you
guys.”
“No problem,” Maia
says brightly. “We love you just as much.” She stands and leans
over to give me a brief but warm hug. “How are you guys doing?
Wedding date set yet?”
“No,” I say
hesitantly, before looking up to give the waitress my order. “You
guys may just beat us to it!”
“Not likely,”
Jackson says looking sweetly at Maia. “We’re happy like this for
now.”
Maia and Jackson talk
animatedly about Brown, about her charity work, and life in general.
I smile politely, and answer when required. But mostly, I stare down
absently at the table in front of us.
“Is everything okay,
Em? You don’t seem like yourself,” Maia observes softly.
I don’t really know
if I want to talk about this in front of Jackson. But like the
gentleman he is, he sees my hesitation and excuses himself to go to
the men’s room.
“Okay, now speak,”
Maia commands gently after he leaves. “Are you getting cold feet?”
“Did you ever feel
like Jackson was not the person you thought he was? Like before he
met you he had a whole other life, and not a good one?” I ask
cautiously.
“He did,” Maia
replies simply. “But there was never a minute that I didn’t truly
feel like he really loved me. Even in the moments where I didn’t
believe it myself. I see the way Blake looks at you. He clearly loves
you. But I get the sense that you’re a little unsure about you
guys.”
“I know he loves me,”
I say. “But there are just all these little things that I can’t
seem to explain away. Did you know he had a brother, who I met last
night? Apparently, they hate each other because of a girl. And his
mother said something weird about striking while the iron is hot, in
case he gets away. And his brother said something about him owning
the apartment we live in, when he told me that it was his mother’s.
And I swear to God, this morning I saw a new tattoo on his back, when
he told me he was working late. I’m pretty sure the hospital
doesn’t issue tattoos as part of their benefit package!”
I realized that my
voice had spiked at the end, and I had barely taken a breath. But
soon, it all comes pouring out. The status of Blake and my
relationship, which, two days ago was good, relegated to a few
speculative and angry sentences.
Maia doesn’t say
anything for a few minutes, letting me breathe. “Em, everything you
just said came from the mouth of someone else. Except for the tattoo
thing. Wait, Blake has other tattoos?”
It relieves me to hear
that Maia knows nothing about Blake’s tattoos. It means that they
never slept together. At least
he didn’t lie about that .
“Maybe you should ask
him,” she suggests. “Just come right out and ask.”
“And if I’m wrong?
Blake is all I have here. I have no family left at home, or anywhere
else, really. Without Blake, I truly am alone in this world.” A
single tear falls down my left cheek. I refuse to cry any further. I
just… refuse.
“And that’s why you
want to torture yourself, wondering?” Maia asks. “You have
friends. You have me, and Jackson. If Blake is lying to you, I
promise that you can rely on us. I won’t take his side if he hurts
you deliberately.”
Maia’s words warm me. And now I have Tyler .
The thought invades my mind without warning. I quickly flick it
aside. “Thank you,” I whisper, just as Jackson returns to the
table. The rest of lunch ambles along leisurely. I relax into their
company, so grateful for a down to earth conversation. No pomp or
arrogance or worrying about political correctness.
When it’s time to get
back to work, I reluctantly say goodbye to Maia and Jackson. Maia
gives me a fierce hug. “I’ll call you soon,” she whispers,
before they leave, hand in hand.
Chapter 7:
Blake
My left knee shakes
violently against the middle console of the car as I drive in to the
hospital. Emily’s questions unnerved me. The
tattoo, the apartment . It was too much of a coincidence to
come up all in
guys.”
“No problem,” Maia
says brightly. “We love you just as much.” She stands and leans
over to give me a brief but warm hug. “How are you guys doing?
Wedding date set yet?”
“No,” I say
hesitantly, before looking up to give the waitress my order. “You
guys may just beat us to it!”
“Not likely,”
Jackson says looking sweetly at Maia. “We’re happy like this for
now.”
Maia and Jackson talk
animatedly about Brown, about her charity work, and life in general.
I smile politely, and answer when required. But mostly, I stare down
absently at the table in front of us.
“Is everything okay,
Em? You don’t seem like yourself,” Maia observes softly.
I don’t really know
if I want to talk about this in front of Jackson. But like the
gentleman he is, he sees my hesitation and excuses himself to go to
the men’s room.
“Okay, now speak,”
Maia commands gently after he leaves. “Are you getting cold feet?”
“Did you ever feel
like Jackson was not the person you thought he was? Like before he
met you he had a whole other life, and not a good one?” I ask
cautiously.
“He did,” Maia
replies simply. “But there was never a minute that I didn’t truly
feel like he really loved me. Even in the moments where I didn’t
believe it myself. I see the way Blake looks at you. He clearly loves
you. But I get the sense that you’re a little unsure about you
guys.”
“I know he loves me,”
I say. “But there are just all these little things that I can’t
seem to explain away. Did you know he had a brother, who I met last
night? Apparently, they hate each other because of a girl. And his
mother said something weird about striking while the iron is hot, in
case he gets away. And his brother said something about him owning
the apartment we live in, when he told me that it was his mother’s.
And I swear to God, this morning I saw a new tattoo on his back, when
he told me he was working late. I’m pretty sure the hospital
doesn’t issue tattoos as part of their benefit package!”
I realized that my
voice had spiked at the end, and I had barely taken a breath. But
soon, it all comes pouring out. The status of Blake and my
relationship, which, two days ago was good, relegated to a few
speculative and angry sentences.
Maia doesn’t say
anything for a few minutes, letting me breathe. “Em, everything you
just said came from the mouth of someone else. Except for the tattoo
thing. Wait, Blake has other tattoos?”
It relieves me to hear
that Maia knows nothing about Blake’s tattoos. It means that they
never slept together. At least
he didn’t lie about that .
“Maybe you should ask
him,” she suggests. “Just come right out and ask.”
“And if I’m wrong?
Blake is all I have here. I have no family left at home, or anywhere
else, really. Without Blake, I truly am alone in this world.” A
single tear falls down my left cheek. I refuse to cry any further. I
just… refuse.
“And that’s why you
want to torture yourself, wondering?” Maia asks. “You have
friends. You have me, and Jackson. If Blake is lying to you, I
promise that you can rely on us. I won’t take his side if he hurts
you deliberately.”
Maia’s words warm me. And now I have Tyler .
The thought invades my mind without warning. I quickly flick it
aside. “Thank you,” I whisper, just as Jackson returns to the
table. The rest of lunch ambles along leisurely. I relax into their
company, so grateful for a down to earth conversation. No pomp or
arrogance or worrying about political correctness.
When it’s time to get
back to work, I reluctantly say goodbye to Maia and Jackson. Maia
gives me a fierce hug. “I’ll call you soon,” she whispers,
before they leave, hand in hand.
Chapter 7:
Blake
My left knee shakes
violently against the middle console of the car as I drive in to the
hospital. Emily’s questions unnerved me. The
tattoo, the apartment . It was too much of a coincidence to
come up all in
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