Searching for Beautiful by Nyrae Dawn Page B

me. Now, here’s Christian trying to pull me in, too.
    “No.” Shaking my head, I hope I look more confident than I feel. And as stupid and insane as it is, a part of me hopes he’ll insist. Or say that he’ll eat out here with me, but then I don’t want him to stay with me, either. Is it wrong to want someone to do something you won’t let them do?
    Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I don’t get a chance. Christian shrugs, turns, and they all walk away. They’re not five feet from me before they’re talking and he’s laughing again.
    …
    Like I do in every class where we get to choose our own seats, I head to the very back of my seventh-period Government and Law class. The seats start to fill up, though the ones by me, of course, people avoid. It’s a weird feeling, knowing people are avoiding me. That no one wants to even sit by me. I don’t get what they think will happen, but honestly, that doesn’t even matter. What matters is, it sucks.
    Have I ever treated someone like this? I rack my brain, but I can’t think of anyone. We’re not like those schools you hear about on TV. I don’t ever remember people getting teased or harassed. But did I ever pay attention to anyone being ignored? I wonder if this might be just as bad.
    My eyes keep finding the door, wondering who all will be in class with me, which I guess I would know if I didn’t skip the second half of yesterday. I’ve gotten pretty lucky so far. Ellie here, Diana there, but no classes with the two of them together. No classes with— My eyes snap away from the door. Ian, the one who hates me the most.
    The fist squeezing my insides loosens when Ian sits on the opposite side of the room from me. And then he shakes his head, rolls his eyes, like I’m a disappointment to him.
    I’m paying so much attention to Ian, I don’t notice someone step up to the desk beside me. Don’t hear the chair pull out. It’s not until Ian’s stare shifts from me, his eyes widening slightly, that I turn to see who it is.
    Christian Medina.
    “What’s up?” He nods his head once, like boys do sometimes. That confident “hi” thing a girl could never pull off.
    He’s dressed so differently from most of the other guys, in a pair of cargo pants, T-shirt with a long-sleeved shirt underneath it. I don’t know why I’m focusing on his clothes. Probably because it’s easier than looking at the rest of him, because Christian is even cuter than he was before.
    “Whew!” Mr. Powers slips into the classroom, saving me from replying. “Shh, don’t tell. I’m setting a bad example by being late to my own class on the second day. That kind of behavior shouldn’t happen until at least the second month.”
    Everyone in the classroom laughs, except for Christian and me. Almost like the way Ian did a minute ago, Christian shakes his head at me. This time, I feel like I really did disappoint someone.
    I didn’t even say hello.

Chapter Thirteen
    Before
    Rolling over in bed, I stretch. The second my arm comes into contact with something that hadn’t been there when I went to sleep, I remember what day it is.
    Christmas.
    My heart dances as I push up in bed and grab the box. My fingers rip at the wrapping paper, which has extra tape holding it down. Mom always does that, trying to make it harder for Dad and me to get into our packages.
    Green paper falls to the bed as I keep tearing into the shoebox-size gift. Once I see the box, I don’t have to open it to know what it is.
    My eyes actually tear a little, which I know is silly. Not many fifteen-year-olds would get so excited about a pair of bunny slippers.
    After pulling the lid off the box, I giggle when I see the pink slippers inside. They look just like—
    “Ah, so you got them.”
    Turning my head, I see Mom standing in my bedroom doorway.
    “This is an awesome memory gift, Mom.”
    Every Christmas we give one present called the memory gift. It can’t cost more than fifteen dollars and it has to be