to kill someone, would it trigger the old cravings?"
He felt like his blood was on fire, burning through him with the need to touch her. Was it because she was his sheva ? He didn't think it was. She represented more than a mate to claim. She was the life force he'd been searching for, the energy that could sustain him forever, the one that would fill him with all he'd ever wanted to be. He was hungry for her, hungry to the depths of his soul, not as predator and prey, but as if a part of his own soul had gone missing, and she was the key to making him whole again. "No, using my weapons is just a path to doing what I need to do, which is feed."
She cocked her head, studying him thoughtfully. "So, if you defended me with your weapons, it wouldn't trigger it? You could murder that man you want to kill with your weapons, and you'd be fine? Is that what you're saying?"
He stared at her, processing her question. Slowly, he realized that she somehow believed there could be an easy solution to this. "There's no happy way out, Maya. I was locked up because there's no way to kill me, and no way to stop me. You're the only one who can kill me, if we were to bond completely. Even if I don't use my powers to kill someone, I can tell the need is building again. Killing someone will make it happen faster, but it's going to happen. I need you to kill me before it takes over." There. The truth was out. The ugly fucking truth. It was completely foreign to be standing here, being honest with someone, but with Maya, he had no other choice. He needed her to know him, to see him for who he was, to give her the truth no matter how ugly.
She stared at him. "Really?"
"Yeah."
"That's why you said yes to helping me? Because you planned to cement the sheva bond with me, and then have me kill you?" To his surprise, she didn't look horrified. She looked thoughtful.
He nodded. "Yeah."
"Huh." She walked past him, stopping just beside him, but facing out toward the woods, as if she were thinking. Her shoulder was so close to his that he could feel the heat from her body. "And if I killed you, then I'd kill myself, right?"
He balled his hands into fists. "I already said that won't happen—"
She turned back toward him, and her eyes were bright with determination. "There is only one thing that can save my kingdom from the shadows, and that's light. They're natural opposites."
He narrowed his eyes, studying her, suspecting that she was about to propose an idea he wasn't going to like. Yeah, he admired her bravery, and he appreciated the fact she was working her ass off to save the kingdom, but there were limits to what he wanted to hear. "So?"
"So, there's a man who is the heir of an ancient kingdom of sunlight. He's the one I bartered with. His sunlight for my kingdom, and he gets…" Something flickered in her eyes. Fear? "He gets me."
Levi's gut hardened, and his fingers instinctively wrapped around her wrist. "What exactly is your deal with him? You said you weren't engaged."
"No, not engaged. Under agreement to help my kingdom." She grimaced. "I owe him fealty. Not as queen, as a woman. Not marriage, because that would be mutual. It's one-sided, me to him for my lifetime." She met his gaze, and he saw in them something he didn't like: fear, the kind of deep, knowing fear that would haunt a man forever. "He's a bad man, Levi. He'll hurt me. I know that, but it's the only way to save my people. I owe them that. But if you and I bond after my kingdom gets his light, and I kill myself afterwards." She managed a smile. "Then I'm free from him."
"No." He tightened his grip on her wrist, his mind spinning with the number of things he didn't like about that plan. "If he's a bastard, he'll hurt your villagers, too. You realize that, don't you?"
She met his gaze, lifting her chin like the royalty she was. "He doesn't get my kingdom. He just gets me. There's a difference."
"If he marries you, he becomes your king."
She shook her head. "Not in my
He felt like his blood was on fire, burning through him with the need to touch her. Was it because she was his sheva ? He didn't think it was. She represented more than a mate to claim. She was the life force he'd been searching for, the energy that could sustain him forever, the one that would fill him with all he'd ever wanted to be. He was hungry for her, hungry to the depths of his soul, not as predator and prey, but as if a part of his own soul had gone missing, and she was the key to making him whole again. "No, using my weapons is just a path to doing what I need to do, which is feed."
She cocked her head, studying him thoughtfully. "So, if you defended me with your weapons, it wouldn't trigger it? You could murder that man you want to kill with your weapons, and you'd be fine? Is that what you're saying?"
He stared at her, processing her question. Slowly, he realized that she somehow believed there could be an easy solution to this. "There's no happy way out, Maya. I was locked up because there's no way to kill me, and no way to stop me. You're the only one who can kill me, if we were to bond completely. Even if I don't use my powers to kill someone, I can tell the need is building again. Killing someone will make it happen faster, but it's going to happen. I need you to kill me before it takes over." There. The truth was out. The ugly fucking truth. It was completely foreign to be standing here, being honest with someone, but with Maya, he had no other choice. He needed her to know him, to see him for who he was, to give her the truth no matter how ugly.
She stared at him. "Really?"
"Yeah."
"That's why you said yes to helping me? Because you planned to cement the sheva bond with me, and then have me kill you?" To his surprise, she didn't look horrified. She looked thoughtful.
He nodded. "Yeah."
"Huh." She walked past him, stopping just beside him, but facing out toward the woods, as if she were thinking. Her shoulder was so close to his that he could feel the heat from her body. "And if I killed you, then I'd kill myself, right?"
He balled his hands into fists. "I already said that won't happen—"
She turned back toward him, and her eyes were bright with determination. "There is only one thing that can save my kingdom from the shadows, and that's light. They're natural opposites."
He narrowed his eyes, studying her, suspecting that she was about to propose an idea he wasn't going to like. Yeah, he admired her bravery, and he appreciated the fact she was working her ass off to save the kingdom, but there were limits to what he wanted to hear. "So?"
"So, there's a man who is the heir of an ancient kingdom of sunlight. He's the one I bartered with. His sunlight for my kingdom, and he gets…" Something flickered in her eyes. Fear? "He gets me."
Levi's gut hardened, and his fingers instinctively wrapped around her wrist. "What exactly is your deal with him? You said you weren't engaged."
"No, not engaged. Under agreement to help my kingdom." She grimaced. "I owe him fealty. Not as queen, as a woman. Not marriage, because that would be mutual. It's one-sided, me to him for my lifetime." She met his gaze, and he saw in them something he didn't like: fear, the kind of deep, knowing fear that would haunt a man forever. "He's a bad man, Levi. He'll hurt me. I know that, but it's the only way to save my people. I owe them that. But if you and I bond after my kingdom gets his light, and I kill myself afterwards." She managed a smile. "Then I'm free from him."
"No." He tightened his grip on her wrist, his mind spinning with the number of things he didn't like about that plan. "If he's a bastard, he'll hurt your villagers, too. You realize that, don't you?"
She met his gaze, lifting her chin like the royalty she was. "He doesn't get my kingdom. He just gets me. There's a difference."
"If he marries you, he becomes your king."
She shook her head. "Not in my
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