Requiem for a Dream by Hubert Selby Jr. Page B

the
television set and it shivered slightly from the coup de grace and
one last spark jumped across a foot of burned space and fizzled away
into eternity as the final wisp of smoke whirled into the atmosphere
and commingled with the smoke from the pot and hash and cigarettes
and the popper scented air and sought freedom from various and sundry
cracks and crevices to disperse itself in the atmosphere. Tony
shrugged and jammed the gun into his waist, I toldya not ta fuck wit
me, and he shrugged again, nobody fucks wit Tony Balls, eh? and he
joined the others and took the popper offered him and did it in and
fell on the floor laughing with the others as somebody offered up a
prayer for the deceased, between giggles, and Harry and Marion had
another popper jammed between them as their bodies continued to grind
into each other as they laughed and clung like skin to each other and
the music continued to drift through the smoke and laughter and
through ears and heads and brains and minds and somehow came out the
other side undisturbed and unchanged and everyone felt good man, I
mean real good, like they just beat a murder rap, or made it to the
top of Mt. Everest, or got heavy with sky diving or floating through
the air like a bird, yeah, soaring and floating on the currents like
a bird, just like a big bird man . . . yeah . . . like they were
suddenly cut loose, like they were suddenly free . . . free . . .
free . . .
    Sara Goldfarb sat in her viewing chair polishing her
nails as she watched the television. Her conditioning had been long
and thorough and Sara was able to do anything while watching the
television, and do it to her satisfaction, without missing a word or
a gesture. Maybe it wasnt perfect, maybe a little polish got on the
fingers and it looked a little lumpy, but who would notice? From a
few feet away it looked like a professional job. And even if it
didnt, whats the big deal? Who did she have to polish her nails for?
Who did she have to worry would see its not so good? Or the sewing or
the ironing or the cleaning? No matter what she is doing one and a
half eyes on the television makes the job, the day and life pass
bearably on. She held a hand out in front of her and looked at the
nails while looking at the television screen between her spread
fingers. She stared at her fingers indulging herself in the optical
illusion that made it look like fingers were piled on top of each
other and that she was looking through them. She smiled and inspected
the other hand. Such a nice red. Gorgeous. Goes so nice with the
dress. Lose a few pounds and the dress would fit like new. The top
started to fall away from her shoulders as she moved and she pulled
it together in the back and leaned back in the chair so it wouldnt
fall again. She loved the red dress. She should be able to lose
weight. She could always let the seams out a little maybe. The
library will have books. Tomorrow I'll go and get the books and go on
a diet. She put another chocolate covered cream in her mouth and let
the chocolate slowly melt and savored the flavor of the chocolate
mixing with the cream center then slowly squeezed the chocolate
between her tongue and the roof of her mouth and smiled and half
closed her eyes as her body tingled with tiny shocks of delight. She
tried desperately to allow the candy to slowly dissolve by itself but
as hard as she fought the urge to bite and chew it was useless and
her eyes suddenly opened wide and her expression stiffened into one
of seriousness as she chewed the candy with intensity and rolled it
once or twice then gulped it down, wiping the corners of her mouth
with the back of her hand. They have plenty of books in the library.
I'll ask for the one I should get. The one that does it quick. Maybe
soon I'll be on the television so soon I need to fit in the red
dress. She stared at the screen aware of the action and the words,
but her mind was still centered on the box of chocolates on the table
next to her chair. She knew