you’ll be just fine, Tanzie. Don’t you remember your babysitting empire? You’re so driven. Just give it some time.”
“Oh God, Lucy. Yes, climbing a corporate ladder is exactly like cultivating babysitting clients.” The sarcasm makes Lucy pause at the other end and I can tell I’ve hurt her feelings a little.
“You know what I mean, Tanzie,” Lucy resumes. As the youngest of the seven girls, I inherited a babysitting dynasty whose client list had been refined over the years to include the who’s who of San Francisco. For fifty cents an hour, an O’Leary girl would watch the children, feed, bathe, and put them to bed, plus clean the house. Lucy hated taking care of children. Money was not a motivator for her, but it had been for me, so I happily absorbed her client base, working just about every night, spending my evenings in the orderly and quiet homes of my wealthy clients. After I put the children to bed and cleaned up, I could have privacy, something that was impossible at my house. As a teenager, when I had envisioned my future, it was not sitting at a Formica table drinking coffee and listening to a distant relative snore on the couch.
“Maybe I should go back to babysitting. It’s not too far from what I’m doing at Bishop. And it pays about the same.”
“What do you do, exactly? Break into buildings?” Lucy is not a corporate person and her only exposure to auditors is via the IRS.
“Well, in most public companies, Internal Audit is an independent group that reports directly to the board of directors. It’s charged with identifying unknown risks, processes that need improvement, and disconnects between what the board thinks is happening and what really is happening.”
“Like the company fuzz? You must be popular.” Lucy laughs.
“Yes, it is quite the social repellant. But it’s project based and we get to do a lot of different things. I think it’s interesting.”
“Right.” Her sarcastic tone comes through loud and clear.
I continue to describe my job in greater detail than Lucy wants to hear. I tell her that since Bishop is not a publiccompany, the department is less independent than what I have been describing.
“Hal reports to the Chief Compliance Officer, an attorney pretty far down in the organization. We look mainly at policy compliance: Have people fudged their expense reports or used their company credit cards for personal benefit? We also look at field operations for safety violations as well as construction contracts to make sure our contractors are billing us properly and have adequate insurance. We’re not necessarily encouraged to look very hard.”
The consensus is that Bishop has miserable controls. The brothers pride themselves on being low-cost providers to the industry, and that means no unnecessary administrative personnel. Accounting departments are thinly staffed and capable of performing only the most critical functions. Engineering staff, responsible for reviewing bills charged to capital construction projects, work late nights just making sure the pipelines are being laid or the plants are getting built on schedule. Cost analysis takes a backseat and is cursory at best. Bishop is making plenty of money, so there’s no perceived need to burn up resources chasing problems that don’t exist.
“Hey, do you remember what tomorrow is?” I guess Lucy must have had enough of my lecture.
“April 6th? Oh, Mama’s birthday.”
“She’d have been ninety-two. I’ve been so sad today. I still miss her.”
“Oh Lucy, all I’ve done is talk about me this whole time.” I’d forgotten all about our mother. Once again I am reminded of my selfishness. Not that I was unloved, but Lucy was our mother’s clear favorite. Lucy is beautiful and kind while I amaggressive, cunning, and selfish. “You’re going to have a hard time finding a man to put up with you, Tanzie!” my mother would often chide.
I remember when I was in the fifth grade St. Geronimo’s
“Oh God, Lucy. Yes, climbing a corporate ladder is exactly like cultivating babysitting clients.” The sarcasm makes Lucy pause at the other end and I can tell I’ve hurt her feelings a little.
“You know what I mean, Tanzie,” Lucy resumes. As the youngest of the seven girls, I inherited a babysitting dynasty whose client list had been refined over the years to include the who’s who of San Francisco. For fifty cents an hour, an O’Leary girl would watch the children, feed, bathe, and put them to bed, plus clean the house. Lucy hated taking care of children. Money was not a motivator for her, but it had been for me, so I happily absorbed her client base, working just about every night, spending my evenings in the orderly and quiet homes of my wealthy clients. After I put the children to bed and cleaned up, I could have privacy, something that was impossible at my house. As a teenager, when I had envisioned my future, it was not sitting at a Formica table drinking coffee and listening to a distant relative snore on the couch.
“Maybe I should go back to babysitting. It’s not too far from what I’m doing at Bishop. And it pays about the same.”
“What do you do, exactly? Break into buildings?” Lucy is not a corporate person and her only exposure to auditors is via the IRS.
“Well, in most public companies, Internal Audit is an independent group that reports directly to the board of directors. It’s charged with identifying unknown risks, processes that need improvement, and disconnects between what the board thinks is happening and what really is happening.”
“Like the company fuzz? You must be popular.” Lucy laughs.
“Yes, it is quite the social repellant. But it’s project based and we get to do a lot of different things. I think it’s interesting.”
“Right.” Her sarcastic tone comes through loud and clear.
I continue to describe my job in greater detail than Lucy wants to hear. I tell her that since Bishop is not a publiccompany, the department is less independent than what I have been describing.
“Hal reports to the Chief Compliance Officer, an attorney pretty far down in the organization. We look mainly at policy compliance: Have people fudged their expense reports or used their company credit cards for personal benefit? We also look at field operations for safety violations as well as construction contracts to make sure our contractors are billing us properly and have adequate insurance. We’re not necessarily encouraged to look very hard.”
The consensus is that Bishop has miserable controls. The brothers pride themselves on being low-cost providers to the industry, and that means no unnecessary administrative personnel. Accounting departments are thinly staffed and capable of performing only the most critical functions. Engineering staff, responsible for reviewing bills charged to capital construction projects, work late nights just making sure the pipelines are being laid or the plants are getting built on schedule. Cost analysis takes a backseat and is cursory at best. Bishop is making plenty of money, so there’s no perceived need to burn up resources chasing problems that don’t exist.
“Hey, do you remember what tomorrow is?” I guess Lucy must have had enough of my lecture.
“April 6th? Oh, Mama’s birthday.”
“She’d have been ninety-two. I’ve been so sad today. I still miss her.”
“Oh Lucy, all I’ve done is talk about me this whole time.” I’d forgotten all about our mother. Once again I am reminded of my selfishness. Not that I was unloved, but Lucy was our mother’s clear favorite. Lucy is beautiful and kind while I amaggressive, cunning, and selfish. “You’re going to have a hard time finding a man to put up with you, Tanzie!” my mother would often chide.
I remember when I was in the fifth grade St. Geronimo’s
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