turned toward me with such fury in his face and pain in his eyes I screamed and flew out of the kitchen and up those stairs. I tore at my outfit like it was on fire. I ignored all the ripping sounds and just kept tearing until it was all off. I heard someone on the stairs and I slammed my door and screamed some more. I screamed while I scraped the comb through my hair and screamed when I saw big clumps of my hair dropping to the dresser. I screamed into my bra and I screamed into last year's sundress with the daisies on it. I screamed into my stockings and screamed when I shredded the left side of the stockings with one of my fingernails and had to take them off. I pulled on the first pair of socks I could find, not caring even if they matched so long as my shoes didn't pinch. Then, feeling dressed to Daddy's satisfaction, I opened my door, ran past someone in the hall, screamed down the stairs and out the side door.
7
I didn't stop running until I reached the graveyard that lay between our house and the church. My whole body was still shaking and my throat hurt from all my screaming. I set down on the grass and leaned against one of the gravestones. I thought maybe I'd just stay out there forever, maybe just melt into the ground next to one of the dead people. I couldn't stop crying.
"Is that just you. Charity?" I heard Boo whisper from somewhere behind me.
I jumped up and spun around, looking for him while I answered. "Well, who do you think it is, some ghost? Where are you? Grace? Boo?"
Boo stepped out from behind a huge block of granite. Grace stepped out behind him.
"We thought maybe it was the reverend," Grace said.
"The reverend? Does Daddy know you're calling him that?" I wiped the tears off my face.
Grace didn't answer.
I turned on Boo, who stood there looking like a ghost himself in all his baldness. The boy didn't have a hair on his body. Miss Tuney Mae claimed it was because his mama had had some awful fright when he was still in her womb and it caused the both of them to lose their hair; only difference was she got to wear a wig.
"Law, Boo, don't be creeping up on me like that, you hear? Anyway, what are you two up to? I thought you were supposed to be out on the porch, shelling peas."
"We were just wondering what's wrong with the reverend," Boo said.
"Nothing. What do you mean, what's wrong?"
Boo's eyes sort of rolled around in his head a few times, and then he said, "Why was he so angry? You were screaming. Did he beat you?"
I looked at Grace. "'Course not. I swanee, Grace, don't you set him straight on anything?"
Grace just shrugged. "We were scared," she said.
"What are you two inventing now? Calling Daddy the reverend and then thinking he's in there beating me up. Lordy-loo, Grace, you ought to know better."
"I've never seen him so angry," Grace muttered. "We saw through the window. We were scared."
"What was he so mad about?" Boo asked again.
"I don't know. I don't knowâmaybe 'cause Mama's gone, or maybe he didn't like what I had on, or maybe it was that Jesus chair thing, I don't know. Does there have to be a reason anymore? Seems to me that lately he's just angry to be angry. Law, what I wouldn't give to be with Mama right nowâto be anywhere but here."
I turned away from them, walking out of the cemetery and the yard and down the road toward the cornfields. Grace and Boo followed behind me like spies. I walked faster, feeling the sweat on my forehead and under my arms building up to a couple of good trickles. The two of them trotted up alongside of me. I didn't say anything to them and they didn't seem to expect me to, so we marched on in silence, stomping around the cornfields and down the street. I heard a train hooting down the tracks that cut across the road about a half mile away, and its call made something inside me squeeze until I thought I wouldn't be able to take another breath.
Then Grace poked my shoulder and said, "Look, there's Mad Joe."
Sure enough, there he
7
I didn't stop running until I reached the graveyard that lay between our house and the church. My whole body was still shaking and my throat hurt from all my screaming. I set down on the grass and leaned against one of the gravestones. I thought maybe I'd just stay out there forever, maybe just melt into the ground next to one of the dead people. I couldn't stop crying.
"Is that just you. Charity?" I heard Boo whisper from somewhere behind me.
I jumped up and spun around, looking for him while I answered. "Well, who do you think it is, some ghost? Where are you? Grace? Boo?"
Boo stepped out from behind a huge block of granite. Grace stepped out behind him.
"We thought maybe it was the reverend," Grace said.
"The reverend? Does Daddy know you're calling him that?" I wiped the tears off my face.
Grace didn't answer.
I turned on Boo, who stood there looking like a ghost himself in all his baldness. The boy didn't have a hair on his body. Miss Tuney Mae claimed it was because his mama had had some awful fright when he was still in her womb and it caused the both of them to lose their hair; only difference was she got to wear a wig.
"Law, Boo, don't be creeping up on me like that, you hear? Anyway, what are you two up to? I thought you were supposed to be out on the porch, shelling peas."
"We were just wondering what's wrong with the reverend," Boo said.
"Nothing. What do you mean, what's wrong?"
Boo's eyes sort of rolled around in his head a few times, and then he said, "Why was he so angry? You were screaming. Did he beat you?"
I looked at Grace. "'Course not. I swanee, Grace, don't you set him straight on anything?"
Grace just shrugged. "We were scared," she said.
"What are you two inventing now? Calling Daddy the reverend and then thinking he's in there beating me up. Lordy-loo, Grace, you ought to know better."
"I've never seen him so angry," Grace muttered. "We saw through the window. We were scared."
"What was he so mad about?" Boo asked again.
"I don't know. I don't knowâmaybe 'cause Mama's gone, or maybe he didn't like what I had on, or maybe it was that Jesus chair thing, I don't know. Does there have to be a reason anymore? Seems to me that lately he's just angry to be angry. Law, what I wouldn't give to be with Mama right nowâto be anywhere but here."
I turned away from them, walking out of the cemetery and the yard and down the road toward the cornfields. Grace and Boo followed behind me like spies. I walked faster, feeling the sweat on my forehead and under my arms building up to a couple of good trickles. The two of them trotted up alongside of me. I didn't say anything to them and they didn't seem to expect me to, so we marched on in silence, stomping around the cornfields and down the street. I heard a train hooting down the tracks that cut across the road about a half mile away, and its call made something inside me squeeze until I thought I wouldn't be able to take another breath.
Then Grace poked my shoulder and said, "Look, there's Mad Joe."
Sure enough, there he
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