She's Gotta Be Mine by Jasmine Haynes, Jennifer Skully

sure, Warren. Just between us.”
    It should have been reassuring. It chilled him to the marrow of his bones.
    His troubles weren’t nearly over. He was very much afraid they’d only just begun.
     
    * * * * *
     
    Nick had just about decided a running toilet was preferable to listening to the drivel coming out of Eugenia Meade’s mouth. Separated from her by an aisle of plumbing fixtures and Rubbermaid products, her semi-screech carried to the far corners of Sylvestor’s Hardware Emporium. The woman had a pitch that could shatter glass. No wonder Mayor Meade had ordered a pullout sofa for his office at City Hall.
    “Patsy did her best to warn her, but she’s taken Agnes Porter’s place right across from That Man.”
    When he’d first moved back to Cottonmouth, Nick had checked his birth certificate just to see if his real name was “That Man.” He selected a ball cock and waited for more dirt on his new neighbor across the street.
    “ Janey Dillings and Patsy say she’s just an utterly adorable little thing, sweet as the dickens. Everyone’s wondering why on earth any sane man would leave her.”
    Christ. How was he supposed to have fantasies about an utterly adorable little thing ?
    “She’s working for Mavis down at The Cooked Goose. I heard her husband came in. He’s her ex-husband, actually. Well, not quite, seems they haven’t gotten the divorce yet.”
    Eugenia Meade had better take a breath soon, or she’d faint from oxygen deprivation. A conversation with Eugenia didn’t require verbal participation from her companions. Vague “ Mmmhumms ” were all that was necessary or even allowed, and those were so she’d know her audience hadn’t expired.
    “Isn’t it odd she’s come to Cottonmouth, too? Well, not odd. I think it’s for revenge. Not that most men don’t deserve it.”
    Guess he’d made a sound decision when he’d tried to scare the woman off. Being part of a vengeful almost-divorcee’s scheme wasn’t on his list of ten favorite things. Still, there was no reason he couldn’t let her sneak into a fantasy or two.
    “I think she was some sort of accounting-type person down in the Silicon Valley.” Eugenia’s tone indicated that anything south of Cottonmouth was akin to the Devil’s lair. “And her husband is that new man who just set out his shingle in Bert’s old office space. He’s an accountant, too, a rather insipid little man in my opinion. I’m sure he’s trying to run poor Mr. Crouch out of business, at least that’s what Jimbo says.”
    Jimbo . Shit. The whole incident with Jimbo —and Jimbo’s wife—had been another of Nick’s regrettable errors in judgment.
    “And you know the reputation accountants have these days,” Eugenia went on. “Why, it’s almost as bad as being a lawyer.”
    Finally, she stopped long enough to suck in a lungful of air. Nick imagined her companion contemplating the cosmos...or how to get away from Eugenia Meade. But to give Eugenia her due, she was the town’s best gossip. Hell, he’d learned many an interesting tidbit about himself while lurking in store aisles right next to her moveable pulpit.
    “Why she didn’t listen to Patsy’s words of wisdom, I’ll never know. It won’t be long before we find her body in That Man’s front yard. Mark my words, he’s going to move beyond cats, dogs, and raccoons before long. In fact, he probably already has. You know, they say most serial killers start doing humans when they’re in their teens.” Eugenia gasped. “And you do remember that poor Mary Alice Turner?”
    In The Word According to Eugenia Meade , his sins were many. But Mary Alice wasn’t one of them. She was the only thing in his past he didn’t regret. But he’d never atone for coming home after his parents died. And for that, he did deserve Eugenia’s wrath.
    “I’ve tried to get Wylie to talk to the sheriff about keeping a closer eye on him. But you know Wylie, he never listens to a word I say.”
    Not true.