Rising Darkness by Nancy Mehl

me.
    â€œWell, it’s lovely,” I said. “You’re very blessed to live in such a nice place.”
    She nodded. “I love the people in this town. They are my friends.” She covered her mouth as she yawned. “I am sorry, Emily, but I am rather tired. I know people your age can go all day without wearing out, but I am not so fortunate. Would you mind if we brought our conversation to a close tonight? We can talk again tomorrow.”
    â€œOf course not,” I said quickly. “I’m sorry. I should have realized . . .”
    â€œThat I’m an old woman and need my rest?” Esther laughed. “I do not expect you to know ahead of time when I am weary.”
    I smiled at her. “Tomorrow I plan to spend some timegoing through the church records. Can we talk again in the afternoon?”
    â€œThat would be fine.”
    â€œNow, let me help you clean up.”
    â€œThank you,” she said. “But if we can just rinse the dishes, I will wash them in the morning.”
    â€œNonsense,” I said gently. “Please, Esther. Let me do it. I promise I’ll be careful. I won’t break anything.”
    Esther’s eyes widened as she looked at me. “All right, child. If you really want to do that, it would be appreciated.”
    â€œThank you. You won’t take any payment for putting me up. At least let me help out some.”
    She nodded and got to her feet. Together we carried our plates and cups into the kitchen. After getting a glass of water to take to her room, Esther said good night. Her bedroom was on the first floor, not too far from the kitchen. I’d noticed that Janet had spoken rather loudly when in her presence. Obviously, Esther was a little hard of hearing, so I doubted I’d need to be too careful about making noise after she went to bed.
    I washed the dishes by hand and put them in the drainer to dry. Although I loved the dishwasher in my small apartment in St. Louis, there was something almost therapeutic about doing things the old-fashioned way. There was a window over the sink that looked out over the backyard. Although it was dark outside, a light on the back of the house illuminated the yard with a soft golden glow. Esther’s house backed up to a row of trees, and to my surprise a deer stepped through the foliage and walked slowly into the small clearing. She stopped several times and looked around. I stood still, afraid to move,afraid she would see me and run. Finally she dipped her head and began to eat, and I realized Esther had put out food for her. I watched, transported back in time to Kingdom. There had been a family of deer that occasionally came into our yard. I put food out whenever I could sneak something out of the house. Carrots, corn, sweet potatoes, apples, regular potatoes, and lettuce. Whatever I could get my hands on when my parents weren’t looking. I loved to watch the deer feed through my bedroom window while I lay in bed at night. Until my father caught me taking food outside. He threatened to kill the deer and eat them if he ever saw them again. I stopped feeding them, and eventually they quit coming. At the time I felt as if I had betrayed them and lost the only friends I’d ever had.
    It wasn’t until the deer finished her meal and disappeared back through the trees that I realized tears coursed down my cheeks. I’d promised myself my father would never hurt me again, and it made me angry to allow him and his cruelty back into my mind. I wiped my face with the back of my hand and eventually managed to harness the raw feelings I’d spent years trying to ignore. I finished the dishes while whispering my affirmations until my emotions were back under control.
    After I dried everything and put the dishes away, I walked through the quiet house to the front door. I’d noticed some rocking chairs when I’d come in, so I went outside and sat down in one of them. Then I