Septimity and The Blood Brotherhood: The Third Hilarious Glothic Tale (The Glothic Tales Book 3) by Derek Haines

The Supreme Potentate of the Gloth and its Twelve Sun Systems,’ she said as if dreaming. Which she must have been as she still hadn’t noticed that Kcaapaak’s grip on April’s neck was still firmly in place and April’s face was taking on a light blue tinge due to his inability to breathe.
    ‘Right young sir. Almost time for dinner,’ Kcaapaak said as he slowly released his hold and April leapt from the stool and ran to his mother. Still unable to speak through his coughing and spluttering as he tried to regain his ability to breathe once again.
    ‘Good evening m’am,’ Sone said with relief as January and April left the room and decided a goodbye to April would be a wasted gesture. Once the door closed he started to tidy his things. ‘I don’t know how you do it Kcrikklli.’
    ‘Nor do I Sone.’
    ‘At least I don’t have to attend the monster’s investiture.’
    ‘Thank you for reminding me of that. Something I am indeed dreading.’
    ‘Suppose it will be difficult to keep him in a choke hold for two hours.’
    ‘Now there’s a pleasant thought Sone.’
    ‘Yes. Choked to death before he can be sworn in.’
    ‘An even more pleasant thought.’

Ready Or Not
    April the First was neither a date nor a title that many were looking forward to. Unhappily for those, the day arrived and almost fittingly was a typical early April day. Wet, cold, windy and lamentably miserable. For others, this was truly a day to get excited about and no amount of wind and rain was going to spoil it.
    ‘I could get used to this,’ Sep said with a big smile as he reclined his enormous leather seat in Luxury Class aboard their commandeered Cosmic Cruiser. ‘And see, there was no panic at all. Two days was plenty of time in the end. Lieutenant Commander Smikkle told me that it would’ve taken three days if this was the original version Cosmic Cruiser. But this new model is equipped with the latest protection shields that allows it to travel at a much higher velocity, therefore it can navig……’
    ‘Oh shut up Sep, I get the idea. Just a pity really.’
    ‘What is?’
    ‘Luxury Class is much better with silver service and Fozzoxly,’ September grunted.
    ‘What’s that?’
    ‘Chilled Fozzoxly is something akin to champagne but so much better.’
    ‘I’ve never heard of it.’
    ‘It’s made from the fermented liquid contents of the man eating Oxlypyriad flower found only on the planet Sckidd.’
    ‘Maybe another time then,’ Sep said, not really understanding what September was talking about.
    ‘Have you checked with commander what’s his name about our arrival time?’
    ‘Lieutenant Commander Smikkle.’
    ‘Whatever his name is. Have you checked?’
    ‘When we boarded he told me we were on schedule.’
    ‘That was hours ago. Go and check with him again.’
    ‘Yes September,’ Sep said as he un-reclined his chair reluctantly. After a moment’s hesitation, he trod off in the direction of the flight deck. A full twenty-minute walk if he was energetic, which he wasn’t, so it was a good thirty minutes before he knocked on the flight deck door.
    ‘Come in,’ he heard.
    ‘All comfortable there in Luxury Class?’ Stikkly Smikkle asked as Sep stepped in.
    ‘Eh, yes. Yes, very nice. Look, it’s just that September is getting a little anxious about our arrival time. He asked me to check with you again. Sorry.’
    ‘Well reassure him that we are on schedule for Gloth orbit at oh-ten hundred hours.’
    ‘Um. Ten o’clock?’
    ‘Correct. By the way, this is my co-pilot Flight Leader Flipply Dripple.
    ‘Nice to meet you.’
    ‘Yes, nice to meet you too sir. I hope you have a pleasant flight.’
    ‘Have you met the other passengers yet?’ Smikkle asked.
    ‘Other passengers? I didn’t know……’
    ‘The Lacertilian Guards. There are four squads in economy.’
    ‘Oh yes, sorry. I’d forgotten all about them. Silly me. I just don’t know what goes through my head sometimes.’
    ‘Oh don’t worry.