driving me bonkers! Anyway, it was useless leaving the note because Dr Trifle forgot. Or maybe he didn’t have time to look up the words. Never mind, I’ll get something yummy from the fridge.’
At dinnertime, the Trifles continued using their new words. Bit by bit they began to understand each other and there was less looking things up. Now the conversations were more like this one.
‘Are you aware of a disagreeable, even malodorous, sensation?’ Mrs Trifle asked. ‘The assault on my olfactory organ is giving me horripilation.’
‘I wholeheartedly concur,’ Dr Trifle answered. ‘Perhaps the hour has come for a canine cleansing.’
‘Hey, they’re talking about me again!’ Selby thought. ‘I got the canine-cleansing bit. They want to give me a bath. But what’s all this
olfactory
stuff and what is
horripilation
?! I don’t think that’s even a word!’
As soon as the Trifles were out of the house, Selby raced to the biggest dictionary he could find.
‘Okay, so Mrs Trifle says that I stink so much it makes her skin crawl,’ he said. ‘Hey, that’s a terrible thing to say! Oops (
sniff sniff
), maybe she’s right. All this looking things up is making me sweat. I’d better pop into the shower and freshen up.’
As the weeks went on, Selby got more and more used to big words.
‘I’m beginning to think in substantial lexical items. I mean big words,’ he said to himself. ‘And I’m beginning to like it.’
And everything would have been fine and dandy but then something happened.
It was the day that Mrs Trifle’s cousin was going to arrive. Dr Trifle was racing around cleaning up and Mrs Trifle was helping. But then she was called away.
‘Sorry, dear, I would continue to assist you were it not that my presence is urgently required elsewhere. Would you be so kind as to extinguish the culinary apparatus and remove the confection from its receptacle?’
‘Um, yes, certainly,’ Dr Trifle mumbled as he changed the sheets on the spare bed.
Mrs Trifle raced out of the house and a little later Dr Trifle did the same, leaving Selby alone.
‘I think he forgot to do what Mrs Trifle asked him to do,’ Selby thought. ‘I’d better do it. What was it now? Something about giving a distinguished rat to a receptionist? No, that doesn’t sound right.’
One by one, Selby remembered the words and looked them up in the dictionary. He was concentrating so hard that he didn’t see the smoke in the kitchen.
‘I’ve got it,’ Selby thought. ‘She wanted him to take the cake out of the oven. That’s easy. I can do that. Hmmm, what’s that malodorous sensation?’
Selby looked around at the smoke that was now filling the loungeroom and saw flames shooting out of the oven.
‘Oh, no!’ he screamed. ‘I’ve got to ring Triple 0!’
Selby grabbed the phone and pushed the numbers.
‘Triple 0,’ a voice sang out. ‘How may I help you?’
‘There’s an enormous conflagration!’ Selby yelled.
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘A combustible confection has ignited!’
‘You’re delighted?’
‘No, I’m not
delighted
! I said
ignited
!’
‘You’re on fire, is that it?’
‘No, it’s not me! There’s inflammation of great intensity in our area of food preparation!’
‘Inflammation? So you want me to send an ambulance?’
‘No, not an ambulance! Please dispatch some officers to extinguish the conflagration!’
‘Officers? Okay, I’ll send the cops.’
‘No, no, you don’t understand! We’re in a state of dire emergency here on Lamington Drive and —’
`
‘Lamington Drive? Wait. We just got a call from one of your neighbours. Apparently there’s smoke pouring out of your house.’
‘That’s right!’
‘Get out of the house and stay calm. The Fire Department is on its way.’
In seconds the firefighters were there putting out the flames. Moments afterwards, the Trifles both arrived.
‘I told you to take the cake out of the oven!’ Mrs Trifle said, going back to
At dinnertime, the Trifles continued using their new words. Bit by bit they began to understand each other and there was less looking things up. Now the conversations were more like this one.
‘Are you aware of a disagreeable, even malodorous, sensation?’ Mrs Trifle asked. ‘The assault on my olfactory organ is giving me horripilation.’
‘I wholeheartedly concur,’ Dr Trifle answered. ‘Perhaps the hour has come for a canine cleansing.’
‘Hey, they’re talking about me again!’ Selby thought. ‘I got the canine-cleansing bit. They want to give me a bath. But what’s all this
olfactory
stuff and what is
horripilation
?! I don’t think that’s even a word!’
As soon as the Trifles were out of the house, Selby raced to the biggest dictionary he could find.
‘Okay, so Mrs Trifle says that I stink so much it makes her skin crawl,’ he said. ‘Hey, that’s a terrible thing to say! Oops (
sniff sniff
), maybe she’s right. All this looking things up is making me sweat. I’d better pop into the shower and freshen up.’
As the weeks went on, Selby got more and more used to big words.
‘I’m beginning to think in substantial lexical items. I mean big words,’ he said to himself. ‘And I’m beginning to like it.’
And everything would have been fine and dandy but then something happened.
It was the day that Mrs Trifle’s cousin was going to arrive. Dr Trifle was racing around cleaning up and Mrs Trifle was helping. But then she was called away.
‘Sorry, dear, I would continue to assist you were it not that my presence is urgently required elsewhere. Would you be so kind as to extinguish the culinary apparatus and remove the confection from its receptacle?’
‘Um, yes, certainly,’ Dr Trifle mumbled as he changed the sheets on the spare bed.
Mrs Trifle raced out of the house and a little later Dr Trifle did the same, leaving Selby alone.
‘I think he forgot to do what Mrs Trifle asked him to do,’ Selby thought. ‘I’d better do it. What was it now? Something about giving a distinguished rat to a receptionist? No, that doesn’t sound right.’
One by one, Selby remembered the words and looked them up in the dictionary. He was concentrating so hard that he didn’t see the smoke in the kitchen.
‘I’ve got it,’ Selby thought. ‘She wanted him to take the cake out of the oven. That’s easy. I can do that. Hmmm, what’s that malodorous sensation?’
Selby looked around at the smoke that was now filling the loungeroom and saw flames shooting out of the oven.
‘Oh, no!’ he screamed. ‘I’ve got to ring Triple 0!’
Selby grabbed the phone and pushed the numbers.
‘Triple 0,’ a voice sang out. ‘How may I help you?’
‘There’s an enormous conflagration!’ Selby yelled.
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘A combustible confection has ignited!’
‘You’re delighted?’
‘No, I’m not
delighted
! I said
ignited
!’
‘You’re on fire, is that it?’
‘No, it’s not me! There’s inflammation of great intensity in our area of food preparation!’
‘Inflammation? So you want me to send an ambulance?’
‘No, not an ambulance! Please dispatch some officers to extinguish the conflagration!’
‘Officers? Okay, I’ll send the cops.’
‘No, no, you don’t understand! We’re in a state of dire emergency here on Lamington Drive and —’
`
‘Lamington Drive? Wait. We just got a call from one of your neighbours. Apparently there’s smoke pouring out of your house.’
‘That’s right!’
‘Get out of the house and stay calm. The Fire Department is on its way.’
In seconds the firefighters were there putting out the flames. Moments afterwards, the Trifles both arrived.
‘I told you to take the cake out of the oven!’ Mrs Trifle said, going back to
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