seems to have vanished into thin air. Oh, well, I don’t think it was important. She just seemed to want to apologise for being so pushy.’
‘And, no doubt, for being so wrong about poor old Selby,’ Mrs Trifle said, cuddling him. ‘Hmmm, I wonder how his paws got so wet.’
‘That’s strange,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘It hasn’t been raining. Hmmm, it’s almost as if he’s washed them himself. Can you imagine that?’
‘I can imagine that,’ thought Selby. ‘But there are a lot of things about me that you could never imagine!’
SELBY FLIPS
Something very strange and terrible had happened and Selby didn’t know why. All he knew was that his mind was numb and his fur had gone a bit curly at the ends. He couldn’t remember what had happened earlier that day. In fact he couldn’t even remember what had happened only minutes before.
That’s when the telephone rang and Selby, without thinking, picked it up and said, ‘Hello.’
Even before the ‘o’ part of ‘Hello’ was out of his mouth the shock hit him.
‘Oh, no! I’ve given away my secret!’ he thought. ‘Why did I do that? But wait. No one can see me so they don’t know it’s me.’
Selby was about to put the phone down when the voice at the other end said, ‘Is that you, Selby?’
‘Gulp,’ Selby gulped. ‘He knows who I am! He’s watching me!’
Selby looked around.
‘He can’t be watching me,’ Selby thought. ‘There’s no one here but me.’
Selby’s brain started slowly to unnumb. He remembered the TV program he’d been watching only minutes before. There was a dog reading the news. At first Selby thought it had been a new comedy program but there was nothing funny about it. There was a war. There were farmers struggling against a drought, a huge bushfire, and a story about a famous dog in a wheelchair talking about parallel universes.
‘Hey, hold the show,’ Selby had thought. ‘Everyone on the news is … is a
dog!
There are soldier dogs, farmer dogs, dogs whose houses burnt down, and a dog-genius.’
That was when the phone had rung …
‘Selby? Can you hear me?’ the voice said. ‘Are you there?’
Selby stood there not knowing what to say.
‘Trifle residence, Dr Trifle speaking,’ he said, suddenly sliding into his Dr Trifle voice.
‘This is no time for jokes, Selby,’ the voice answered.
‘There’s only one person who knows the real sound of my voice,’ Selby thought.
‘Duncan?’ he said. ‘It’s you, isn’t it?’
‘Duncan?’ the voice asked. ‘Who’s Duncan?’
‘Of course it can’t be Duncan,’ Selby thought. ‘He doesn’t know the Trifles’ telephone number. He doesn’t even know where I live. In fact, this guy just called me
Selby
— my real name. Duncan doesn’t know my real name. He thinks it’s
Selby
because that’s what I always tell him.’
‘Who is this speaking?’ Selby asked finally.
‘It’s Hamish.’
‘Hamish?’ Selby thought. ‘The only Hamish I know is that dopey sheepdog in the house behind here. It can’t possibly be him.’
‘Have you forgotten the emergency meeting of the council?’ Hamish asked.
‘Council? Emergency meeting?’ Selby asked.
‘We’re about to vote on that new leash law. You should be here. You are the mayor, after all.’
‘I’m not the mayor. Mrs Trifle is.’
‘Selby, this is serious. We’re waiting. Hop in your car and get yourself down here. We need a decision straight-away.’
Click.
Selby sat there in a daze. What was happening? Who is Hamish? How could anyone ever think that
he
was the mayor of Bogusville?
‘Me
drive a car?’ Selby said aloud. ‘Did he tell me to
drive
there? Is this a dream?’
Selby found himself opening the front door. Outside Dr and Mrs Trifle were sitting under a tree. When they saw him they jumped to their feet and came running. They jumped back and forth in front of Selby with their tongues hanging out.
‘They’re making fun of me,’ Selby thought. ‘No, hang on.
‘And, no doubt, for being so wrong about poor old Selby,’ Mrs Trifle said, cuddling him. ‘Hmmm, I wonder how his paws got so wet.’
‘That’s strange,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘It hasn’t been raining. Hmmm, it’s almost as if he’s washed them himself. Can you imagine that?’
‘I can imagine that,’ thought Selby. ‘But there are a lot of things about me that you could never imagine!’
SELBY FLIPS
Something very strange and terrible had happened and Selby didn’t know why. All he knew was that his mind was numb and his fur had gone a bit curly at the ends. He couldn’t remember what had happened earlier that day. In fact he couldn’t even remember what had happened only minutes before.
That’s when the telephone rang and Selby, without thinking, picked it up and said, ‘Hello.’
Even before the ‘o’ part of ‘Hello’ was out of his mouth the shock hit him.
‘Oh, no! I’ve given away my secret!’ he thought. ‘Why did I do that? But wait. No one can see me so they don’t know it’s me.’
Selby was about to put the phone down when the voice at the other end said, ‘Is that you, Selby?’
‘Gulp,’ Selby gulped. ‘He knows who I am! He’s watching me!’
Selby looked around.
‘He can’t be watching me,’ Selby thought. ‘There’s no one here but me.’
Selby’s brain started slowly to unnumb. He remembered the TV program he’d been watching only minutes before. There was a dog reading the news. At first Selby thought it had been a new comedy program but there was nothing funny about it. There was a war. There were farmers struggling against a drought, a huge bushfire, and a story about a famous dog in a wheelchair talking about parallel universes.
‘Hey, hold the show,’ Selby had thought. ‘Everyone on the news is … is a
dog!
There are soldier dogs, farmer dogs, dogs whose houses burnt down, and a dog-genius.’
That was when the phone had rung …
‘Selby? Can you hear me?’ the voice said. ‘Are you there?’
Selby stood there not knowing what to say.
‘Trifle residence, Dr Trifle speaking,’ he said, suddenly sliding into his Dr Trifle voice.
‘This is no time for jokes, Selby,’ the voice answered.
‘There’s only one person who knows the real sound of my voice,’ Selby thought.
‘Duncan?’ he said. ‘It’s you, isn’t it?’
‘Duncan?’ the voice asked. ‘Who’s Duncan?’
‘Of course it can’t be Duncan,’ Selby thought. ‘He doesn’t know the Trifles’ telephone number. He doesn’t even know where I live. In fact, this guy just called me
Selby
— my real name. Duncan doesn’t know my real name. He thinks it’s
Selby
because that’s what I always tell him.’
‘Who is this speaking?’ Selby asked finally.
‘It’s Hamish.’
‘Hamish?’ Selby thought. ‘The only Hamish I know is that dopey sheepdog in the house behind here. It can’t possibly be him.’
‘Have you forgotten the emergency meeting of the council?’ Hamish asked.
‘Council? Emergency meeting?’ Selby asked.
‘We’re about to vote on that new leash law. You should be here. You are the mayor, after all.’
‘I’m not the mayor. Mrs Trifle is.’
‘Selby, this is serious. We’re waiting. Hop in your car and get yourself down here. We need a decision straight-away.’
Click.
Selby sat there in a daze. What was happening? Who is Hamish? How could anyone ever think that
he
was the mayor of Bogusville?
‘Me
drive a car?’ Selby said aloud. ‘Did he tell me to
drive
there? Is this a dream?’
Selby found himself opening the front door. Outside Dr and Mrs Trifle were sitting under a tree. When they saw him they jumped to their feet and came running. They jumped back and forth in front of Selby with their tongues hanging out.
‘They’re making fun of me,’ Selby thought. ‘No, hang on.
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