They’re rehearsing for a play. It’s one of those plays where they have to pretend to be dogs.’
Selby started walking towards the street but Mrs Trifle blocked his path. She dropped to her knees and started licking his face.
‘Stop it!’ Selby said out loud.
‘Oh, no! I talked again!’ Selby thought. ‘I couldn’t help it. And this time they actually saw me talking!’
The Trifles stopped jumping about and looked at him.
‘Okay, it’s true,’ Selby sighed. ‘I never ever in a million years thought it would happen like this. For years I’ve kept it a secret and then you pretend to be dogs and,
ooops
out it comes.’
Dr and Mrs Trifle frowned and tipped their heads from side to side.
‘As you can hear,’ Selby said, ‘I can talk. Don’t ask me how it happened because I really don’t understand it myself. You’re shocked, aren’t you?’
Dr Trifle looked at Selby.
‘
Woof
he said.
‘You can stop rehearsing now,’ Selby said.
‘Woof!
Woof! Woof!
Mrs Trifle barked, wiggling her bottom back and forth. ‘Woof! Woof!’
‘You’re not kidding,’ Selby said. ‘You really think you’re dogs! Have I gone completely bonkers?’
Somewhere in the back of Selby’s mind and slowly making its way forward was Dr Trifle’s PPR — his Potato Peel Replacer. He remembered the strange invention sitting on the floor of the workroom. And he remembered leaning over to look down into it.
But that’s all he could remember. Suddenly he snapped back to the present.
‘If I’m the mayor of Bogusville,’ he thought, ‘I’d better get down to the Council Chambers. I wonder if I
can
drive a car.’
Selby opened the car door and Dr and Mrs Trifle jumped in.
‘No, get out,’ Selby said. ‘Come on, out! Okay, suit yourself,’ Selby said, starting the car and backing out of the driveway. ‘Hey! I’m actually driving a car!’
Selby tore along the streets of Bogusville to the Council Chambers. He opened the door to get out but Dr and Mrs Trifle jumped over him and were on the footpath before him.
Inside, seated at a long table, was Hamish the sheepdog along with a number of other dogs that he’d seen around Bogusville. The chairs inthe audience were filled with dogs all chattering away in plain English.
‘Thank goodness you’re here,’ Hamish said to Selby. ‘Things are getting very heated.’
‘But — but, it
is
you!’ Selby said. ‘And you’re a talking dog, too. Have you known how to talk all along and been keeping it a secret?’
Hamish just looked at Selby.
‘Mr Mayor, will you please be serious?’ Hamish said.
‘But I have to talk to you about something important.’
‘Later. We have to talk about this leash law first.’
‘Leash law?’ Selby said. ‘Is this making us keep our pets, I mean, our
people,
on leashes all the time the way they do in the city?’
‘That’s right!’ a voice from the front row of the audience boomed. ‘We need a leash law!’
‘And who are you?’ Selby asked.
‘You know perfectly well who I am, Mr Mayor,’ the dog said. ‘I’m Biff, the Chief of Police.’
‘But what about Sergeant Short and Constable Long?’ Selby said.
‘Don’t you worry about them,’ Biff said. ‘I keep them on leashes whenever I take them out of the police station. And when they do their business, I clean up after them.’
‘But that’s crazy,’ Selby said. ‘I just roam around on my own and do my business wherever I want.’
The hall burst into laughter. All the dogs were laughing and pointing at Selby.
‘What’s so funny?’
Hamish leant over and whispered in Selby’s ear.
‘I think you meant to say that your
people
do their business wherever they want,’ he said. ‘You said that
you
did.’
‘Mr Mayor,’ Biff said, ‘if we could be serious for a moment, I’d just like to say that we need a leash law in this town and we need it now!’
The whole audience burst into applause.
‘Now hang on,’ Selby said. ‘I’m the mayor of this
Selby started walking towards the street but Mrs Trifle blocked his path. She dropped to her knees and started licking his face.
‘Stop it!’ Selby said out loud.
‘Oh, no! I talked again!’ Selby thought. ‘I couldn’t help it. And this time they actually saw me talking!’
The Trifles stopped jumping about and looked at him.
‘Okay, it’s true,’ Selby sighed. ‘I never ever in a million years thought it would happen like this. For years I’ve kept it a secret and then you pretend to be dogs and,
ooops
out it comes.’
Dr and Mrs Trifle frowned and tipped their heads from side to side.
‘As you can hear,’ Selby said, ‘I can talk. Don’t ask me how it happened because I really don’t understand it myself. You’re shocked, aren’t you?’
Dr Trifle looked at Selby.
‘
Woof
he said.
‘You can stop rehearsing now,’ Selby said.
‘Woof!
Woof! Woof!
Mrs Trifle barked, wiggling her bottom back and forth. ‘Woof! Woof!’
‘You’re not kidding,’ Selby said. ‘You really think you’re dogs! Have I gone completely bonkers?’
Somewhere in the back of Selby’s mind and slowly making its way forward was Dr Trifle’s PPR — his Potato Peel Replacer. He remembered the strange invention sitting on the floor of the workroom. And he remembered leaning over to look down into it.
But that’s all he could remember. Suddenly he snapped back to the present.
‘If I’m the mayor of Bogusville,’ he thought, ‘I’d better get down to the Council Chambers. I wonder if I
can
drive a car.’
Selby opened the car door and Dr and Mrs Trifle jumped in.
‘No, get out,’ Selby said. ‘Come on, out! Okay, suit yourself,’ Selby said, starting the car and backing out of the driveway. ‘Hey! I’m actually driving a car!’
Selby tore along the streets of Bogusville to the Council Chambers. He opened the door to get out but Dr and Mrs Trifle jumped over him and were on the footpath before him.
Inside, seated at a long table, was Hamish the sheepdog along with a number of other dogs that he’d seen around Bogusville. The chairs inthe audience were filled with dogs all chattering away in plain English.
‘Thank goodness you’re here,’ Hamish said to Selby. ‘Things are getting very heated.’
‘But — but, it
is
you!’ Selby said. ‘And you’re a talking dog, too. Have you known how to talk all along and been keeping it a secret?’
Hamish just looked at Selby.
‘Mr Mayor, will you please be serious?’ Hamish said.
‘But I have to talk to you about something important.’
‘Later. We have to talk about this leash law first.’
‘Leash law?’ Selby said. ‘Is this making us keep our pets, I mean, our
people,
on leashes all the time the way they do in the city?’
‘That’s right!’ a voice from the front row of the audience boomed. ‘We need a leash law!’
‘And who are you?’ Selby asked.
‘You know perfectly well who I am, Mr Mayor,’ the dog said. ‘I’m Biff, the Chief of Police.’
‘But what about Sergeant Short and Constable Long?’ Selby said.
‘Don’t you worry about them,’ Biff said. ‘I keep them on leashes whenever I take them out of the police station. And when they do their business, I clean up after them.’
‘But that’s crazy,’ Selby said. ‘I just roam around on my own and do my business wherever I want.’
The hall burst into laughter. All the dogs were laughing and pointing at Selby.
‘What’s so funny?’
Hamish leant over and whispered in Selby’s ear.
‘I think you meant to say that your
people
do their business wherever they want,’ he said. ‘You said that
you
did.’
‘Mr Mayor,’ Biff said, ‘if we could be serious for a moment, I’d just like to say that we need a leash law in this town and we need it now!’
The whole audience burst into applause.
‘Now hang on,’ Selby said. ‘I’m the mayor of this
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