crazy?
“Um, no.” Ghosts. It would be easier to play along with ghosts. “Eric, it got … weird. Like, beyond seeing my dead fiancée weird.”
Eric’s eyes narrowed. “Dude, you didn’t sleep with her, did you?”
I sighed. Now he wanted to act like the Eric I expected. “God, I hate you sometimes.” He knew that wasn’t true. “She’s alive, but … not really Lottie. She claims she’s … I guess kind of like an explorer. She said she was curious about Earth anyway. And she was really upset. I mean, I think I only saw Lottie cry like that once, when her dad died.”
Eric sat up straighter and looked like he was trying to figure out a puzzle. Me? My insanity? How he hadn’t seen this coming?
“Like Invasion of the Body Snatchers?” he asked.
I slapped my desk. “I knew that was a movie. Is it any good?”
“Yeah, the original. Tell me what else she said.”
And so I did. Fifteen minutes ago, the last thing I had wanted to talk about was Lottie and this bizarre encounter and now I was replaying the entire morning, word for word, action for action. And Eric just sat there, watching me, like a mystery he was trying to figure out. When I got to the end, the part where she finally pulled away from me and opened my car door, pleading with me one last time to forgive her, before closing it behind her and walking quickly out of the parking garage, I emphasized that I hadn’t followed her because I knew she hadn’t wanted me to.
Eric had a tendency to rub his thumb and forefinger together when he was thinking, and he sat there now, rubbing, rubbing, rubbing. I wanted to know if he was deciding on what institution to have me committed to, but that’s probably one of those questions that shouldn’t be asked. Ever.
“And what have you found out since then?” he finally asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Surely you’ve tried to locate her.”
When I just stared back at him blankly, he gave me one of those are-you-having-a-slow-English-day looks. “Shit, Dietrich, are you new at this?”
“She doesn’t want me to find her. Were you listening?”
Eric waved his hand at me dismissively. “Of course, I was listening. That’s why I want to know how to find her.”
I shook my head. “No, this isn’t a game. You didn’t see her, you didn’t see how…” but he cut me off again.
“No, I know it’s not a game, Dietrich. Whoever you saw… Whomever? … Fuck, I don’t care. Whoever that was, well, there’s one of two things happening. Either she’s a damn good liar and impersonator, and don’t roll your eyes at me, I’m not done. I know, she wouldn’t have been able to fool you. So that leaves two: there’s some crazy shit going on and maybe I’m not buying her explanation, but something … I don’t know. I don’t know what it could be. But that’s why we should find her.”
“Wait, we?”
Eric narrowed his eyes at me again. “Are you sure you didn’t sleep with her?”
I threw the legal pad at him. I wanted something heavier, but I didn’t want to break my laptop. “Ow! Ok, fine. I believe you. Goddamn, you throw hard.” Eric rubbed his shoulder where the corner of the pad had hit him. I couldn’t even feign sympathy. Or interest.
I was too busy thinking of the possibilities, of what this could mean. What if I did try to find her? How hard could it be? I found people who didn’t want to be found all the time. And she had even admitted she was still living as Charlotte. Maybe her last name had changed, but I knew exactly what she looked like and I had a first name. I could do this. But she had asked me not to. So the most important question was: would she forgive me?
Eric was waiting for me, looking at me as if seeing all of those thoughts tumble through my brain. And he probably already knew it wouldn’t take much convincing at this point to reel me in. He chose his words carefully now. “Daniel has been offering you generous time off for over two years now. And
“Um, no.” Ghosts. It would be easier to play along with ghosts. “Eric, it got … weird. Like, beyond seeing my dead fiancée weird.”
Eric’s eyes narrowed. “Dude, you didn’t sleep with her, did you?”
I sighed. Now he wanted to act like the Eric I expected. “God, I hate you sometimes.” He knew that wasn’t true. “She’s alive, but … not really Lottie. She claims she’s … I guess kind of like an explorer. She said she was curious about Earth anyway. And she was really upset. I mean, I think I only saw Lottie cry like that once, when her dad died.”
Eric sat up straighter and looked like he was trying to figure out a puzzle. Me? My insanity? How he hadn’t seen this coming?
“Like Invasion of the Body Snatchers?” he asked.
I slapped my desk. “I knew that was a movie. Is it any good?”
“Yeah, the original. Tell me what else she said.”
And so I did. Fifteen minutes ago, the last thing I had wanted to talk about was Lottie and this bizarre encounter and now I was replaying the entire morning, word for word, action for action. And Eric just sat there, watching me, like a mystery he was trying to figure out. When I got to the end, the part where she finally pulled away from me and opened my car door, pleading with me one last time to forgive her, before closing it behind her and walking quickly out of the parking garage, I emphasized that I hadn’t followed her because I knew she hadn’t wanted me to.
Eric had a tendency to rub his thumb and forefinger together when he was thinking, and he sat there now, rubbing, rubbing, rubbing. I wanted to know if he was deciding on what institution to have me committed to, but that’s probably one of those questions that shouldn’t be asked. Ever.
“And what have you found out since then?” he finally asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Surely you’ve tried to locate her.”
When I just stared back at him blankly, he gave me one of those are-you-having-a-slow-English-day looks. “Shit, Dietrich, are you new at this?”
“She doesn’t want me to find her. Were you listening?”
Eric waved his hand at me dismissively. “Of course, I was listening. That’s why I want to know how to find her.”
I shook my head. “No, this isn’t a game. You didn’t see her, you didn’t see how…” but he cut me off again.
“No, I know it’s not a game, Dietrich. Whoever you saw… Whomever? … Fuck, I don’t care. Whoever that was, well, there’s one of two things happening. Either she’s a damn good liar and impersonator, and don’t roll your eyes at me, I’m not done. I know, she wouldn’t have been able to fool you. So that leaves two: there’s some crazy shit going on and maybe I’m not buying her explanation, but something … I don’t know. I don’t know what it could be. But that’s why we should find her.”
“Wait, we?”
Eric narrowed his eyes at me again. “Are you sure you didn’t sleep with her?”
I threw the legal pad at him. I wanted something heavier, but I didn’t want to break my laptop. “Ow! Ok, fine. I believe you. Goddamn, you throw hard.” Eric rubbed his shoulder where the corner of the pad had hit him. I couldn’t even feign sympathy. Or interest.
I was too busy thinking of the possibilities, of what this could mean. What if I did try to find her? How hard could it be? I found people who didn’t want to be found all the time. And she had even admitted she was still living as Charlotte. Maybe her last name had changed, but I knew exactly what she looked like and I had a first name. I could do this. But she had asked me not to. So the most important question was: would she forgive me?
Eric was waiting for me, looking at me as if seeing all of those thoughts tumble through my brain. And he probably already knew it wouldn’t take much convincing at this point to reel me in. He chose his words carefully now. “Daniel has been offering you generous time off for over two years now. And
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