here, that they RESPECT what’s happening here.
We are both quiet now, and I am starting to fidget as I stand there in the middle of the room, feeling a heat between my legs, a lightness in my head. But before things get too awkward, I hear the doorbell ring and I almost swoon as I feel relief followed by a surge of nervous energy.
Oh. My. God.
He’s here.
It’s time.
14
CHRIS
“W hat have I done?” I mutter as I stare at my blank computer screen and rub my head furiously as I refresh the page again and again, wondering why Amy isn’t online yet.
I am sweating, even though it is a dry heat here. My palms feel clammy and I cannot sit still. I look at my silent phone, wondering if I should call Amy and tell her I’ve changed my mind. I wonder if I should call Jason and tell him to break up the scene, whatever the scene is.
But the panic passes, and I take several deep breaths as I focus on my feelings, remind myself that these emotions are just the last shreds of some deep-rooted insecurity maybe, insecurity that perhaps I didn’t know I had in me. And this realization makes me smile suddenly, because I know I’m learning something about myself, bettering myself in a way, making myself stronger, more complete, a better soldier, a better man . . .
. . . a better husband.
Now I almost jump out of the chair as I hear a sharp knock on the door of this closet-sized reading room. I am about to shout, “Occupied!” but then the door opens and so I stand up quickly.
It is Hale, and I exhale as I nod at him.
“How’re you doing, brother?” he says, smiling warmly, a twinkle in his eye that perhaps hides a tiny bit of that affectionate envy I saw in him the other day. “You good? Jason call you yet?”
I shake my head, my jaw taut and clenched. Jason was supposed to call me when Parker gets there, and I glance over at my phone and then shake my head once more.
Hale smiles again. “He’ll call. They’re probably just settling in, getting introductions done and all that. He’ll call.”
I nod and smile, blinking hard. “Yeah,” I say. “Sure.”
Hale laughs now. “Hey, listen, buddy. Remember, you can stop this at any time. This is happening because YOU want it, right? I understand the fear you feel right now. Trust me, brother, that feeling’s going to evolve into something else the moment you see your wife with Parker. Your body and soul will know it’s right, and you’ll fucking feel it. Right now it’s just your brain that’s fighting this. It’s just your brain that’s telling you that normal people don’t do this shit, that normal marriages can’t survive this stuff, that good Americans don’t share their wives. But your gut knows the truth, and in a few minutes you’re going to step past that threshold into a new world. A new fucking world, Chris. So just lock this fucking door, sit back, and make sure you clean your cum off the floor when it’s all said and done.”
And this just makes me BURST into laughter, and now we are both laughing, slapping palms, thumping each other on the back like fucking schoolboys. It is a great feeling to share this moment with a brother like Hale, to share this moment right before I share my wife!
Hale and I hug once more and then he leaves, and now I am alone again. Amy is still offline and my phone is still silent, and I exhale hard and sit down, put my feet up, and wonder what the hell is going on in my warm, cozy home back in the USA.
15
AMY
“P arker Stiles, Ma’am,” he says to me as he stands there on the porch.
He is wearing his “C” Dress Blues, and I blink hard as I take in the sight of this straight-backed Marine in his tight blue pants and long-sleeve khaki shirt. He is immaculately groomed, not a single strand of his short blonde hair out of place. Parker’s face is tanned like Jason’s, but while Jason has some stubble, Parker is freshly shaved and smooth like a baby’s bottom. He isn’t wearing sunglasses, and his eyes
We are both quiet now, and I am starting to fidget as I stand there in the middle of the room, feeling a heat between my legs, a lightness in my head. But before things get too awkward, I hear the doorbell ring and I almost swoon as I feel relief followed by a surge of nervous energy.
Oh. My. God.
He’s here.
It’s time.
14
CHRIS
“W hat have I done?” I mutter as I stare at my blank computer screen and rub my head furiously as I refresh the page again and again, wondering why Amy isn’t online yet.
I am sweating, even though it is a dry heat here. My palms feel clammy and I cannot sit still. I look at my silent phone, wondering if I should call Amy and tell her I’ve changed my mind. I wonder if I should call Jason and tell him to break up the scene, whatever the scene is.
But the panic passes, and I take several deep breaths as I focus on my feelings, remind myself that these emotions are just the last shreds of some deep-rooted insecurity maybe, insecurity that perhaps I didn’t know I had in me. And this realization makes me smile suddenly, because I know I’m learning something about myself, bettering myself in a way, making myself stronger, more complete, a better soldier, a better man . . .
. . . a better husband.
Now I almost jump out of the chair as I hear a sharp knock on the door of this closet-sized reading room. I am about to shout, “Occupied!” but then the door opens and so I stand up quickly.
It is Hale, and I exhale as I nod at him.
“How’re you doing, brother?” he says, smiling warmly, a twinkle in his eye that perhaps hides a tiny bit of that affectionate envy I saw in him the other day. “You good? Jason call you yet?”
I shake my head, my jaw taut and clenched. Jason was supposed to call me when Parker gets there, and I glance over at my phone and then shake my head once more.
Hale smiles again. “He’ll call. They’re probably just settling in, getting introductions done and all that. He’ll call.”
I nod and smile, blinking hard. “Yeah,” I say. “Sure.”
Hale laughs now. “Hey, listen, buddy. Remember, you can stop this at any time. This is happening because YOU want it, right? I understand the fear you feel right now. Trust me, brother, that feeling’s going to evolve into something else the moment you see your wife with Parker. Your body and soul will know it’s right, and you’ll fucking feel it. Right now it’s just your brain that’s fighting this. It’s just your brain that’s telling you that normal people don’t do this shit, that normal marriages can’t survive this stuff, that good Americans don’t share their wives. But your gut knows the truth, and in a few minutes you’re going to step past that threshold into a new world. A new fucking world, Chris. So just lock this fucking door, sit back, and make sure you clean your cum off the floor when it’s all said and done.”
And this just makes me BURST into laughter, and now we are both laughing, slapping palms, thumping each other on the back like fucking schoolboys. It is a great feeling to share this moment with a brother like Hale, to share this moment right before I share my wife!
Hale and I hug once more and then he leaves, and now I am alone again. Amy is still offline and my phone is still silent, and I exhale hard and sit down, put my feet up, and wonder what the hell is going on in my warm, cozy home back in the USA.
15
AMY
“P arker Stiles, Ma’am,” he says to me as he stands there on the porch.
He is wearing his “C” Dress Blues, and I blink hard as I take in the sight of this straight-backed Marine in his tight blue pants and long-sleeve khaki shirt. He is immaculately groomed, not a single strand of his short blonde hair out of place. Parker’s face is tanned like Jason’s, but while Jason has some stubble, Parker is freshly shaved and smooth like a baby’s bottom. He isn’t wearing sunglasses, and his eyes
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