didn’t
like how intense the situation had gotten. I needed to escape like I always did
when things got too serious.
He
caught my wrist again and I hesitated, but didn’t turn to look back at him.
“There are some things you cannot control Lillian. Love is one of those things.
It doesn’t matter how hard you try to fight you will always love and you will
always get hurt.”
“Love
only causes pain,” I said softly then I pulled my hand free and walked out
leaving him there.
“What
the hell is going on?” Colin asked as I pushed past him and Drake.
“Nothing,”
I muttered as I continued on my way. I didn’t feel like explaining it to them.
I wasn’t even sure there was anything to explain. I was lost and confused. My
mother’s guidance would have come in handy at this point, but she was gone. It
was so much simpler for me to pretend I didn’t feel.
I
drove to my favorite beach. I parked in a public parking spot then walked to a
bench that was facing the water. I sat down and looked out over the water as
the sun started to peek above the horizon. It was a beautiful view. I loved
this place. It was the last place I had gone with my parents before their
death. After they died Luca always brought me here because he claimed it was my
happy place. I wasn’t feeling very happy at the moment, but I did love this
spot.
“How
did I know you would be here?” Luca asked amused as he walked toward me.
I
stiffened at first, but relaxed when I realized he was alone. I wasn’t ready to
face my uncle. I couldn’t explain to him why I killed the marshal. I wasn’t
sure if he would really even understand. I wasn’t sure I even understood. “What
are you doing here?” I asked quietly as I looked back out over the water.
He
took a seat next to me. “Looking for you of course. I was worried about you
after everything that happened.”
“I’m
fine,” I muttered. “I am sure my uncle wouldn’t approve of you talking to me.”
“Well
it is a good thing I don’t care what your uncle thinks,” he said as he nudged
me playfully.
I
smiled slightly. “How mad is he?”
He
shrugged as he picked up a small shell out of the sand. “I think he is more
worried than anything. You are following in your parents footsteps and as you
can see it didn’t end well for them.”
I
looked down at my hands. I wasn’t sure what to say. I decided to be honest with
Luca and hope he would offer some advice. “I couldn’t let him die,” I said
softly.
“I
am assuming you are talking about Aubrey,” he said sounding slightly annoyed. I
could tell he was trying hard to mask his feelings. He just wasn’t very good at
it.
“Yes.
I can’t get him out of my head. It is infuriating sometimes. I think about him
dying and it feels like a knife is being driven through my chest,” I said
quietly. I shivered at just the thought of the feeling. I couldn’t imagine how
it would feel if he really died.
“Do
you love him?” he asked as he watched me.
I
thought about it for a minute. The truth was I really didn’t know. I didn’t
know him well enough to say I loved him. I couldn’t let myself get that close
to him. “I can’t love him,” I said softly.
He
nodded like he understood. “I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but I
am going to say it anyway. I don’t like the guy; then again I don’t like any
guy that you date, but you are being unfair to Aubrey.”
I
looked at him a little startled. I never thought in a million years he would
defend Aubrey. “What do you mean?”
He
shrugged and looked back at the little shell he was playing with. “I mean he
didn’t kill your parents so why are you treating him like he did?”
I
scowled. “I know he didn’t kill my parents, but he is a vampire and…”
“And
vampires are all murderers because one vampire killed your parents,” he said
cutting me off.
I
looked at him for a minute then looked away. He was right. My uncle had said
something similar to
like how intense the situation had gotten. I needed to escape like I always did
when things got too serious.
He
caught my wrist again and I hesitated, but didn’t turn to look back at him.
“There are some things you cannot control Lillian. Love is one of those things.
It doesn’t matter how hard you try to fight you will always love and you will
always get hurt.”
“Love
only causes pain,” I said softly then I pulled my hand free and walked out
leaving him there.
“What
the hell is going on?” Colin asked as I pushed past him and Drake.
“Nothing,”
I muttered as I continued on my way. I didn’t feel like explaining it to them.
I wasn’t even sure there was anything to explain. I was lost and confused. My
mother’s guidance would have come in handy at this point, but she was gone. It
was so much simpler for me to pretend I didn’t feel.
I
drove to my favorite beach. I parked in a public parking spot then walked to a
bench that was facing the water. I sat down and looked out over the water as
the sun started to peek above the horizon. It was a beautiful view. I loved
this place. It was the last place I had gone with my parents before their
death. After they died Luca always brought me here because he claimed it was my
happy place. I wasn’t feeling very happy at the moment, but I did love this
spot.
“How
did I know you would be here?” Luca asked amused as he walked toward me.
I
stiffened at first, but relaxed when I realized he was alone. I wasn’t ready to
face my uncle. I couldn’t explain to him why I killed the marshal. I wasn’t
sure if he would really even understand. I wasn’t sure I even understood. “What
are you doing here?” I asked quietly as I looked back out over the water.
He
took a seat next to me. “Looking for you of course. I was worried about you
after everything that happened.”
“I’m
fine,” I muttered. “I am sure my uncle wouldn’t approve of you talking to me.”
“Well
it is a good thing I don’t care what your uncle thinks,” he said as he nudged
me playfully.
I
smiled slightly. “How mad is he?”
He
shrugged as he picked up a small shell out of the sand. “I think he is more
worried than anything. You are following in your parents footsteps and as you
can see it didn’t end well for them.”
I
looked down at my hands. I wasn’t sure what to say. I decided to be honest with
Luca and hope he would offer some advice. “I couldn’t let him die,” I said
softly.
“I
am assuming you are talking about Aubrey,” he said sounding slightly annoyed. I
could tell he was trying hard to mask his feelings. He just wasn’t very good at
it.
“Yes.
I can’t get him out of my head. It is infuriating sometimes. I think about him
dying and it feels like a knife is being driven through my chest,” I said
quietly. I shivered at just the thought of the feeling. I couldn’t imagine how
it would feel if he really died.
“Do
you love him?” he asked as he watched me.
I
thought about it for a minute. The truth was I really didn’t know. I didn’t
know him well enough to say I loved him. I couldn’t let myself get that close
to him. “I can’t love him,” I said softly.
He
nodded like he understood. “I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but I
am going to say it anyway. I don’t like the guy; then again I don’t like any
guy that you date, but you are being unfair to Aubrey.”
I
looked at him a little startled. I never thought in a million years he would
defend Aubrey. “What do you mean?”
He
shrugged and looked back at the little shell he was playing with. “I mean he
didn’t kill your parents so why are you treating him like he did?”
I
scowled. “I know he didn’t kill my parents, but he is a vampire and…”
“And
vampires are all murderers because one vampire killed your parents,” he said
cutting me off.
I
looked at him for a minute then looked away. He was right. My uncle had said
something similar to
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