cape.
I wore it.
In public.
No, we do not discuss these things.
Dad settled Mom on the blanket and then spread everything
around us, spoiling each of us. His girls.
I picked one of the flowers bending over the edge of our
blanket. I think they were one of the reasons Mom pushed for this house—a
natural garden painting the river’s edge.
“These flowers are going to be gorgeous. All the silt from
the last time the river flooded has really made the shores fertile.” Mom pulled
a buttercup from its cluster and held it under my chin. “Someone likes butter.”
I made a face, ignoring how both of them laughed.
My favorite part
of the new house was the rope swing over the river.
Before I could test it out, we had to move everything out of
the way, settle Mom in the lawn chair, and let Dad do the first string testing.
He bounced on the rope a couple times, putting all his weight into it. And
then, super fast, he ran at it, swinging out over the river.
Which would have been great if he’d
grabbed on high enough to not drag his feet through the water on the way back.
Finally he let me on. I hooked my feet over the thick knot
at the bottom and let him push me out and catch me back over and over. Mom held
up her fingers, giving us scores. She was worse than the America’s Top Model judges. That last one so didn’t deserve a three.
When I was done—okay, when Dad was tired of pushing me—we
flopped down at Mom’s feet and played I-spy with the clouds drifting by.
“So, Amy-girl.” My dad propped
himself up next to the lawn chair my mother was in. “There’s something your mom
and I need to talk to you about.”
I glanced from one to the other. They both looked worried.
I’d known it was too good to be true.
“Dad, I’m eleven, not stupid.” He rolled his neck to look up
at my mom while I waited. “Seriously, how much worse than moving here could it be ?”
“Your dad and I moved us here for a very specific reason.”
My mom shifted her hand to lay it on my father’s shoulder. “We want the next
couple months to be a great time for all of us. We wanted to slow things down
and just enjoy our family. There’s a good school here and we’re close to one of
the top hospitals.”
I’d argue with her on the school thing, but…
“Why do we need to be near a great hospital?” My gut
clenched like when you’re at the top of a roller coaster and your brain tells
you for one split second you’re going to fall off the track.
An edgy, grating sound escaped my dad and I shifted to look
at him. His eyes were glimmery and focused far off
over my shoulder.
“Amy, I’m sick.” My mom’s hand tightened on Dad’s shoulder
when he covered his eyes and let out something that sounded frighteningly like
a sob.
“Sick, like a really bad cold, right?” Right?
“No, honey. Sick like I’m not going
to get better and…” She gave me the saddest smile I’d ever seen. It hurt to
look at coming from my always sunny mother. “And I’m going to get worse. Pretty quickly.”
My dad really was crying now and I don’t know which scared
me worse.
“No, you’re not.” I mean, that didn’t even make sense.
“Yes, sweetie. I am.” She looked
healthy. I mean she’d been tired and stuff, but we’d just moved. And she was
sitting there, peaceful. Shouldn’t she be throwing stuff and screaming if she
was dying?
If she was leaving us?
How could she stand it? I couldn’t.
I jumped up, not sure where I was going, and ran. I ran down
our lane and over the bridge that kept us separated from the rest of town. I
don’t even remember which way I turned, I just ran like I’d find an escape. The sound of my Keds slapping on the
ground, the huffing of my breath, the too loud pounding of my heart pushing
everything else out of my head.
I’m not sure when I stopped. I ran until I had to walk and I
walked until my legs gave out. Someone called my dad and he came and got me.
Not one word about running out on the
I wore it.
In public.
No, we do not discuss these things.
Dad settled Mom on the blanket and then spread everything
around us, spoiling each of us. His girls.
I picked one of the flowers bending over the edge of our
blanket. I think they were one of the reasons Mom pushed for this house—a
natural garden painting the river’s edge.
“These flowers are going to be gorgeous. All the silt from
the last time the river flooded has really made the shores fertile.” Mom pulled
a buttercup from its cluster and held it under my chin. “Someone likes butter.”
I made a face, ignoring how both of them laughed.
My favorite part
of the new house was the rope swing over the river.
Before I could test it out, we had to move everything out of
the way, settle Mom in the lawn chair, and let Dad do the first string testing.
He bounced on the rope a couple times, putting all his weight into it. And
then, super fast, he ran at it, swinging out over the river.
Which would have been great if he’d
grabbed on high enough to not drag his feet through the water on the way back.
Finally he let me on. I hooked my feet over the thick knot
at the bottom and let him push me out and catch me back over and over. Mom held
up her fingers, giving us scores. She was worse than the America’s Top Model judges. That last one so didn’t deserve a three.
When I was done—okay, when Dad was tired of pushing me—we
flopped down at Mom’s feet and played I-spy with the clouds drifting by.
“So, Amy-girl.” My dad propped
himself up next to the lawn chair my mother was in. “There’s something your mom
and I need to talk to you about.”
I glanced from one to the other. They both looked worried.
I’d known it was too good to be true.
“Dad, I’m eleven, not stupid.” He rolled his neck to look up
at my mom while I waited. “Seriously, how much worse than moving here could it be ?”
“Your dad and I moved us here for a very specific reason.”
My mom shifted her hand to lay it on my father’s shoulder. “We want the next
couple months to be a great time for all of us. We wanted to slow things down
and just enjoy our family. There’s a good school here and we’re close to one of
the top hospitals.”
I’d argue with her on the school thing, but…
“Why do we need to be near a great hospital?” My gut
clenched like when you’re at the top of a roller coaster and your brain tells
you for one split second you’re going to fall off the track.
An edgy, grating sound escaped my dad and I shifted to look
at him. His eyes were glimmery and focused far off
over my shoulder.
“Amy, I’m sick.” My mom’s hand tightened on Dad’s shoulder
when he covered his eyes and let out something that sounded frighteningly like
a sob.
“Sick, like a really bad cold, right?” Right?
“No, honey. Sick like I’m not going
to get better and…” She gave me the saddest smile I’d ever seen. It hurt to
look at coming from my always sunny mother. “And I’m going to get worse. Pretty quickly.”
My dad really was crying now and I don’t know which scared
me worse.
“No, you’re not.” I mean, that didn’t even make sense.
“Yes, sweetie. I am.” She looked
healthy. I mean she’d been tired and stuff, but we’d just moved. And she was
sitting there, peaceful. Shouldn’t she be throwing stuff and screaming if she
was dying?
If she was leaving us?
How could she stand it? I couldn’t.
I jumped up, not sure where I was going, and ran. I ran down
our lane and over the bridge that kept us separated from the rest of town. I
don’t even remember which way I turned, I just ran like I’d find an escape. The sound of my Keds slapping on the
ground, the huffing of my breath, the too loud pounding of my heart pushing
everything else out of my head.
I’m not sure when I stopped. I ran until I had to walk and I
walked until my legs gave out. Someone called my dad and he came and got me.
Not one word about running out on the
Similar Books
