much more fun with this secret together than I
would alone. And still I didn’t want to. I wanted to keep this for myself. I
wanted to see where it could take me.
My best friend Nat was waiting
for me by the lockers. I went over to her but my eyes were fixed on Todd, down
the corridor, talking to his rugby mates.
“Someone’s made an effort,” Nat
said, eyeing me up and down. My hair was released from its usual ponytail, and
I’d rolled my skirt up and worn non-regulation shoes, the ones with a kitten
heel and a pointy toe that I’d convinced myself made my legs look better when I
walked. On impulse, I undid another button on my shirt. “What’s got into you?”
Nat said, looking incredulous.
“I have decided, my dear Natalie,
to seize the day.” I felt untouchable, invincible, like I could walk on the
clouds. I grabbed Natalie on either side of the head and planted a kiss on her
forehead. “Watch this.”
“You’re crazy,” she called after
me. She didn’t know how crazy.
Nobody really paid me any
attention as I strutted, yes, strutted, down the corridor. Even when I was
right in front of Todd and his mates, it was a good few seconds before anyone
registered my presence. Gradually the conversation petered out and they all
stared at me.
My throat went dry. Absolved from
consequences I may have been, but that didn’t change the fact that I was a
shrinking violet when it came to situations like this. I tried to tell myself
to be confident, but it felt like telling my hand to grow an extra finger. It’ll
all be over soon , I told myself. Midnight tonight and none of this ever
happened. You can deal with it .
I tossed my hair, like I’d seen
girls do on TV.
“Todd, right?” I said, looking
him straight in the eye. My heart was pounding painfully. Surely he could hear
it?
“Er, yeah.” Around him, his mates
were beginning to snicker.
“How about coffee this
afternoon?” I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking. I gave him what I
hoped was a sultry look. “My treat.”
“Um, I don’t think so,” he said,
clearly trying not to laugh, as from behind me walked Becky Lane, Todd’s tall,
blonde, beautiful girlfriend. She wound her arm around his neck.
“Yes?” she said, her blue eyes
wide and blinking. “Can we help you?”
No consequences, I thought. You’ve
only got one shot at this, don’t walk away now . I could have punched her. I
wanted to know exactly how sweet the satisfaction would feel. But I was here to
get a realistic idea of what would happen if I approached Todd. My mind
scrabbled for some way of saving the situation.
“Only,” I said hurriedly, “We’ve
been paired up for that English presentation, I thought we could discuss it.
Over coffee.”
”What English presentation?”
“Oh, you were away last lesson.
Did nobody tell you? We were assigned projects.” Becky began running her
fingers through his hair, head on one side and foot tapping impatiently. Todd
obediently put his arm around her waist.
“Right. Well. I guess I’ll just talk
to you about it in class,” Todd said pointedly. I shrugged. Nonchalant, not
a care in the world. Don’t mess it up now, just act cool.
“Sure. See you in class.”
I walked away slowly, telling
myself not to rush, willing my shoes not to slip off my feet, wondering how I
was going to get my real partner for the presentation to switch for me.
“Absolutely mad,” Nat said
wonderingly. “What on earth possessed you?” I shrugged. I was still trying to
act cool but under it all my heart was racing.
“Life is short. You have to make
things happen, can’t sit around waiting for them.”
“You just had an epiphany last
night? I’ve never seen such a transformation. Practically instantaneous.”
We were walking to our first
class, arm in arm as usual. I began to giggle. Some sort of adrenaline rush. It
was contagious, and soon Nat and I were laughing together.
“Tara Craik!” It was my history
teacher. “What
would alone. And still I didn’t want to. I wanted to keep this for myself. I
wanted to see where it could take me.
My best friend Nat was waiting
for me by the lockers. I went over to her but my eyes were fixed on Todd, down
the corridor, talking to his rugby mates.
“Someone’s made an effort,” Nat
said, eyeing me up and down. My hair was released from its usual ponytail, and
I’d rolled my skirt up and worn non-regulation shoes, the ones with a kitten
heel and a pointy toe that I’d convinced myself made my legs look better when I
walked. On impulse, I undid another button on my shirt. “What’s got into you?”
Nat said, looking incredulous.
“I have decided, my dear Natalie,
to seize the day.” I felt untouchable, invincible, like I could walk on the
clouds. I grabbed Natalie on either side of the head and planted a kiss on her
forehead. “Watch this.”
“You’re crazy,” she called after
me. She didn’t know how crazy.
Nobody really paid me any
attention as I strutted, yes, strutted, down the corridor. Even when I was
right in front of Todd and his mates, it was a good few seconds before anyone
registered my presence. Gradually the conversation petered out and they all
stared at me.
My throat went dry. Absolved from
consequences I may have been, but that didn’t change the fact that I was a
shrinking violet when it came to situations like this. I tried to tell myself
to be confident, but it felt like telling my hand to grow an extra finger. It’ll
all be over soon , I told myself. Midnight tonight and none of this ever
happened. You can deal with it .
I tossed my hair, like I’d seen
girls do on TV.
“Todd, right?” I said, looking
him straight in the eye. My heart was pounding painfully. Surely he could hear
it?
“Er, yeah.” Around him, his mates
were beginning to snicker.
“How about coffee this
afternoon?” I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking. I gave him what I
hoped was a sultry look. “My treat.”
“Um, I don’t think so,” he said,
clearly trying not to laugh, as from behind me walked Becky Lane, Todd’s tall,
blonde, beautiful girlfriend. She wound her arm around his neck.
“Yes?” she said, her blue eyes
wide and blinking. “Can we help you?”
No consequences, I thought. You’ve
only got one shot at this, don’t walk away now . I could have punched her. I
wanted to know exactly how sweet the satisfaction would feel. But I was here to
get a realistic idea of what would happen if I approached Todd. My mind
scrabbled for some way of saving the situation.
“Only,” I said hurriedly, “We’ve
been paired up for that English presentation, I thought we could discuss it.
Over coffee.”
”What English presentation?”
“Oh, you were away last lesson.
Did nobody tell you? We were assigned projects.” Becky began running her
fingers through his hair, head on one side and foot tapping impatiently. Todd
obediently put his arm around her waist.
“Right. Well. I guess I’ll just talk
to you about it in class,” Todd said pointedly. I shrugged. Nonchalant, not
a care in the world. Don’t mess it up now, just act cool.
“Sure. See you in class.”
I walked away slowly, telling
myself not to rush, willing my shoes not to slip off my feet, wondering how I
was going to get my real partner for the presentation to switch for me.
“Absolutely mad,” Nat said
wonderingly. “What on earth possessed you?” I shrugged. I was still trying to
act cool but under it all my heart was racing.
“Life is short. You have to make
things happen, can’t sit around waiting for them.”
“You just had an epiphany last
night? I’ve never seen such a transformation. Practically instantaneous.”
We were walking to our first
class, arm in arm as usual. I began to giggle. Some sort of adrenaline rush. It
was contagious, and soon Nat and I were laughing together.
“Tara Craik!” It was my history
teacher. “What
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