Griselda speak to you like she knew you?” His expression contains a mix of hesitation and curiosity.
He’s obviously somewhat informed of my heritage, so he has an inkling of what I’m about to tell him. But that doesn’t alter the fact that this is the one question I’ve been dreading. How can I explain that I was created to make him fall in love with me before killing him? That Griselda is determined to make him pay for the sins of his ancestors and to stop him from achieving peace in the galaxy. How I was ready to blow myself up with the Tempo in an effort to protect him. And there’s no way I’m mentioning that I’m married to Ax. Not in this place, with the very real threat of imminent death hanging over us.
If this turns out to be our last moments together, I don’t want anything tarnishing that.
So, I give him the abbreviated version of what happened to me. He listens patiently as I silently update him. It’s only the odd tremor or muscle clench that demonstrates the impact this is having on him. When I explain about my incendio gift, his eyes flash briefly in alarm and it guts me. Quickly recovering, he surveys the bands on my wrists as I explain about their deflective functionality.
He doesn’t speak for several minutes after I finish. Turning his head away, he stares at the floor. A heavy tension settles in the air. He is obviously questioning everything about me, about us, about what I’ve told him he means to me. My heart throbs painfully. If he turns on me the way Haydn has, I think I’ll be offering myself voluntarily to Dante. I couldn’t bear to go on living if he hates me as well.
Sounds of muffled snoring emit from Evana’s cell. I glance over at her, distressed at her frail sleeping form.
“I’m so worried about her,” Logan says. “Her strength is waning, along with her will to live. I don’t think she can handle much more.”
I can relate to the feeling. “I have faith in the others. We’ll get her out of here.”
Logan knots his hands in his lap. “ I’m so sorry, Sadie. ” I raise my eyes and spear him with a mystified look. So many different emotions are showcased on his face. “How do you feel about it? The fact that you aren’t fully human anymore?”
I exhale noisily. “To be honest,” I say into his mind, while tucking my hair behind my ears, “ I’m not actually shocked. It’s kinda reassuring to finally have an explanation for all the ways in which I’m different. To understand why my family treated me like an outsider.”
“It’s such a violation.” A murderous look crosses his face.
I shrug my shoulders. “What’s done is done. There’s no point dwelling on something I can’t change.” I immerse myself in his eyes. “You knew. That’s what you were going to tell me on the ship.”
He slowly nods his head. “Dr. Zuma did a full work-up on Rindyar.”
I’m terrified to pose this next question, but I need to know. “Do you feel differently about me now?”
His face softens. “ You’re still you. The same girl I fell in love with. Nothing has changed.”
Tears sting my eyes. “ Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me.” A pained look burns the back of his eyes. “You went through all of that because of me. If I hadn’t wanted you so badly, she never would’ve targeted you. You would have been free to live your life the way you wanted. To be happy. To be with someone who had no mess to drag you into.”
He releases my hand and claws his fingers through his hair.
“I wouldn’t change a thing. I want you. I’ll always want you.”
Kneeling up, he reaches for my hand again. “ I love you to bits. More so after hearing that. You have sacrificed so much for me. I’m not worthy of your devotion.” He shakes his head, and it pains me to see him looking so forlorn.
“You are worthy of my everything . I would lay down my life for you .” I very nearly did, but he doesn’t need to know about that.
I could do without the lecture.
“
He’s obviously somewhat informed of my heritage, so he has an inkling of what I’m about to tell him. But that doesn’t alter the fact that this is the one question I’ve been dreading. How can I explain that I was created to make him fall in love with me before killing him? That Griselda is determined to make him pay for the sins of his ancestors and to stop him from achieving peace in the galaxy. How I was ready to blow myself up with the Tempo in an effort to protect him. And there’s no way I’m mentioning that I’m married to Ax. Not in this place, with the very real threat of imminent death hanging over us.
If this turns out to be our last moments together, I don’t want anything tarnishing that.
So, I give him the abbreviated version of what happened to me. He listens patiently as I silently update him. It’s only the odd tremor or muscle clench that demonstrates the impact this is having on him. When I explain about my incendio gift, his eyes flash briefly in alarm and it guts me. Quickly recovering, he surveys the bands on my wrists as I explain about their deflective functionality.
He doesn’t speak for several minutes after I finish. Turning his head away, he stares at the floor. A heavy tension settles in the air. He is obviously questioning everything about me, about us, about what I’ve told him he means to me. My heart throbs painfully. If he turns on me the way Haydn has, I think I’ll be offering myself voluntarily to Dante. I couldn’t bear to go on living if he hates me as well.
Sounds of muffled snoring emit from Evana’s cell. I glance over at her, distressed at her frail sleeping form.
“I’m so worried about her,” Logan says. “Her strength is waning, along with her will to live. I don’t think she can handle much more.”
I can relate to the feeling. “I have faith in the others. We’ll get her out of here.”
Logan knots his hands in his lap. “ I’m so sorry, Sadie. ” I raise my eyes and spear him with a mystified look. So many different emotions are showcased on his face. “How do you feel about it? The fact that you aren’t fully human anymore?”
I exhale noisily. “To be honest,” I say into his mind, while tucking my hair behind my ears, “ I’m not actually shocked. It’s kinda reassuring to finally have an explanation for all the ways in which I’m different. To understand why my family treated me like an outsider.”
“It’s such a violation.” A murderous look crosses his face.
I shrug my shoulders. “What’s done is done. There’s no point dwelling on something I can’t change.” I immerse myself in his eyes. “You knew. That’s what you were going to tell me on the ship.”
He slowly nods his head. “Dr. Zuma did a full work-up on Rindyar.”
I’m terrified to pose this next question, but I need to know. “Do you feel differently about me now?”
His face softens. “ You’re still you. The same girl I fell in love with. Nothing has changed.”
Tears sting my eyes. “ Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me.” A pained look burns the back of his eyes. “You went through all of that because of me. If I hadn’t wanted you so badly, she never would’ve targeted you. You would have been free to live your life the way you wanted. To be happy. To be with someone who had no mess to drag you into.”
He releases my hand and claws his fingers through his hair.
“I wouldn’t change a thing. I want you. I’ll always want you.”
Kneeling up, he reaches for my hand again. “ I love you to bits. More so after hearing that. You have sacrificed so much for me. I’m not worthy of your devotion.” He shakes his head, and it pains me to see him looking so forlorn.
“You are worthy of my everything . I would lay down my life for you .” I very nearly did, but he doesn’t need to know about that.
I could do without the lecture.
“
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