yelling, “Let go. I’ll kill you. I’ll fucking kill you!
The door slammed shut. They dragged him out kicking and screaming. The priest is praying or something. I can’t hear the others anymore. Maybe they took them too. Another door just opened. I hear footsteps. They shut the recorder off. That’s it.
That was insane. I can’t shut this computer off still. I just heard that voice again. That Greek voice. I hear it talking to me. I hear it like it’s inside me. Invading my mind. The file ended, but I still hear it. That voice is in here with me. I know it. “Stop Please.” “STOP!”
It’s saying the same thing over and over. The same words. Over and over. The same words. Over and over. I hear it. It’s driving me crazy. It’s tormenting me. I have to write this down. I have to write it down. I have to. To make this stop. I have to write this down!
“Egó eímai o Theós tou myaloú sas tha Eímai pánta mazí sas”
I don’t even know what I just wrote. What is that? I don’t now how I typed that. My fingers felt glued to the keyboard. I don’t even know if my eyes were open. I was so scared. I couldn’t breathe. I just wanted that voice gone. I needed it gone, so I put my hands on the computer and typed. I felt like I couldn’t control my fingers, but they echoed the sound in my head. So I wrote this. And as soon as I finished, that evil voice was gone.
Jesus, Eddie! Why you get me involved in your crazy shit. I don’t want to do this anymore!
JOURNAL ENTRY:
THURSDAY DECEMBER 9, 2010 - 4:33PM
I finally got my computer back. Guess where I am? Sitting in stink ass seclusion waiting for someone to let me out. It’s disgusting here. The kind of place where you really can go crazy, so I’m gonna write and keep my mind off everything.
Haworth told me if I touch anyone again, I could become a patient here against my will. The sad part is, I think I might be at their mercy. I signed away consent and liability. I screwed myself. I should have thought about my escape route better.
I’m in a self-contained town with no police, no contact with the outside world, and a thirty-minute drive for help. By foot in this cold, it’s probably a day’s walk. And at night the temperature drops below freezing.
When the dust settles, if I get out of here, I’m taking off to Dell City to check in with Melody. I need to send her my tapes and email these notes since there’s no post office here.
Then I’m going to El Paso to get my camera fixed. I don’t trust making phone calls from Dell City.
I know they listen to everything. They have complete control out here. And they’re playing with me. The demonic circus act was freaky. It scared the shit out me. They all looked possessed, like in Carrie or The Omen. They rehearsed this. A well-played one act by the Haworth Theater Company.
The last hour I’ve been replaying that whole scene in my head and these guys did their homework. They probably found my divorce records filed online, got credit card statements and followed up on Jamie’s new last name from her marriage license. Almost anything can be public record on the Internet if you pay enough money. If anyone knows that, it’s me. And yet, I still fell for it.
The only thing that still really bothers me is how Tyler said exactly what Jamie told me in the hotel room five years ago. That’s what put me over the edge. It was the way he said it.
He said it just like her, with the same inflection and the same disdain she vomited to me with those exact words, “We don’t want you in our life.”
I felt that moment of complete emptiness again. Like someone was pulling my heart out of my chest and holding it mockingly in front of my face.
How Jamie got complete custody and used my DUI to seal it shut was heartless. The woman that I loved for so long, suddenly had this disdain for me and took away the only
The door slammed shut. They dragged him out kicking and screaming. The priest is praying or something. I can’t hear the others anymore. Maybe they took them too. Another door just opened. I hear footsteps. They shut the recorder off. That’s it.
That was insane. I can’t shut this computer off still. I just heard that voice again. That Greek voice. I hear it talking to me. I hear it like it’s inside me. Invading my mind. The file ended, but I still hear it. That voice is in here with me. I know it. “Stop Please.” “STOP!”
It’s saying the same thing over and over. The same words. Over and over. The same words. Over and over. I hear it. It’s driving me crazy. It’s tormenting me. I have to write this down. I have to write it down. I have to. To make this stop. I have to write this down!
“Egó eímai o Theós tou myaloú sas tha Eímai pánta mazí sas”
I don’t even know what I just wrote. What is that? I don’t now how I typed that. My fingers felt glued to the keyboard. I don’t even know if my eyes were open. I was so scared. I couldn’t breathe. I just wanted that voice gone. I needed it gone, so I put my hands on the computer and typed. I felt like I couldn’t control my fingers, but they echoed the sound in my head. So I wrote this. And as soon as I finished, that evil voice was gone.
Jesus, Eddie! Why you get me involved in your crazy shit. I don’t want to do this anymore!
JOURNAL ENTRY:
THURSDAY DECEMBER 9, 2010 - 4:33PM
I finally got my computer back. Guess where I am? Sitting in stink ass seclusion waiting for someone to let me out. It’s disgusting here. The kind of place where you really can go crazy, so I’m gonna write and keep my mind off everything.
Haworth told me if I touch anyone again, I could become a patient here against my will. The sad part is, I think I might be at their mercy. I signed away consent and liability. I screwed myself. I should have thought about my escape route better.
I’m in a self-contained town with no police, no contact with the outside world, and a thirty-minute drive for help. By foot in this cold, it’s probably a day’s walk. And at night the temperature drops below freezing.
When the dust settles, if I get out of here, I’m taking off to Dell City to check in with Melody. I need to send her my tapes and email these notes since there’s no post office here.
Then I’m going to El Paso to get my camera fixed. I don’t trust making phone calls from Dell City.
I know they listen to everything. They have complete control out here. And they’re playing with me. The demonic circus act was freaky. It scared the shit out me. They all looked possessed, like in Carrie or The Omen. They rehearsed this. A well-played one act by the Haworth Theater Company.
The last hour I’ve been replaying that whole scene in my head and these guys did their homework. They probably found my divorce records filed online, got credit card statements and followed up on Jamie’s new last name from her marriage license. Almost anything can be public record on the Internet if you pay enough money. If anyone knows that, it’s me. And yet, I still fell for it.
The only thing that still really bothers me is how Tyler said exactly what Jamie told me in the hotel room five years ago. That’s what put me over the edge. It was the way he said it.
He said it just like her, with the same inflection and the same disdain she vomited to me with those exact words, “We don’t want you in our life.”
I felt that moment of complete emptiness again. Like someone was pulling my heart out of my chest and holding it mockingly in front of my face.
How Jamie got complete custody and used my DUI to seal it shut was heartless. The woman that I loved for so long, suddenly had this disdain for me and took away the only
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