We wanted to make sure you were okay,” she said, handing them over.
“Come in. I'll get some bowls.” Ari pointed them towards the lounge where Nevaeh sat waiting.
Their company halted any further talk of strangers.
*****
In the days following the funeral, Ari kept to herself. She often found herself telling people she couldn't go out because she had to swat for the end of year exams. Her excuse to be alone, nothing more. It was hard enough dealing with her own grief. She couldn’t face being barraged by the grief of others as well. Two weeks on and that hadn’t changed. It was becoming uncomfortable turning down invitations, so much so that she had started ignoring text messages too. Unlike her other friends, Nevaeh ignored her requests for solitude and visited from time to time, just to check she was all right.
Nevaeh had turned up five minutes ago, uninvited, and sat, cup of tea in hand, at Ari’s dinner table.
“I still miss him, Nevaeh,” Ari said.
“I know hon. We all thought you and Luke would get together one day.”
Ari hadn’t told anyone about their kiss. It was her memory. She would never tell anyone; she would never let anyone taint it.
“You need to get back out in the real world,” Nevaeh said.
“I know.”
“Well, get moving. We’re going out.”
“What? No.”
“Ari,” Nevaeh warned, “get off your butt and get your wallet, we’re going out for lunch.”
Ari’s mum appeared around the corner clutching her purse. She delved in and pulled out a couple of $20 notes.
“My shout,” she said, handing them to Nevaeh.
“Were you in the hallway listening?” Ari asked her mum.
“I was coming to make a drink for your father and heard you were going out. Now, away you go.” She smiled.
With a roll of her eyes, Ari dragged herself from the seat.
*****
“Are we still going to Thailand?” Nevaeh asked as Ari finished chewing her last mouthful of chicken wrap. “I mean—do you still want to go?”
“Of course, I do.”
“It’s just, with all that’s happened and you not leaving your house unless forced, I thought maybe you didn’t.”
“I really do. Just let me get these exams out of the way.”
“Yeah, and then we can leave this shitty situation behind and be a couple of carefree kiwis on a beach.” Nevaeh spent the rest of their time together updating Ari on her holiday research.
eight
It was a relief when exams were finally over. They had become a landmark for her to reach. Ari told herself she would step back into reality once they were over, so much so that she began believing it. She didn’t even care how the exams went or what marks she received. She had survived. Luke's death had blown a hole in her heart. And yes, now, when she looked for the hole, it was still there, but she had learnt to walk around its edges and, as a result, the pain had lessened.
Ari decided to make more of an effort and go out to enjoy herself. With exams over, her focus was on her holiday; golden beaches, warm water, cheap food and the biggest draw—being away from all the pitying looks she’d had to endure. Freedom and fun were calling, and she had only two weeks to wait.
Ari hadn't seen the stranger from the church yard again, although the feeling he provoked seemed to occasionally flitter around the edges of her consciousness, getting a little more intense before receding as quickly as it came.
When it happened, she would close her eyes and focus on the sensation. It didn't take her long before she could tune into it and pinpoint the direction it came from. It was like an early warning signal. But it was exhausting, constantly trying to feel him out, to follow his movements. She kept at it, kept looking for him. There was security in knowing where he was.
So when she hadn’t caught a flicker of him in four days, she became nervous. If that man was out there, she wanted to know where. Ari lay on her bed looking up at the ceiling. She closed her eyes and
“Come in. I'll get some bowls.” Ari pointed them towards the lounge where Nevaeh sat waiting.
Their company halted any further talk of strangers.
*****
In the days following the funeral, Ari kept to herself. She often found herself telling people she couldn't go out because she had to swat for the end of year exams. Her excuse to be alone, nothing more. It was hard enough dealing with her own grief. She couldn’t face being barraged by the grief of others as well. Two weeks on and that hadn’t changed. It was becoming uncomfortable turning down invitations, so much so that she had started ignoring text messages too. Unlike her other friends, Nevaeh ignored her requests for solitude and visited from time to time, just to check she was all right.
Nevaeh had turned up five minutes ago, uninvited, and sat, cup of tea in hand, at Ari’s dinner table.
“I still miss him, Nevaeh,” Ari said.
“I know hon. We all thought you and Luke would get together one day.”
Ari hadn’t told anyone about their kiss. It was her memory. She would never tell anyone; she would never let anyone taint it.
“You need to get back out in the real world,” Nevaeh said.
“I know.”
“Well, get moving. We’re going out.”
“What? No.”
“Ari,” Nevaeh warned, “get off your butt and get your wallet, we’re going out for lunch.”
Ari’s mum appeared around the corner clutching her purse. She delved in and pulled out a couple of $20 notes.
“My shout,” she said, handing them to Nevaeh.
“Were you in the hallway listening?” Ari asked her mum.
“I was coming to make a drink for your father and heard you were going out. Now, away you go.” She smiled.
With a roll of her eyes, Ari dragged herself from the seat.
*****
“Are we still going to Thailand?” Nevaeh asked as Ari finished chewing her last mouthful of chicken wrap. “I mean—do you still want to go?”
“Of course, I do.”
“It’s just, with all that’s happened and you not leaving your house unless forced, I thought maybe you didn’t.”
“I really do. Just let me get these exams out of the way.”
“Yeah, and then we can leave this shitty situation behind and be a couple of carefree kiwis on a beach.” Nevaeh spent the rest of their time together updating Ari on her holiday research.
eight
It was a relief when exams were finally over. They had become a landmark for her to reach. Ari told herself she would step back into reality once they were over, so much so that she began believing it. She didn’t even care how the exams went or what marks she received. She had survived. Luke's death had blown a hole in her heart. And yes, now, when she looked for the hole, it was still there, but she had learnt to walk around its edges and, as a result, the pain had lessened.
Ari decided to make more of an effort and go out to enjoy herself. With exams over, her focus was on her holiday; golden beaches, warm water, cheap food and the biggest draw—being away from all the pitying looks she’d had to endure. Freedom and fun were calling, and she had only two weeks to wait.
Ari hadn't seen the stranger from the church yard again, although the feeling he provoked seemed to occasionally flitter around the edges of her consciousness, getting a little more intense before receding as quickly as it came.
When it happened, she would close her eyes and focus on the sensation. It didn't take her long before she could tune into it and pinpoint the direction it came from. It was like an early warning signal. But it was exhausting, constantly trying to feel him out, to follow his movements. She kept at it, kept looking for him. There was security in knowing where he was.
So when she hadn’t caught a flicker of him in four days, she became nervous. If that man was out there, she wanted to know where. Ari lay on her bed looking up at the ceiling. She closed her eyes and
Similar Books
