California. NAAFA’s position is that fat people should not be victimized by their excessive mass or
high-calorie lifestyle. No, the rest of us should suffer for their obesity instead.
I must confess that I find it difficult to take the full-figured flaks at NAAFA seriously. The first time I heard the name
of the organization, I thought it was some sort of agricultural advocacy group, like the Dairy Board or Beef Council. You
know, with catchy slogans like “Fat: It Keeps a Body Warm!” or “The
Other
Other White Meat (or meat-like substance).”
According to NAAFA, fat folks are the victims of biology,genealogy, gastroenterology, and, for all I know, archaeology and Scientology, too. People are fat because they are oppressed
by the evil diet industry, the evil pharmaceutical interests, and the What Are We Going to Do with All These Lime-Green Stretch
Pants? cabal.
In other words, if it weren’t for all the diet products, low-cal foods, and social emphasis on good looks and health, these
people would be skin and bones by now. Instead, the spokesperson for the NAAFA I spoke with weighed 375 pounds, due entirely
(she claimed) to failed diets and an insulin imbalance.
Claiming to be a victim because you spend your days flopped down in front of
General Hospital
with Dr Pepper, Colonel Sanders, and Little Debbie—yep, that’s southern, all right. But seizing victim status while making
everyone else suffer—that’s redneck!
And so NAAFA and its allies have mounted a campaign to end the “discrimination” against obese people. You own a tanning salon
and you refuse to hire Wanda the Whale to welcome your customers—you get sued. You own a health food store and don’t think
a four-hundred-pound employee fits into your marketing scheme—get a lawyer. And if your house catches fire in California and
a ladder truck rolls up out front staffed with sumo wrestlers who can’t climb the ladder—that’s America’s victim culture at
work.
In the old, evil, bigoted days before NAAFA, a fire safety employee had to be able to do certain things, little things irrelevant
to public safety like, oh, climb a fire truck ladder without breaking it. Some fire department employees were even expected
to be able to climb up this ladder and back down again
while carrying another person
.
The problem is that when you’re 5’10” and 350 pounds, you’re already carrying the equivalent of another person around every
day of your life. Three wouldn’t just be a crowd, it would be a hernia.
These expectations of mobility and strength prevented some obese fire department applicants from being hired. Bigotry, oppression—and
the old-fashioned belief that it’s stupid to hire people for a job they are physically incapable of accomplishing—combined
to deny these Super-Sized citizens their rights. So these husky would-be hose pullers went to court… and won. And thanks to
a court ruling, obese people are no longer victims. Instead, the victims now are the taxpayers who have to pay the salaries
of these rotund fire truck riders. The taxpayers must also pay normal-sized firefighters who are actually competent and able
to do the lifesaving work.
Then there are the potential victims, the people in the burning buildings or emergency situations who cannot be served by
these public safety employees.
An America infused with the values of self-reliance and objective justice as championed by the old Civil Rights Movement would
laugh these lard-butted loons out of court. But in a truly southern America, these self-declared victims are as at home as
a pig in slo… Uh, you know what I mean.
And only in a Redneck Nation dominated by “it’s not my fault” Southernism could people who smoked three packs a day for thirty
years have the nerve to appear before a jury and blame the cigarettes. In 2000, CNN reported that a San Francisco jury awarded
$20 million to Leslie Whiteley, a forty-year-old
high-calorie lifestyle. No, the rest of us should suffer for their obesity instead.
I must confess that I find it difficult to take the full-figured flaks at NAAFA seriously. The first time I heard the name
of the organization, I thought it was some sort of agricultural advocacy group, like the Dairy Board or Beef Council. You
know, with catchy slogans like “Fat: It Keeps a Body Warm!” or “The
Other
Other White Meat (or meat-like substance).”
According to NAAFA, fat folks are the victims of biology,genealogy, gastroenterology, and, for all I know, archaeology and Scientology, too. People are fat because they are oppressed
by the evil diet industry, the evil pharmaceutical interests, and the What Are We Going to Do with All These Lime-Green Stretch
Pants? cabal.
In other words, if it weren’t for all the diet products, low-cal foods, and social emphasis on good looks and health, these
people would be skin and bones by now. Instead, the spokesperson for the NAAFA I spoke with weighed 375 pounds, due entirely
(she claimed) to failed diets and an insulin imbalance.
Claiming to be a victim because you spend your days flopped down in front of
General Hospital
with Dr Pepper, Colonel Sanders, and Little Debbie—yep, that’s southern, all right. But seizing victim status while making
everyone else suffer—that’s redneck!
And so NAAFA and its allies have mounted a campaign to end the “discrimination” against obese people. You own a tanning salon
and you refuse to hire Wanda the Whale to welcome your customers—you get sued. You own a health food store and don’t think
a four-hundred-pound employee fits into your marketing scheme—get a lawyer. And if your house catches fire in California and
a ladder truck rolls up out front staffed with sumo wrestlers who can’t climb the ladder—that’s America’s victim culture at
work.
In the old, evil, bigoted days before NAAFA, a fire safety employee had to be able to do certain things, little things irrelevant
to public safety like, oh, climb a fire truck ladder without breaking it. Some fire department employees were even expected
to be able to climb up this ladder and back down again
while carrying another person
.
The problem is that when you’re 5’10” and 350 pounds, you’re already carrying the equivalent of another person around every
day of your life. Three wouldn’t just be a crowd, it would be a hernia.
These expectations of mobility and strength prevented some obese fire department applicants from being hired. Bigotry, oppression—and
the old-fashioned belief that it’s stupid to hire people for a job they are physically incapable of accomplishing—combined
to deny these Super-Sized citizens their rights. So these husky would-be hose pullers went to court… and won. And thanks to
a court ruling, obese people are no longer victims. Instead, the victims now are the taxpayers who have to pay the salaries
of these rotund fire truck riders. The taxpayers must also pay normal-sized firefighters who are actually competent and able
to do the lifesaving work.
Then there are the potential victims, the people in the burning buildings or emergency situations who cannot be served by
these public safety employees.
An America infused with the values of self-reliance and objective justice as championed by the old Civil Rights Movement would
laugh these lard-butted loons out of court. But in a truly southern America, these self-declared victims are as at home as
a pig in slo… Uh, you know what I mean.
And only in a Redneck Nation dominated by “it’s not my fault” Southernism could people who smoked three packs a day for thirty
years have the nerve to appear before a jury and blame the cigarettes. In 2000, CNN reported that a San Francisco jury awarded
$20 million to Leslie Whiteley, a forty-year-old
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