heats up and I feel myself blushing, comparing sex with Brian and sex with Tom.
Amy’s been watching me closely and notices the sudden blush. She points at me with one finger and narrows her eyes. “What’s that all about?”
I look down again and shrug. “Nothing,” I mutter.
“That’s not nothing. What were you just thinking, Jenna.” Amy has just pulled out her teacher voice, the one she uses on misbehaving students to get them to fess up.
I look at the uncompromising expression on her face now. She won’t let this go until I tell her something. I wrack my brain for something believable.
“Quit stalling and just spit it out, Jenna. I’ll know if you’re lying.”
“Well … I was just thinking about how much better the sex is with Brian,” I finally mumble.
“Ha! I knew it!” she crows, smacking my knee.
“What? How on earth could you know that? I never told you anything about either of them.”
“Jenna, it’s what you don’t say that speaks volumes. I’ve known you forever. I can tell when you’ve had good sex.” I blush again at her words. “Hey now, none of that. I know Tom’s the only other guy you’ve been with. I know you were in love with him. You guys had a great relationship. Just because Brian’s better in the sack doesn’t diminish what you had with Tom or what you were to each other.”
She reaches out and takes my left hand in both of hers. “You can’t do this to yourself anymore, though.” She starts wiggling the engagement ring off my finger. “You need to let go of the guilt and embrace life again. Put this and Tom’s shirt back in your memory box in your closet where they belong. You were starting to move on with Brian. It was a good thing. It was nice to see you leave the house and laugh and smile again.”
I nod. My finger feels naked again without the ring. She places it in my palm and folds my fingers around it. “I know,” I whisper. “I just—it’s just … hard.”
“I know,” she whispers back. We sit like that for a moment, her hands wrapped around mine holding Tom’s engagement ring. “Jenna, Tom wouldn’t want you to punish yourself for moving on. He wouldn’t want you to be lonely and sad for the rest of your life because of him. You’ve always been fun and full of life. Tom loved that about you. It’s been so hard watching you this last year. That’s why I dragged you out and made you meet someone again. I’ve missed my friend that smiles and laughs. I’ve enjoyed having you back the last few weeks. Can she come out and play some more?”
I smile a little at that last crack.
“Go wash your face and change your shirt and then we’ll plan what to do next.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
An hour later Amy and I are sitting on my couch again. I’ve showered and changed clothes. I put the engagement ring and Tom’s shirt back in the box on the top shelf of my closet. Amy ordered pizza while I was in the shower, and we’ve now mostly demolished our old comfort standby of a large double pepperoni with extra cheese. This has been our ritual since we were college roommates. Whenever one of us is upset or trying to get over someone or something we split this pizza and gorge ourselves. We usually watch a movie and follow it up with some ice cream, but tonight the TV is off.
Amy sits back, groaning slightly, letting her hand holding the crust of her fourth piece hang down at her side. “I’m going to have to go to the gym tomorrow,” she says, just like she does every time we do this. I smile at her around the large bite of pizza in my mouth.
Amy tosses her crust back in the pizza box on the coffee table in front of us. There’s one slice left alongside her crust. “Okay,” she says. “Time to make a plan.”
I swallow. “A plan?”
“Yes. A plan to get your love life back on track.”
“Must we?”
“Yes.”
“Fine. Any suggestions?”
“You need to get Brian back.”
“Right. I’ll get right on that.”
“I’m serious,
Amy’s been watching me closely and notices the sudden blush. She points at me with one finger and narrows her eyes. “What’s that all about?”
I look down again and shrug. “Nothing,” I mutter.
“That’s not nothing. What were you just thinking, Jenna.” Amy has just pulled out her teacher voice, the one she uses on misbehaving students to get them to fess up.
I look at the uncompromising expression on her face now. She won’t let this go until I tell her something. I wrack my brain for something believable.
“Quit stalling and just spit it out, Jenna. I’ll know if you’re lying.”
“Well … I was just thinking about how much better the sex is with Brian,” I finally mumble.
“Ha! I knew it!” she crows, smacking my knee.
“What? How on earth could you know that? I never told you anything about either of them.”
“Jenna, it’s what you don’t say that speaks volumes. I’ve known you forever. I can tell when you’ve had good sex.” I blush again at her words. “Hey now, none of that. I know Tom’s the only other guy you’ve been with. I know you were in love with him. You guys had a great relationship. Just because Brian’s better in the sack doesn’t diminish what you had with Tom or what you were to each other.”
She reaches out and takes my left hand in both of hers. “You can’t do this to yourself anymore, though.” She starts wiggling the engagement ring off my finger. “You need to let go of the guilt and embrace life again. Put this and Tom’s shirt back in your memory box in your closet where they belong. You were starting to move on with Brian. It was a good thing. It was nice to see you leave the house and laugh and smile again.”
I nod. My finger feels naked again without the ring. She places it in my palm and folds my fingers around it. “I know,” I whisper. “I just—it’s just … hard.”
“I know,” she whispers back. We sit like that for a moment, her hands wrapped around mine holding Tom’s engagement ring. “Jenna, Tom wouldn’t want you to punish yourself for moving on. He wouldn’t want you to be lonely and sad for the rest of your life because of him. You’ve always been fun and full of life. Tom loved that about you. It’s been so hard watching you this last year. That’s why I dragged you out and made you meet someone again. I’ve missed my friend that smiles and laughs. I’ve enjoyed having you back the last few weeks. Can she come out and play some more?”
I smile a little at that last crack.
“Go wash your face and change your shirt and then we’ll plan what to do next.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
An hour later Amy and I are sitting on my couch again. I’ve showered and changed clothes. I put the engagement ring and Tom’s shirt back in the box on the top shelf of my closet. Amy ordered pizza while I was in the shower, and we’ve now mostly demolished our old comfort standby of a large double pepperoni with extra cheese. This has been our ritual since we were college roommates. Whenever one of us is upset or trying to get over someone or something we split this pizza and gorge ourselves. We usually watch a movie and follow it up with some ice cream, but tonight the TV is off.
Amy sits back, groaning slightly, letting her hand holding the crust of her fourth piece hang down at her side. “I’m going to have to go to the gym tomorrow,” she says, just like she does every time we do this. I smile at her around the large bite of pizza in my mouth.
Amy tosses her crust back in the pizza box on the coffee table in front of us. There’s one slice left alongside her crust. “Okay,” she says. “Time to make a plan.”
I swallow. “A plan?”
“Yes. A plan to get your love life back on track.”
“Must we?”
“Yes.”
“Fine. Any suggestions?”
“You need to get Brian back.”
“Right. I’ll get right on that.”
“I’m serious,
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