the women safe, keep them warm and fed, talk and listen and that’s what I would do for Ella, talk and listen, earn her trust.
I stared at the array of magnificent drawings before me. She had drawn Eli and Annie, and a woman who I did not recognize, and lastly me. Perfect, each and every one of them, such incredible detail. While she had been busy drawing I was able to admire her closely without scaring her off. She was so consumed with the sketching she didn’t seem to notice anything around her. She barely acknowledged Eli heading off to bed. Her fingers were small and slender, everything about her was petite and fragile, but her eyes were fierce. At one point her sleeve had slipped up and I got a quick glimpse of a deep scar on her wrist. It made my stomach twist with horror at the site. Suddenly all I saw was Sarah slumped on the stark white tiles, blood oozing from deep ugly slits in her wrists. I shook off the image that would send me into a shivering mess and focused on the little Angel before me. Ella’s scars didn’t look fresh, but they bothered me. She had at some time in her precious life sunk so deep she wanted to end it. To think a beauty like Ella had almost been lost bothered me far too much. In the short few hours I had known this angel I had become a little obsessed. I couldn’t get involved with one of Mercy’s girls. Not only was it forbidden, but the women who came through the doors had too much baggage for romantic entanglements and to be honest, I carried too much baggage for them. Most of the girls were passing through, rarely staying in town long enough for a date let-a-lone a relationship. And I didn’t do one night stands, not anymore. I couldn’t really call Selena a girlfriend, what we had going was mutually beneficial, more like I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine. Then once the itch was scratched, we both went our own ways. Not exactly a relationship but I wasn’t screwing anyone else. The thing about war and death, it really fucks with your mind. For a short time I thought losing myself in the body of a warm willing woman would fix all my problems. All it did was give me a few minutes, maybe a couple of hours if I was really lucky, of blissful oblivion. No thoughts of blood, guns, explosions or fucking hot deserts. But when it was over I was right back at the start and the ridiculous game would begin again. When Sarah died I realized how disrespectful my life had become. Perhaps if I hadn’t been so preoccupied with getting laid I might have noticed Sarah slipping, I might have been able to save her. I had stopped with all the women right then, Selena being the only one I allowed to return.
Rubbing my tired eyes I gave Ella one last glance. No, I would not betray her trust, or that of any woman in Mercy’s shelter. I had learnt to zip it up and keep my shit together. I gathered the pictures and took them with me while I went to fix myself a coffee. I don’t know why I took them, some primitive part of me seemed to think they were mine. As I walked by Ella I caught her scent, a subtle blend of coconut and soap. Damn she smelt good, too good. I glanced at my watch. Three hours before I could wake Beth up for her shift. It was going to be a long night.
Even though my eyes were closed I knew the sun was bathed across my face and I squeezed my eyes closed tighter in a futile attempt to block it out. With a blink I quickly realized the blinds were drawn open and the sun was shining through in all its unholy glory. Mercy was hovering over her desk rummaging through paperwork.
“Shut the fucking blinds,” I grumbled, rubbing my eyes. My stomach growled, acknowledging my brain was now awake and demanding food. First stop this morning would be The Pit Stop for a world famous all-day-breakfast.
“No, it’s after ten, time to get up.” Mercy’s gaze never left her desk. “You know, if this
I stared at the array of magnificent drawings before me. She had drawn Eli and Annie, and a woman who I did not recognize, and lastly me. Perfect, each and every one of them, such incredible detail. While she had been busy drawing I was able to admire her closely without scaring her off. She was so consumed with the sketching she didn’t seem to notice anything around her. She barely acknowledged Eli heading off to bed. Her fingers were small and slender, everything about her was petite and fragile, but her eyes were fierce. At one point her sleeve had slipped up and I got a quick glimpse of a deep scar on her wrist. It made my stomach twist with horror at the site. Suddenly all I saw was Sarah slumped on the stark white tiles, blood oozing from deep ugly slits in her wrists. I shook off the image that would send me into a shivering mess and focused on the little Angel before me. Ella’s scars didn’t look fresh, but they bothered me. She had at some time in her precious life sunk so deep she wanted to end it. To think a beauty like Ella had almost been lost bothered me far too much. In the short few hours I had known this angel I had become a little obsessed. I couldn’t get involved with one of Mercy’s girls. Not only was it forbidden, but the women who came through the doors had too much baggage for romantic entanglements and to be honest, I carried too much baggage for them. Most of the girls were passing through, rarely staying in town long enough for a date let-a-lone a relationship. And I didn’t do one night stands, not anymore. I couldn’t really call Selena a girlfriend, what we had going was mutually beneficial, more like I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine. Then once the itch was scratched, we both went our own ways. Not exactly a relationship but I wasn’t screwing anyone else. The thing about war and death, it really fucks with your mind. For a short time I thought losing myself in the body of a warm willing woman would fix all my problems. All it did was give me a few minutes, maybe a couple of hours if I was really lucky, of blissful oblivion. No thoughts of blood, guns, explosions or fucking hot deserts. But when it was over I was right back at the start and the ridiculous game would begin again. When Sarah died I realized how disrespectful my life had become. Perhaps if I hadn’t been so preoccupied with getting laid I might have noticed Sarah slipping, I might have been able to save her. I had stopped with all the women right then, Selena being the only one I allowed to return.
Rubbing my tired eyes I gave Ella one last glance. No, I would not betray her trust, or that of any woman in Mercy’s shelter. I had learnt to zip it up and keep my shit together. I gathered the pictures and took them with me while I went to fix myself a coffee. I don’t know why I took them, some primitive part of me seemed to think they were mine. As I walked by Ella I caught her scent, a subtle blend of coconut and soap. Damn she smelt good, too good. I glanced at my watch. Three hours before I could wake Beth up for her shift. It was going to be a long night.
Even though my eyes were closed I knew the sun was bathed across my face and I squeezed my eyes closed tighter in a futile attempt to block it out. With a blink I quickly realized the blinds were drawn open and the sun was shining through in all its unholy glory. Mercy was hovering over her desk rummaging through paperwork.
“Shut the fucking blinds,” I grumbled, rubbing my eyes. My stomach growled, acknowledging my brain was now awake and demanding food. First stop this morning would be The Pit Stop for a world famous all-day-breakfast.
“No, it’s after ten, time to get up.” Mercy’s gaze never left her desk. “You know, if this
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