haven’t celebrated one since I lost my mom, and I’m sure my father forgot about it. He was gone before I got out of bed this morning, and I’m praying he would be home late tonight. I’d rather him not know I’d gone out at all. I’m not sure how he’ll respond to me going places. He may not care, but if he does, it will be bad.
He’d let me do a few weekend jobs, but I’d never asked to do anything else. Never had a reason to. Nor had the subject of boys ever come up. Sometimes I think he wants me gone and would be happy if I wasn’t here when he got home. But then when I talked about working at nights, it pissed him off and I was told no. I don’t understand him, but I’m guessing there is no understanding an alcoholic. Maybe he just likes me around so it isn’t so lonely, or because he wants someone to take his pain out on. I only hope I make it home before he does. Fridays tend to be late nights for him.
Digging through my backpack, I find a small tube of lip gloss and slick it on. It makes my lips look shiny and fuller. I run my fingers through my hair, giving it one last check. This is as good as it’s getting.
I grab my small purse off my bed and head downstairs to wait for Ren. He dropped me off after school and said he’d be back in an hour. He was reluctant to leave me, wanting to wait for me to get ready, but I didn’t want him to come inside. Nor did I want to chance my father coming home early. It was unlikely that would happen, but it could, knowing my luck.
And after meeting Ren’s parents, I definitely don’t want him meeting my father. They were so freaking perfect and sweet in every way. I forgot families like that existed anymore. I could see how much they all love each other. How excited they were to meet me just because I meant something to their son.
God, looking at Ren’s mom made me miss my own mom so bad. It doesn’t help that today’s my birthday. Her death is weighing heavily on me today. I wonder what she would have done for me. I’m sure we would have gone shopping. A new dress would have been a must for Mom. My eyes water as I think about all the things we could have done today.
I swallow the lump in my throat and focus on tonight. I grab my coat and slip on my boots, even though they don’t match my outfit. I don’t have any other options, especially with the snow. When I look out the window by the door I see Ren coming up the walkway to the front door. I pull open the door quickly and shut and lock it behind me so he can’t ask to come in. When I turn around he’s already right behind me.
“You’re supposed to let me knock, babe,” he says, smiling down at me. “I was going to introduce myself to your father before I took you out.”
“He’s still at work,” I tell him grabbing his hand, wanting to get out of here. But when I go to pull on it so he’ll come with me, he pulls me back to him, engulfing me in his arms and leaning down for a kiss. His lips lock on mine, and I melt into him. The cold Minnesota night doesn’t stand a chance against Ren’s body heat.
“Don’t try to not give me my kiss,” he says playfully.
“Sorry,” I say breathlessly.
You’d think I’d be used to his kisses by now, but nope. They still knock the air right out of me. He’s been laying them on me every chance he gets. Even at work. Sometimes I think I’m getting paid just to kiss him. He’s always grabbing me when no one is around, and we end up having a little make-out session that does all kinds of things to me. I want to do more.
“Come on, don’t want to be late.” Before I can turn, he swoops me up in his arms like I weigh nothing, and I giggle as he carries me towards his Jeep. I wrap my arms around his neck and smile at him. “I love that sound.”
He puts me back on my feet and opens the passenger’s side door, helping me in. Leaning over me, he pulls the seat belt over me, his whole body rubbing against mine. I try to push into him a little,
He’d let me do a few weekend jobs, but I’d never asked to do anything else. Never had a reason to. Nor had the subject of boys ever come up. Sometimes I think he wants me gone and would be happy if I wasn’t here when he got home. But then when I talked about working at nights, it pissed him off and I was told no. I don’t understand him, but I’m guessing there is no understanding an alcoholic. Maybe he just likes me around so it isn’t so lonely, or because he wants someone to take his pain out on. I only hope I make it home before he does. Fridays tend to be late nights for him.
Digging through my backpack, I find a small tube of lip gloss and slick it on. It makes my lips look shiny and fuller. I run my fingers through my hair, giving it one last check. This is as good as it’s getting.
I grab my small purse off my bed and head downstairs to wait for Ren. He dropped me off after school and said he’d be back in an hour. He was reluctant to leave me, wanting to wait for me to get ready, but I didn’t want him to come inside. Nor did I want to chance my father coming home early. It was unlikely that would happen, but it could, knowing my luck.
And after meeting Ren’s parents, I definitely don’t want him meeting my father. They were so freaking perfect and sweet in every way. I forgot families like that existed anymore. I could see how much they all love each other. How excited they were to meet me just because I meant something to their son.
God, looking at Ren’s mom made me miss my own mom so bad. It doesn’t help that today’s my birthday. Her death is weighing heavily on me today. I wonder what she would have done for me. I’m sure we would have gone shopping. A new dress would have been a must for Mom. My eyes water as I think about all the things we could have done today.
I swallow the lump in my throat and focus on tonight. I grab my coat and slip on my boots, even though they don’t match my outfit. I don’t have any other options, especially with the snow. When I look out the window by the door I see Ren coming up the walkway to the front door. I pull open the door quickly and shut and lock it behind me so he can’t ask to come in. When I turn around he’s already right behind me.
“You’re supposed to let me knock, babe,” he says, smiling down at me. “I was going to introduce myself to your father before I took you out.”
“He’s still at work,” I tell him grabbing his hand, wanting to get out of here. But when I go to pull on it so he’ll come with me, he pulls me back to him, engulfing me in his arms and leaning down for a kiss. His lips lock on mine, and I melt into him. The cold Minnesota night doesn’t stand a chance against Ren’s body heat.
“Don’t try to not give me my kiss,” he says playfully.
“Sorry,” I say breathlessly.
You’d think I’d be used to his kisses by now, but nope. They still knock the air right out of me. He’s been laying them on me every chance he gets. Even at work. Sometimes I think I’m getting paid just to kiss him. He’s always grabbing me when no one is around, and we end up having a little make-out session that does all kinds of things to me. I want to do more.
“Come on, don’t want to be late.” Before I can turn, he swoops me up in his arms like I weigh nothing, and I giggle as he carries me towards his Jeep. I wrap my arms around his neck and smile at him. “I love that sound.”
He puts me back on my feet and opens the passenger’s side door, helping me in. Leaning over me, he pulls the seat belt over me, his whole body rubbing against mine. I try to push into him a little,
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