started to pull away.
“ Jake, ” I whispered.
“ Shh. ” He kissed me again, lingering a bit longer, before stepping back with a sexy smile.
“ Goodnight, Addy. ”
He jogged down the stairs and straddled his bike while fastening his helmet. I was in a complete daze as I touched my fingers to my lips and watched him leave. I stood frozen in place for a few minutes after he drove off. Jake was almost ten years younger than me, and my head was ready to explode with confusion. I finally opened the door to my loft, nearly stumbling inside, then I plopped down on my couch.
I was looking for every reason why kissing Jake was a catastrophically bad idea, but in the grand scheme of my messed up life I couldn’t think of one good reason. As soon as I came to that conclusion, I packed a bag and drove to Chicago.
*
“ Addy! ” Mac yelled as I grabbed my bags from the back seat.
I walked toward her then dropped my bags to hug her.
“ Hey, Mackenzie! I’ve missed you. ”
She pulled back to look at me. “ Well, you should not be missing me. You should be making my neighbors an offer they can’t refuse on their house so you can move in next to me. ”
“ Chicago … someday, but not yet. ”
We walked into her house.
“ Evan and I are holding The Sage hostage, so if you want to enjoy sailing this summer you’d better rethink ‘someday.’ ”
“ I have nothing better to do than drive down here every weekend for a sailing threesome with you and Evan, so nice try with the blackmail. ”
She poured us both iced tea, and we made our way to the porch overlooking her large, wooded lot.
“ Have you talked to him? ” she asked hesitantly.
“ By him I assume you mean Quinn, and no, I haven’t. Elena has left me several messages, but I haven’t called her. I sent her a few texts letting her know I’m fine and asking how she’s doing. ”
“ How she’s doing? Nothing about Quinn? ” Mac raised her eyebrows in disbelief.
“ I haven’t asked about him, but she’s offered more than I wanted to know. ”
“ Such as? ”
I sipped my tea and looked out the window at a spastic squirrel zigzagging around the back woods. “ Such as he hasn’t been sober a day since I left and he quit his physical therapy. ”
“ I wondered. ”
“ What do you mean by that? ” I looked at her with a raised eye brow.
“ Well, when I called him looking for you he was … ” The tight apprehension in her face was apparent, even though she had no reason to hide the truth.
“ Drunk. Just say it. He was drunk. ”
Her nose wrinkled as she nodded.
“ What’d he say to you? ”
She didn’t answer.
“ Just tell me, I can handle it, ” I insisted as I put my glass on a coaster then started nervously twirling my hair.
She released the breath she’d been holding. “ He said you … crippled him and then dumped his ass and … ”
“ And what? ”
“ Addy, what’s the purpose of this? If it’s over, then why do this to yourself? ”
“ Mac. ” I looked at her until she caved and finished.
“ He said he couldn’t care less where you went. ”
Quinn was an awful drunk, but knowing that didn’t lessen the sting.
“ I bet you wish you never met him. ”
I winced hearing her say those words. “ No, I loved Quinn … I’ll always love him. There was a moment in our relationship when I knew I’d given him so much of myself that I wasn’t sure I’d survive without him. I did it anyway, because being with him was worth it. But I am, one day at a time, surviving without him. ”
“ I don’t know how you do it. You’re such a better person than I am. And you’re definitely a better person than Quinn could ever hope to be. He doesn’t deserve you. ” Mac spoke with an undercurrent of anger to her voice.
“ Well, until I’m ready to face my past, and I mean really face my past, then I’m never going to have a lasting relationship. I try to convince myself that my past doesn’t matter, but it
“ Jake, ” I whispered.
“ Shh. ” He kissed me again, lingering a bit longer, before stepping back with a sexy smile.
“ Goodnight, Addy. ”
He jogged down the stairs and straddled his bike while fastening his helmet. I was in a complete daze as I touched my fingers to my lips and watched him leave. I stood frozen in place for a few minutes after he drove off. Jake was almost ten years younger than me, and my head was ready to explode with confusion. I finally opened the door to my loft, nearly stumbling inside, then I plopped down on my couch.
I was looking for every reason why kissing Jake was a catastrophically bad idea, but in the grand scheme of my messed up life I couldn’t think of one good reason. As soon as I came to that conclusion, I packed a bag and drove to Chicago.
*
“ Addy! ” Mac yelled as I grabbed my bags from the back seat.
I walked toward her then dropped my bags to hug her.
“ Hey, Mackenzie! I’ve missed you. ”
She pulled back to look at me. “ Well, you should not be missing me. You should be making my neighbors an offer they can’t refuse on their house so you can move in next to me. ”
“ Chicago … someday, but not yet. ”
We walked into her house.
“ Evan and I are holding The Sage hostage, so if you want to enjoy sailing this summer you’d better rethink ‘someday.’ ”
“ I have nothing better to do than drive down here every weekend for a sailing threesome with you and Evan, so nice try with the blackmail. ”
She poured us both iced tea, and we made our way to the porch overlooking her large, wooded lot.
“ Have you talked to him? ” she asked hesitantly.
“ By him I assume you mean Quinn, and no, I haven’t. Elena has left me several messages, but I haven’t called her. I sent her a few texts letting her know I’m fine and asking how she’s doing. ”
“ How she’s doing? Nothing about Quinn? ” Mac raised her eyebrows in disbelief.
“ I haven’t asked about him, but she’s offered more than I wanted to know. ”
“ Such as? ”
I sipped my tea and looked out the window at a spastic squirrel zigzagging around the back woods. “ Such as he hasn’t been sober a day since I left and he quit his physical therapy. ”
“ I wondered. ”
“ What do you mean by that? ” I looked at her with a raised eye brow.
“ Well, when I called him looking for you he was … ” The tight apprehension in her face was apparent, even though she had no reason to hide the truth.
“ Drunk. Just say it. He was drunk. ”
Her nose wrinkled as she nodded.
“ What’d he say to you? ”
She didn’t answer.
“ Just tell me, I can handle it, ” I insisted as I put my glass on a coaster then started nervously twirling my hair.
She released the breath she’d been holding. “ He said you … crippled him and then dumped his ass and … ”
“ And what? ”
“ Addy, what’s the purpose of this? If it’s over, then why do this to yourself? ”
“ Mac. ” I looked at her until she caved and finished.
“ He said he couldn’t care less where you went. ”
Quinn was an awful drunk, but knowing that didn’t lessen the sting.
“ I bet you wish you never met him. ”
I winced hearing her say those words. “ No, I loved Quinn … I’ll always love him. There was a moment in our relationship when I knew I’d given him so much of myself that I wasn’t sure I’d survive without him. I did it anyway, because being with him was worth it. But I am, one day at a time, surviving without him. ”
“ I don’t know how you do it. You’re such a better person than I am. And you’re definitely a better person than Quinn could ever hope to be. He doesn’t deserve you. ” Mac spoke with an undercurrent of anger to her voice.
“ Well, until I’m ready to face my past, and I mean really face my past, then I’m never going to have a lasting relationship. I try to convince myself that my past doesn’t matter, but it
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