slowing their incessant sound for a second. I try to look around, but my vision is blurry. I'm moving, though, and something hard is beneath me, like someone is carrying me away in their arms. Which makes no sense. But I definitely feel myself progressing forward, feel the nausea rise up, and the next thing I know, something warm and soft is beneath me. And then, when I try to open my eyes, there is blackness. Another memory.
It's been o ver a year and a half since the night I almost died, and I still haven't moved on. I moved away , if that counts, to this dead-end town. I got a job, a tiny apartment, and I guess my prediction about living only to get through the next day came true after all. I'm not happy, not really. I have no love, no passion left in me. I'm living just to survive, doing nothing more, nothing less. This Starbucks job has gotten me less than nowhere, and so when my new friend Ash convinced me to try just one night out at a club, I said yes. "It's not like you have anything else to do," she'd said, which was all too true. I didn't have any hobbies. I didn't have any interests. Hell, I'd probably have just spent my night watching TV if it weren't for.
But instead, that night, I met Sebastian.
And then everything changed.
Anyway, Ash brought me to a club as soon as I agreed to go out with her. I dressed up in a purple dress, put on eyeliner and mascara and some makeup and lipstick, and then I let her drive me to wherever she had in mind.
So here I am, standing here, so, so out of place. The club is as cliché as ever. It's a giant room made up of multiple floors connected by a white, winding staircase. The whole place is dark, flooded with people drinking and swaying to the music, laughing and talking as the colored flashing lights illuminates the area between beats. Retro music pulses throughout the building, and everything is so loud and full and surreal that I feel like I'm in a dream.
"C'mon," Ash says, taking my arm and pulling me to the bar, where several desperate, well-dressed men sip drinks and flirt with any passing women.
Ash sits me down on the stool, then orders us both a drink. It's pathetic, really. That I'm here. That going to random clubs at midnight on a Thursday night is what my life has come to. But it has, and at least the club provides a distraction from everything else. At least, for a few hours, I can pretend to be normal.
"So how are you liking it so far?" Ash shouts to me over the music, taking her drink in her hand and smiling like she always does: like nothing in the world but this moment matters. I've always admired that about her, how she lives 100% in the present, how she never lets anything but what's happening right here, right now bother her. It's a nice way to live, and sometimes I wish I could ever be like that.
"It's fine," I manage to say, but as I look around the packed club, I couldn't feel more out of place.
"Don’t worry." Ash leans into me. "We'll find you a hot date."
I nod, not really believing it, when a man comes up to Ash. "Fancy a drink?" he says, smiling at her. He is handso me and blonde, and Ash and I can both see it.
"Totally." He sits down beside her, and Ash beams at me, totally forgetting her mission to find me a date, and then goes to talk to this fancy stranger.
I sigh to myself. Five minutes in, and I'm already getting abandoned. Great. It's like this club is a metaphor for my life. I take a sip of wine, closing my eyes and waiting for all of this to go away.
" The wine is good for making you forget," a man's voice says behind me.
I don ’t look at him. I don't have the energy. After all, he's probably just a random creeper I have no interest in. "Yeah," I mutter. "It sure is."
There's a pause. "First time here too?"
"Fortunately," I manage to say, taking another sip.
He laughs then. That stops me dead. He has a nice laugh. A really nice laugh. It's thick and masculine, warm and inviting all at once. His voice is kind of nice, too,
It's been o ver a year and a half since the night I almost died, and I still haven't moved on. I moved away , if that counts, to this dead-end town. I got a job, a tiny apartment, and I guess my prediction about living only to get through the next day came true after all. I'm not happy, not really. I have no love, no passion left in me. I'm living just to survive, doing nothing more, nothing less. This Starbucks job has gotten me less than nowhere, and so when my new friend Ash convinced me to try just one night out at a club, I said yes. "It's not like you have anything else to do," she'd said, which was all too true. I didn't have any hobbies. I didn't have any interests. Hell, I'd probably have just spent my night watching TV if it weren't for.
But instead, that night, I met Sebastian.
And then everything changed.
Anyway, Ash brought me to a club as soon as I agreed to go out with her. I dressed up in a purple dress, put on eyeliner and mascara and some makeup and lipstick, and then I let her drive me to wherever she had in mind.
So here I am, standing here, so, so out of place. The club is as cliché as ever. It's a giant room made up of multiple floors connected by a white, winding staircase. The whole place is dark, flooded with people drinking and swaying to the music, laughing and talking as the colored flashing lights illuminates the area between beats. Retro music pulses throughout the building, and everything is so loud and full and surreal that I feel like I'm in a dream.
"C'mon," Ash says, taking my arm and pulling me to the bar, where several desperate, well-dressed men sip drinks and flirt with any passing women.
Ash sits me down on the stool, then orders us both a drink. It's pathetic, really. That I'm here. That going to random clubs at midnight on a Thursday night is what my life has come to. But it has, and at least the club provides a distraction from everything else. At least, for a few hours, I can pretend to be normal.
"So how are you liking it so far?" Ash shouts to me over the music, taking her drink in her hand and smiling like she always does: like nothing in the world but this moment matters. I've always admired that about her, how she lives 100% in the present, how she never lets anything but what's happening right here, right now bother her. It's a nice way to live, and sometimes I wish I could ever be like that.
"It's fine," I manage to say, but as I look around the packed club, I couldn't feel more out of place.
"Don’t worry." Ash leans into me. "We'll find you a hot date."
I nod, not really believing it, when a man comes up to Ash. "Fancy a drink?" he says, smiling at her. He is handso me and blonde, and Ash and I can both see it.
"Totally." He sits down beside her, and Ash beams at me, totally forgetting her mission to find me a date, and then goes to talk to this fancy stranger.
I sigh to myself. Five minutes in, and I'm already getting abandoned. Great. It's like this club is a metaphor for my life. I take a sip of wine, closing my eyes and waiting for all of this to go away.
" The wine is good for making you forget," a man's voice says behind me.
I don ’t look at him. I don't have the energy. After all, he's probably just a random creeper I have no interest in. "Yeah," I mutter. "It sure is."
There's a pause. "First time here too?"
"Fortunately," I manage to say, taking another sip.
He laughs then. That stops me dead. He has a nice laugh. A really nice laugh. It's thick and masculine, warm and inviting all at once. His voice is kind of nice, too,
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