but my brain had always seemed to get in the way. Not then, not in that moment.
Turning to face him in that small space, I took his face in my hands. I had to say it. I had to get it out before I lost the nerve, before the words disappeared. I had to say it up there above the city, looking out at the most perfect place on the planet with the most perfect man in the world.
“Andrea?” he asked when all I could seem to do was stare into those gorgeous brown eyes of his. “What is it?”
I closed my eyes for a second, recalled our heated moment in the shower, took myself back there so I could say what I wish I would have been brave enough to say right then. “I—I love you, too Jace Richardson.”
I hadn’t even opened my eyes before his lips were on mine. The others inside that small space made noises of adoration, but all I could focus on, all that really mattered, was his taste, his smell, the brush of his stubble against my face.
This man had stolen my heart. I didn’t know how and I didn’t know when, but I hadn’t a doubt in the world that it was true. Even if everything in my head tried to tell me it was wrong. Even if the worries of what my family would say when I told them would plague me all the way back to the hospital. And even when I worried that things would all come crashing down around me.
Because love like that didn’t really exist, did it?
Didn’t love take time and effort? Didn’t it require you to talk about the future and what your plans were? Didn’t it mean coming to agreements about where you would live and how many children you would have? Wasn’t the way Sean and I had done things the way it was supposed to be done? Hadn’t we created the perfect plan? Wouldn’t this love, this crazy, stupid love that had no rhyme or reason crumble and fall?
My heart said no, but as usual, my head tried to get in the way. It made me quiet all the way back. It made me sick to my stomach when he asked what was wrong when we pulled into the parking lot. But most of all, it made me anxious and nervous as we walked through the hallway and I tried to decide when would be the right time to talk to my mom and dad about it all.
CHAPTER SIX
Everything had kind of calmed down inside my brother’s room. Cole was sleeping. My mother was reading a book on her Kindle. My dad was watching the news. My other brothers were gone. But I could still feel the difference in the room; it didn’t feel heavy or oppressive like it had before, just tired and relaxed. It was kind of nice, really. More like I was used to seeing my family.
So was my mother’s smile as she glanced up from the book she was reading. “Have a nice time?” she asked, barely above a whisper as she looked first to me and then to Jace.
We both nodded, mindful of my brother’s need to rest. I took a seat next to her after setting the flowers and all the food on the nightstand by my brother’s bed. Jace stood over by the door but when my dad looked up and spotted him there, he motioned for Jace to come sit over on the other side of the room.
As they sat and quietly talked about the weather, I started to think that maybe it wouldn’t be so difficult, talking to my parents. They’d clearly already accepted Jace, not just in a way that he was another human being—something my parents had always been rather skillful at—but as a part of me, of my life. What did I have to worry about anyway?
“Mom?” I asked, turning to face her, deciding that there was no better time than the present. That was all we had anyway. “Do you have a minute?”
Mom smiled and nodded. “Of course, sweetie. What’s on your mind?” she asked, closing her Kindle and placing it on her lap to give me her full, undivided attention.
I glanced nervously over in Jace’s direction. “Can we—“ I looked to the door, hoping that she caught on.
Mom gave me a knowing nod, stood and then made her way toward the door. I followed right behind, waving to both my dad
Turning to face him in that small space, I took his face in my hands. I had to say it. I had to get it out before I lost the nerve, before the words disappeared. I had to say it up there above the city, looking out at the most perfect place on the planet with the most perfect man in the world.
“Andrea?” he asked when all I could seem to do was stare into those gorgeous brown eyes of his. “What is it?”
I closed my eyes for a second, recalled our heated moment in the shower, took myself back there so I could say what I wish I would have been brave enough to say right then. “I—I love you, too Jace Richardson.”
I hadn’t even opened my eyes before his lips were on mine. The others inside that small space made noises of adoration, but all I could focus on, all that really mattered, was his taste, his smell, the brush of his stubble against my face.
This man had stolen my heart. I didn’t know how and I didn’t know when, but I hadn’t a doubt in the world that it was true. Even if everything in my head tried to tell me it was wrong. Even if the worries of what my family would say when I told them would plague me all the way back to the hospital. And even when I worried that things would all come crashing down around me.
Because love like that didn’t really exist, did it?
Didn’t love take time and effort? Didn’t it require you to talk about the future and what your plans were? Didn’t it mean coming to agreements about where you would live and how many children you would have? Wasn’t the way Sean and I had done things the way it was supposed to be done? Hadn’t we created the perfect plan? Wouldn’t this love, this crazy, stupid love that had no rhyme or reason crumble and fall?
My heart said no, but as usual, my head tried to get in the way. It made me quiet all the way back. It made me sick to my stomach when he asked what was wrong when we pulled into the parking lot. But most of all, it made me anxious and nervous as we walked through the hallway and I tried to decide when would be the right time to talk to my mom and dad about it all.
CHAPTER SIX
Everything had kind of calmed down inside my brother’s room. Cole was sleeping. My mother was reading a book on her Kindle. My dad was watching the news. My other brothers were gone. But I could still feel the difference in the room; it didn’t feel heavy or oppressive like it had before, just tired and relaxed. It was kind of nice, really. More like I was used to seeing my family.
So was my mother’s smile as she glanced up from the book she was reading. “Have a nice time?” she asked, barely above a whisper as she looked first to me and then to Jace.
We both nodded, mindful of my brother’s need to rest. I took a seat next to her after setting the flowers and all the food on the nightstand by my brother’s bed. Jace stood over by the door but when my dad looked up and spotted him there, he motioned for Jace to come sit over on the other side of the room.
As they sat and quietly talked about the weather, I started to think that maybe it wouldn’t be so difficult, talking to my parents. They’d clearly already accepted Jace, not just in a way that he was another human being—something my parents had always been rather skillful at—but as a part of me, of my life. What did I have to worry about anyway?
“Mom?” I asked, turning to face her, deciding that there was no better time than the present. That was all we had anyway. “Do you have a minute?”
Mom smiled and nodded. “Of course, sweetie. What’s on your mind?” she asked, closing her Kindle and placing it on her lap to give me her full, undivided attention.
I glanced nervously over in Jace’s direction. “Can we—“ I looked to the door, hoping that she caught on.
Mom gave me a knowing nod, stood and then made her way toward the door. I followed right behind, waving to both my dad
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