was nothing.
My steps led me back to the
fridge. On impulse, I took another muffin, and another, one in each hand. The
calories would be removed after 24 hours, I reasoned. I sat at the table and
ate them quickly, one after the other, and then another two.
But it wasn't satisfying. I
wanted to do something life-changing, world-rocking with this chance.
Eventually, I had to resign myself to the fact that I could neither change my
life nor rock the world at half past midnight on a Wednesday night. I decided
to go to bed. Tomorrow, at school, I would see what this ‘Rewind Protocol’
could do for me.
As I pulled the blanket over me,
I suddenly realised what I was going to. A face swam before me, it was Todd
Gallagher. I smiled as I closed my eyes, and let his green eyes and wavy brown
hair to lull me to sleep.
I’d been in love with Todd
Gallagher for years. My family moved the summer before high school, and when I
started my new school, there he was. I was still a child, still small and skinny
and lank, but even back then, he was gorgeous. It was more of a boyish charm he
had then, round cheeks and bright eyes and as he got older he only got better.
He lost his baby fat and found jawlines that could cut glass; he played a lot
of rugby and began to bulk up. He cut his hair very short at about age 14, but
thank God he wore it long now. I loved the way it curled around his face. I was
head over heels, but who wasn’t? He was a sporting star; he was the most
popular guy in school. I had never spoken to him, after all who was I, gawky
and nerdy and only just out of braces, to talk to him? He barely knew I
existed.
But that was all going to change.
I had been given the gift of being free of consequences. The gift of
confidence. Today, I was going to march straight up to him and tell him what I
thought of him. I was going to sweep him off his feet. Well, at the very least
I would say hello. And if the result was favourable, I’d do it again tomorrow, the real today, the today that would stick, with nothing to hold me back. If
it went badly, if he laughed in my face or stared at me in horror, I wouldn’t
make the same mistake. I’d know I was doing the right thing staying away.
I got up early. I never normally
wore make-up to school, but today I would risk it. Today I needed it. I had
just perfected my work with the mascara wand when my sister’s shriek reached me
from downstairs. The cheesecake muffins. Ah.
“Tara! You swine! I know it was
you!” She pounded up the stairs and burst into the bathroom. “What the hell is
your problem? You couldn’t stay away for one day? What kind of a fat pig eats five muffins?” I stared at her. I didn’t really have a response. It was a fair
point. “Now what am I going to do? There aren’t enough to go around!” Still, I
said nothing. My sister gave a small roar of frustration and pushed me
backwards, “I hate you, I actually hate you!” she spat, and stormed out.
When I went down for breakfast,
Mum wasn’t looking happy.
“That was just spiteful, Tara,”
she said. “You didn’t need to take all of those. Can’t you give some back?” I
shook my head guiltily. “You actually ate all of them? Honestly, Tara,
that’s no way to behave.” And she carried on unstacking the dishwasher,
slamming plates and cups into the cupboard rather more forcefully than was
strictly necessary.
Not a good start to the day. Of
course, it would all be erased, and Mum and Jennifer would never know they had
ever been angry with me, but it put me out of sorts. And I needed to be
completely in sorts for my mission today.
I was quiet on the bus on the way
to school. I felt I was guarding a huge secret, a huge gift that I wasn’t going
to share with anyone. I wondered what would happen if I told my friends that
everything today was going to be erased and reset. They’d laugh at me,
probably. Why would they believe me?
But what if they did? What if
they joined me? We’d have so
My steps led me back to the
fridge. On impulse, I took another muffin, and another, one in each hand. The
calories would be removed after 24 hours, I reasoned. I sat at the table and
ate them quickly, one after the other, and then another two.
But it wasn't satisfying. I
wanted to do something life-changing, world-rocking with this chance.
Eventually, I had to resign myself to the fact that I could neither change my
life nor rock the world at half past midnight on a Wednesday night. I decided
to go to bed. Tomorrow, at school, I would see what this ‘Rewind Protocol’
could do for me.
As I pulled the blanket over me,
I suddenly realised what I was going to. A face swam before me, it was Todd
Gallagher. I smiled as I closed my eyes, and let his green eyes and wavy brown
hair to lull me to sleep.
I’d been in love with Todd
Gallagher for years. My family moved the summer before high school, and when I
started my new school, there he was. I was still a child, still small and skinny
and lank, but even back then, he was gorgeous. It was more of a boyish charm he
had then, round cheeks and bright eyes and as he got older he only got better.
He lost his baby fat and found jawlines that could cut glass; he played a lot
of rugby and began to bulk up. He cut his hair very short at about age 14, but
thank God he wore it long now. I loved the way it curled around his face. I was
head over heels, but who wasn’t? He was a sporting star; he was the most
popular guy in school. I had never spoken to him, after all who was I, gawky
and nerdy and only just out of braces, to talk to him? He barely knew I
existed.
But that was all going to change.
I had been given the gift of being free of consequences. The gift of
confidence. Today, I was going to march straight up to him and tell him what I
thought of him. I was going to sweep him off his feet. Well, at the very least
I would say hello. And if the result was favourable, I’d do it again tomorrow, the real today, the today that would stick, with nothing to hold me back. If
it went badly, if he laughed in my face or stared at me in horror, I wouldn’t
make the same mistake. I’d know I was doing the right thing staying away.
I got up early. I never normally
wore make-up to school, but today I would risk it. Today I needed it. I had
just perfected my work with the mascara wand when my sister’s shriek reached me
from downstairs. The cheesecake muffins. Ah.
“Tara! You swine! I know it was
you!” She pounded up the stairs and burst into the bathroom. “What the hell is
your problem? You couldn’t stay away for one day? What kind of a fat pig eats five muffins?” I stared at her. I didn’t really have a response. It was a fair
point. “Now what am I going to do? There aren’t enough to go around!” Still, I
said nothing. My sister gave a small roar of frustration and pushed me
backwards, “I hate you, I actually hate you!” she spat, and stormed out.
When I went down for breakfast,
Mum wasn’t looking happy.
“That was just spiteful, Tara,”
she said. “You didn’t need to take all of those. Can’t you give some back?” I
shook my head guiltily. “You actually ate all of them? Honestly, Tara,
that’s no way to behave.” And she carried on unstacking the dishwasher,
slamming plates and cups into the cupboard rather more forcefully than was
strictly necessary.
Not a good start to the day. Of
course, it would all be erased, and Mum and Jennifer would never know they had
ever been angry with me, but it put me out of sorts. And I needed to be
completely in sorts for my mission today.
I was quiet on the bus on the way
to school. I felt I was guarding a huge secret, a huge gift that I wasn’t going
to share with anyone. I wondered what would happen if I told my friends that
everything today was going to be erased and reset. They’d laugh at me,
probably. Why would they believe me?
But what if they did? What if
they joined me? We’d have so