Selby Supersnoop by Duncan Ball

said. ‘Why don’t they call it Morning Rose or Evening Daffodil — something that smells like something?’
    ‘These days perfumes have much more interesting names like Quest, and React, and Lightning, and Composure. The names have nothing to do with the smell anymore.’
    ‘If you ask me, I think it’s all very silly,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘People should spend their money on more useful things.’
    ‘It’s really just a bit of fun,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘And I’m kind of looking forward to going.’
    ‘Well, I reckon it isn’t that difficult to make perfumes,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘I’ll bet I could whip up a lovely fragrance in no time.’
    ‘I think you’ll find that it’s not that easy.’
    ‘We’ll see about that,’ Dr Trifle said, heading for his workroom.
    ‘Perfumes,’ Selby thought. ‘I don’t understand them. Why can’t people just smell like people? Why do they waste so much money trying to smell like something else? I mean, I’m a dog and I smell like a dog. What’s wrong with that?’
    For the next few days the most revolting smells drifted out of Dr Trifle’s workroom. Finally, Dr Trifle appeared, smiling, and holding three small bottles.
    ‘Ta-da!’ he sang. ‘The House of Trifle is proud to bring you Smell-O-Scents, a new concept in perfumes.’
    ‘A new concept?’ Mrs Trifle said, very suspiciously. ‘What are you talking about?’
    ‘The thing about ordinary perfumes,’ Dr Trifle said, ‘is that they usually just smell nice. They have the scent of roses, or jasmine, or camellias.’
    ‘What do yours smell like?’
    ‘My Smell-O-Scents don’t smell like any one thing. They remind you of places — tropical islands, mountain peaks, rivers. They don’t just cover up people smells.’
    ‘I’m not sure I’d know the smell of a tropical island if I sniffed one,’ Mrs Trifle said.
    ‘That’s because they don’t have just one smell. They have lots of smells all together. Some of the smells are horrible and some are nice. When you mix them together in the right amounts something wonderful happens.’
    ‘Are you talking about scents? Or are you talking non-scents?’ Mrs Trifle laughed. ‘Get it? Scents? Nonsense?’
    ‘Yes, very funny, dear,’ Dr Trifle said, holding up one of his bottles. ‘But have a whiff of this.’
    Mrs Trifle sniffed it and suddenly a smile spread across her lips.
    ‘Mmmmmmm,’ she said. ‘That’s very interesting. It reminds me of something.’
    ‘What?’ Dr Trifle asked eagerly.
    ‘Rafting down a river.’
    ‘Smell-O-Stream,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘That’s what I’ve named it. You see, it works!’
    By now Selby had made his way quietly up to Mrs Trifle’s side and had sneaked a secret sniff.
    ‘Crikey!’ he thought. ‘It’s true! It reminds me of wild rivers and forests. Dr Trifle is very clever.’
    ‘Here, try another one,’ Dr Trifle said.
    Mrs Trifle dabbed a drop of the next perfume on her wrist and sniffed it.
    ‘Deserts,’ she said. ‘Dry, wind-swept places. Red rocks with bits of blue grass growing between them. And lots of sand.’
    ‘She’s right,’ Selby thought. ‘That’s what it reminds me of too!’
    ‘Smell-O-Sand,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘And now try this one.’
    ‘Tropical islands come to mind,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘That’s the best one.’
    ‘Smell-O-Surf,’ Dr Trifle said proudly.
    Selby put his nose close to the bottle and drew a deep breath and closed his eyes.
    ‘I feel like I’m lying on a yacht,’ he thought, ‘anchored off palm-covered islands. People are bringing me plates of delicious food. Dr Trifle isn’t just clever — he’s a genius! These Smell—0- Scents are fantastic!’
    ‘Goodness, look at Selby,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘I think he likes that one. I guess we’ll never know what it reminds him of.’
    ‘I’d better get back to work on Smell-O-Snow, my mountain perfume,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘But I think I’ll take a bottle of the Smell-O-Surf along to the launch tonight to