tear slides down my cheek when he kneels down next to my bed.
“I had to see you.”
“S-Shane, why didn’t you tell me you were getting out?”
“I couldn’t talk to you, Piper. I know how much I’ve hurt you and I had to find myself again before I brought you down with me. But as awful as you look, it seems I’m not the problem.” His brow rises with question, as his words slap me in the face. How dare he make such a comment after our last few encounters? He is the last person who should be judging.
“I won’t pretend the last week has been great but don’t forget you were a part of that.” His contempt is inexcusable. “Do you remember how you treated me, Shane? We’ve been friends for so long and you throw me away like yesterday’s trash. How do you think that makes me feel?”
“Piper, I didn’t come over here to fight with you. I want to apologize for what I’ve done. I know nothing I can say will make what happened disappear but I need you to understand I was not in my right mind. I’ve had a lot of time to think about us and I want you to keep an open mind where I’m involved. Listen, I will be back after I get off work for the day. I have something I want to talk to you about.”
He must know our relationship will never be the same. He affects me so differently now. I use to count the moments until it was time for us to be out of school so we could spend hours together. Now, I can’t be in the same room with him out of fear of what he may do or what I may say to set him off. I’m not sure what he wants from me but if it’s what I think, I don’t know I can give it to him. I’m not sure why I feel guilty for having these feelings but he brought this on himself.
“I don’t know if I’ll be around later, I have some things to take care of.” That isn’t really a lie. I do have a lot of things to take care of today but I could be here if I wanted.
“I’ll call you when I get off and we’ll sit down and talk.”
“Did you not hear what I just said?”
“I did but I need to fix this rift between us and I won’t let you worm out of it. I’ll see you later.” Before I can say another word, he stands, kisses me on the forehead and walks out of my room. I lie back down and sigh. He wasn’t listening to a word I said.
“What the hell was that all about?” Phoebe asks.
“Why did you let him in?”
“You know I can’t tell him no. Plus, I know you want to make-up with him. You haven’t been the same since he went to jail.”
“You don’t think that has anything to do with what is going on with Fent?”
“Of course, but if you could have your best friend back while you’re dealing with him, I know it would make you feel a lot better.” I sigh again because she is right.
“Is he coming over later?”
“Yes, but I don’t know if I’ll be here.”
“Piper, damn it! Will you put your pride aside and pull your head out of the clouds? Fent is gone and isn’t coming back. He has never been a one woman kind of man and why you thought he ever could be is astounding. You have this man practically begging to be with you and you keep turning him down.”
“I can’t force feelings I don’t have, Phoebe!”
“You’re not even trying, Piper!”
“I’d say four years of friendship is trying.”
“I have to go to work,” she says as she leaves the room.
I pull my pillow over my face as I want to scream. I know I need to talk with Shane but I was not prepared to talk to him so soon. I’m not sure I’m ready to forgive him yet and I know that’s what he wants from me.
I loved Shane and it was because of that love it tore me to pieces when he was being so selfish, doing his drugs and going home with random women. Then he attacked me and I was essentially at the end of my rope with him. I was teetering on the edge of faith and understanding and in one night he squashed everything we had, seemingly without a second thought. Fenton basically did the same thing. I
“I had to see you.”
“S-Shane, why didn’t you tell me you were getting out?”
“I couldn’t talk to you, Piper. I know how much I’ve hurt you and I had to find myself again before I brought you down with me. But as awful as you look, it seems I’m not the problem.” His brow rises with question, as his words slap me in the face. How dare he make such a comment after our last few encounters? He is the last person who should be judging.
“I won’t pretend the last week has been great but don’t forget you were a part of that.” His contempt is inexcusable. “Do you remember how you treated me, Shane? We’ve been friends for so long and you throw me away like yesterday’s trash. How do you think that makes me feel?”
“Piper, I didn’t come over here to fight with you. I want to apologize for what I’ve done. I know nothing I can say will make what happened disappear but I need you to understand I was not in my right mind. I’ve had a lot of time to think about us and I want you to keep an open mind where I’m involved. Listen, I will be back after I get off work for the day. I have something I want to talk to you about.”
He must know our relationship will never be the same. He affects me so differently now. I use to count the moments until it was time for us to be out of school so we could spend hours together. Now, I can’t be in the same room with him out of fear of what he may do or what I may say to set him off. I’m not sure what he wants from me but if it’s what I think, I don’t know I can give it to him. I’m not sure why I feel guilty for having these feelings but he brought this on himself.
“I don’t know if I’ll be around later, I have some things to take care of.” That isn’t really a lie. I do have a lot of things to take care of today but I could be here if I wanted.
“I’ll call you when I get off and we’ll sit down and talk.”
“Did you not hear what I just said?”
“I did but I need to fix this rift between us and I won’t let you worm out of it. I’ll see you later.” Before I can say another word, he stands, kisses me on the forehead and walks out of my room. I lie back down and sigh. He wasn’t listening to a word I said.
“What the hell was that all about?” Phoebe asks.
“Why did you let him in?”
“You know I can’t tell him no. Plus, I know you want to make-up with him. You haven’t been the same since he went to jail.”
“You don’t think that has anything to do with what is going on with Fent?”
“Of course, but if you could have your best friend back while you’re dealing with him, I know it would make you feel a lot better.” I sigh again because she is right.
“Is he coming over later?”
“Yes, but I don’t know if I’ll be here.”
“Piper, damn it! Will you put your pride aside and pull your head out of the clouds? Fent is gone and isn’t coming back. He has never been a one woman kind of man and why you thought he ever could be is astounding. You have this man practically begging to be with you and you keep turning him down.”
“I can’t force feelings I don’t have, Phoebe!”
“You’re not even trying, Piper!”
“I’d say four years of friendship is trying.”
“I have to go to work,” she says as she leaves the room.
I pull my pillow over my face as I want to scream. I know I need to talk with Shane but I was not prepared to talk to him so soon. I’m not sure I’m ready to forgive him yet and I know that’s what he wants from me.
I loved Shane and it was because of that love it tore me to pieces when he was being so selfish, doing his drugs and going home with random women. Then he attacked me and I was essentially at the end of my rope with him. I was teetering on the edge of faith and understanding and in one night he squashed everything we had, seemingly without a second thought. Fenton basically did the same thing. I
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