let me, I need to tell him, show him that I want what he wants.
I want to try.
Again, it’s impossible to spot him with so many people standing and others moving to the dance floor. I barely hear the live orchestra or the people talking and laughing around me as I move through the crowd.
Then I see him.
It’s as if the crowd parts to show me the way and he’s right there.
My heart thudding in my chest, I make my way towards him. Every step closer makes my stomach flip-flop and my chest pitter-patter.
Should I be casual?
Hey, imagine seeing you here.
Stupid!
Of course he’s here, this is his charity function.
But then…
Our gazes meet and everything goes quiet.
It’s like everyone disappears, leaving just me and Ted facing one another.
I want to look away, to run and hide.
But that’s not why I’m here.
I’m here to be honest with him.
I’m here to tell him how I feel and this might be my only chance.
It’s now or never.
His expression softens, his eyes get darker and his mouth curves into a smile that makes everything inside me vibrate.
I smile back, feeling heat rush up my throat and into my cheeks.
But I don’t hide it.
I let everything show, in my eyes and in my smile I let it all show.
“Teddy, I’m getting tired. Can we go home soon?” The simpering voice comes from nowhere then suddenly there’s a petite, immaculately dressed blonde woman hanging off his arm.
No.
Please no.
And just like that, the crowd rushes back in.
Talking, laughing so loud too loud.
It’s like watching a car crash as she smiles up at him, stroking his arm, and speaking in that annoying baby-doll voice.
Why do men like that so much?
Ted looks down at her then back at me, his expression unreadable.
Of course he’s with someone.
Did I really expect him to wait for me to get my shit together?
Do you really think he just met her?
A nasty voice sneers in my head.
Maybe I’m the other woman…
The thought makes me sick.
I’m the one who broke of any chance for a relationship so I’m the only one to blame.
This is Ted’s night and he deserves to be happy.
I won’t be the one to ruin it.
“Stupid,” I mutter to myself before spinning on my heel and walking away.
I push and squeeze through the crowd, needing to be anywhere but here.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I hear him call my name but I don’t stop.
Outside the cold air is like a slap in the face but I need it.
How many times do I need to make this same mistake before I learn?
I feel my eyes stinging but I blink back the tears.
I’m so sick of crying over men who don’t give a shit about me!
The tears flow all the same and I fall against the wall, staring up at the night sky.
I should text Gemma to tell her I’m leaving but my fingers are trembling so hard I don’t think I can manage to type even the most basic message.
Damn.
Just when I was ready to give my heart away, it is shattered again…
Chapter 15
SLAM!
The doors swing open behind me and I gasp in shock.
“Hannah?” Ted is looking at me like he might gaze at an alien species. “What in the hell are you doing here?”
Shaking my head I back away. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Oh no you don’t,” he barks striding closer, backing me against a wide beam. “You are not going to run away this time.”
I expect him to trap me against the hard stone at my back but he keeps his distance, chest rising and falling hard and fast.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
I promised I would at least say that and I will.
“I’m sorry that I ran out on you, and I’m sorry I was such a bitch that last night. I just came to say – that.”
“That’s all?”
I look down at my feet and nod. “Yeah, that’s all.” After a few deep breaths I meet his gaze again. “Shouldn’t you get back inside? I’m sure your date’s waiting for you.”
He steps closer, closer, till he’s invading my space and
I want to try.
Again, it’s impossible to spot him with so many people standing and others moving to the dance floor. I barely hear the live orchestra or the people talking and laughing around me as I move through the crowd.
Then I see him.
It’s as if the crowd parts to show me the way and he’s right there.
My heart thudding in my chest, I make my way towards him. Every step closer makes my stomach flip-flop and my chest pitter-patter.
Should I be casual?
Hey, imagine seeing you here.
Stupid!
Of course he’s here, this is his charity function.
But then…
Our gazes meet and everything goes quiet.
It’s like everyone disappears, leaving just me and Ted facing one another.
I want to look away, to run and hide.
But that’s not why I’m here.
I’m here to be honest with him.
I’m here to tell him how I feel and this might be my only chance.
It’s now or never.
His expression softens, his eyes get darker and his mouth curves into a smile that makes everything inside me vibrate.
I smile back, feeling heat rush up my throat and into my cheeks.
But I don’t hide it.
I let everything show, in my eyes and in my smile I let it all show.
“Teddy, I’m getting tired. Can we go home soon?” The simpering voice comes from nowhere then suddenly there’s a petite, immaculately dressed blonde woman hanging off his arm.
No.
Please no.
And just like that, the crowd rushes back in.
Talking, laughing so loud too loud.
It’s like watching a car crash as she smiles up at him, stroking his arm, and speaking in that annoying baby-doll voice.
Why do men like that so much?
Ted looks down at her then back at me, his expression unreadable.
Of course he’s with someone.
Did I really expect him to wait for me to get my shit together?
Do you really think he just met her?
A nasty voice sneers in my head.
Maybe I’m the other woman…
The thought makes me sick.
I’m the one who broke of any chance for a relationship so I’m the only one to blame.
This is Ted’s night and he deserves to be happy.
I won’t be the one to ruin it.
“Stupid,” I mutter to myself before spinning on my heel and walking away.
I push and squeeze through the crowd, needing to be anywhere but here.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I hear him call my name but I don’t stop.
Outside the cold air is like a slap in the face but I need it.
How many times do I need to make this same mistake before I learn?
I feel my eyes stinging but I blink back the tears.
I’m so sick of crying over men who don’t give a shit about me!
The tears flow all the same and I fall against the wall, staring up at the night sky.
I should text Gemma to tell her I’m leaving but my fingers are trembling so hard I don’t think I can manage to type even the most basic message.
Damn.
Just when I was ready to give my heart away, it is shattered again…
Chapter 15
SLAM!
The doors swing open behind me and I gasp in shock.
“Hannah?” Ted is looking at me like he might gaze at an alien species. “What in the hell are you doing here?”
Shaking my head I back away. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Oh no you don’t,” he barks striding closer, backing me against a wide beam. “You are not going to run away this time.”
I expect him to trap me against the hard stone at my back but he keeps his distance, chest rising and falling hard and fast.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
I promised I would at least say that and I will.
“I’m sorry that I ran out on you, and I’m sorry I was such a bitch that last night. I just came to say – that.”
“That’s all?”
I look down at my feet and nod. “Yeah, that’s all.” After a few deep breaths I meet his gaze again. “Shouldn’t you get back inside? I’m sure your date’s waiting for you.”
He steps closer, closer, till he’s invading my space and
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