Logan teases.
“What the hell are you talking about?” He doesn’t really play sports, don’t think he ever did but it’s not like he looks all that different than me. His muscles are cut, and he’s wearing a pair of cargo shorts and a T-shirt like I am. Yeah he’s pierced and tattooed but that’s not a big deal.
“You just do. I can’t explain it. If we’d met a few years ago, we wouldn’t have been friends.”
I shake my head at him. “I would have been cool with you. I’ve always been cool with just about anyone.”
Logan laughs and I’m not sure why but it makes me laugh too. I’m about to sit down next to him when there’s a knock on my door. Still laughing, I reach over and grab the knob and pull.
My mouth snaps shut, body tense as I look at the three people standing there. I can’t find words and neither do they. Logan is suddenly silent behind me.
“Alec, we tried to call you, but you didn’t answer.” Charlie steps forward and gives me a hug. “Surprise?” she whispers in my ear.
I can’t stop myself from looking at him, from wondering how he’s feeling. He looks better than he did when I was in New York, stronger, but he’s still smaller and his eyes still lonely.
“We can go, if this isn’t a good time,” Nate says when Charlie lets go of me. I break eye contact with Brandon and focus on his brother.
“We ended up coming a day early and thought we’d stop by and say hi,” Nate continues.
Managing to find my voice, I signal for them to come in. “Nah. It’s cool.” Charlie, then Nate, and . . .
“Hey.” Brandon pushes his hands in his pocket, before his eyes land on the couch. His jaw sets.
Serves you right, man.
I’m suddenly aware of everything. Of Brandon’s shorts and the black button up shirt he’s wearing. That his dark brown hair is a little longer. The feel of my still wet hair from my shower. It pisses me off, so I turn from him. Without saying anything to Brandon, I wait until he comes inside before pushing the door closed.
“Guys, this is Logan.” He stands up and reaches for Charlie’s hand. “Logan, this is my best friend, Charlie.”
“Nice to meet you,” she tells him.
“Hi.” After telling her hello, he looks at Nate.
“That’s Nate.” They shake hands and then his eyes land on Brandon and I know he realizes who he is. Just like Brand knows who Logan is.
“And this is Brandon.”
Logan smiles at him because that’s just how he is. He holds out his hand. “What’s up?”
Brandon doesn’t move, his hands still shoved deep into his pockets. His arms are smaller, the muscles not as defined as they used to be and I suddenly feel like hitting him because I still notice him that way.
Finally when I think Logan is about to drop his hand, Brandon reaches out and grabs it. “Hey, man. What’s up?” Dropping Logan’s hand, he turns to me. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Not,
we
didn’t mean to interrupt.
I.
I wonder if he even notices he said it. Turning away from him, I reply. “You guys want something to drink?”
“Actually, I need to go to the restroom. Can you show me where it is?” Charlie’s already heading for my hallway. The apartment is small. Two tiny bedrooms and one small bathroom. She doesn’t need me to show her anything, but I still go with her.
She pushes her way in, pulling me in behind her before closing the door and turning on the water. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t expect you to have someone here.”
“Because I’m gay, doesn’t mean I’m okay with being in the bathroom with you. We’re not that close.”
My lame attempt at a joke doesn’t bring a smile to her face. Instead she sort of cocks her head and looks at me.
“What?” I ask.
“That’s the first time you said you’re gay. Even when I caught you with Brandon or the times you were in New York, you’ve never been able to admit it.”
There’s no real answer I have for that, so I move onto something else instead. “This is
“What the hell are you talking about?” He doesn’t really play sports, don’t think he ever did but it’s not like he looks all that different than me. His muscles are cut, and he’s wearing a pair of cargo shorts and a T-shirt like I am. Yeah he’s pierced and tattooed but that’s not a big deal.
“You just do. I can’t explain it. If we’d met a few years ago, we wouldn’t have been friends.”
I shake my head at him. “I would have been cool with you. I’ve always been cool with just about anyone.”
Logan laughs and I’m not sure why but it makes me laugh too. I’m about to sit down next to him when there’s a knock on my door. Still laughing, I reach over and grab the knob and pull.
My mouth snaps shut, body tense as I look at the three people standing there. I can’t find words and neither do they. Logan is suddenly silent behind me.
“Alec, we tried to call you, but you didn’t answer.” Charlie steps forward and gives me a hug. “Surprise?” she whispers in my ear.
I can’t stop myself from looking at him, from wondering how he’s feeling. He looks better than he did when I was in New York, stronger, but he’s still smaller and his eyes still lonely.
“We can go, if this isn’t a good time,” Nate says when Charlie lets go of me. I break eye contact with Brandon and focus on his brother.
“We ended up coming a day early and thought we’d stop by and say hi,” Nate continues.
Managing to find my voice, I signal for them to come in. “Nah. It’s cool.” Charlie, then Nate, and . . .
“Hey.” Brandon pushes his hands in his pocket, before his eyes land on the couch. His jaw sets.
Serves you right, man.
I’m suddenly aware of everything. Of Brandon’s shorts and the black button up shirt he’s wearing. That his dark brown hair is a little longer. The feel of my still wet hair from my shower. It pisses me off, so I turn from him. Without saying anything to Brandon, I wait until he comes inside before pushing the door closed.
“Guys, this is Logan.” He stands up and reaches for Charlie’s hand. “Logan, this is my best friend, Charlie.”
“Nice to meet you,” she tells him.
“Hi.” After telling her hello, he looks at Nate.
“That’s Nate.” They shake hands and then his eyes land on Brandon and I know he realizes who he is. Just like Brand knows who Logan is.
“And this is Brandon.”
Logan smiles at him because that’s just how he is. He holds out his hand. “What’s up?”
Brandon doesn’t move, his hands still shoved deep into his pockets. His arms are smaller, the muscles not as defined as they used to be and I suddenly feel like hitting him because I still notice him that way.
Finally when I think Logan is about to drop his hand, Brandon reaches out and grabs it. “Hey, man. What’s up?” Dropping Logan’s hand, he turns to me. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Not,
we
didn’t mean to interrupt.
I.
I wonder if he even notices he said it. Turning away from him, I reply. “You guys want something to drink?”
“Actually, I need to go to the restroom. Can you show me where it is?” Charlie’s already heading for my hallway. The apartment is small. Two tiny bedrooms and one small bathroom. She doesn’t need me to show her anything, but I still go with her.
She pushes her way in, pulling me in behind her before closing the door and turning on the water. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t expect you to have someone here.”
“Because I’m gay, doesn’t mean I’m okay with being in the bathroom with you. We’re not that close.”
My lame attempt at a joke doesn’t bring a smile to her face. Instead she sort of cocks her head and looks at me.
“What?” I ask.
“That’s the first time you said you’re gay. Even when I caught you with Brandon or the times you were in New York, you’ve never been able to admit it.”
There’s no real answer I have for that, so I move onto something else instead. “This is
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