confront him with that question?”
“No, he’d only sidestep.” She shrugged. “Besides, I’m out of it.” She thrust the journal at Jane. “It’s your decision now.”
Jane’s eyes widened. “What?”
“You heard me. I’m a liability. I was deliberately brought in to find Eve. I can’t stay here. I’m going home to San Diego. I’m going back to my teaching job.”
“You’re giving up trying to find—”
“No, dammit.” She drew a deep breath. “But it’s got to look that way. I can’t be on the scene. It has to look as if I gave up on the search because I thought Eve was dead. I’ll still do what I can. I’ll try to figure out what’s going on with this journal, and you can send me anything that—” Her hands were clenched. “It’s not enough. I hate it. It’s going to drive me crazy. But this isn’t about me. We may have only a small window of surprise with Doane, and I can’t smash it because I want to be involved.” She added fiercely, “But if there’s something I can do that won’t hurt the chances of keeping Eve alive, you call me, tell me.”
Jane was recovering from the shock, and she felt a surge of sympathy for Kendra. “That goes without question.” She smiled sadly. “I know how it feels to be forced out of the action and not being able to help. Those days in the hospital were terrible.” She glanced down at the journal. “My decision, you said. Why are you giving it to me?”
“Because, other than Joe Quinn, you care the most for Eve. It’s intensely personal with you, and you’ll fight to the death to get her back. You don’t have to strike a balance like Venable. There is no other answer for you.”
“That’s right, there isn’t.” She touched the cover. “You’re not asking me to keep it from Venable.”
“Your decision. I’ve made a copy of my own. I’ve told you my opinion, but you’re going to be on the ground running, and I’m going to be in San Diego. I’m only asking you to think long and hard about it.”
“I’ve already thought about it. I’ll show it to Joe, and we’ll discuss it, but Venable isn’t going to get it until his motivations are a hell of a lot more clear.”
“That’s a relief. Look, Catherine Ling is here. If you need someone of CIA caliber, I think you can trust her to look out for Eve and nothing else.” She made a face. “There I go again, trying to run the show. You don’t know how hard it was for me to give up control.”
“I think I do,” she said quietly. “I’ve learned a lot about you since you came to search for Eve.” She paused. “And all I’ve learned is good, Kendra.”
“Naturally, at least, in my areas of expertise.”
“That wasn’t what I was talking about. You have a good heart. I trust you.”
“And that’s a true honor,” Kendra said. “I’ve noticed that your trust is pretty well limited to Quinn and Eve.”
Jane lifted her shoulders in a half shrug. “It comes from being a street kid. I was in a dozen foster homes before Eve took me into her life. Everything would seem to go well for a while, then suddenly I’d be sent back to DEFACS. Or maybe it wouldn’t go so well, and I’d purposely do something that would make them kick me out. Either way, it wasn’t a lifestyle to inspire trust.”
“Even with Mark Trevor?” Kendra asked. “I’ve only gotten to know him during the days he’s been here after Colorado, but I’d say that he’s worth taking a chance on.” She smiled. “Besides being fantastically good-looking and totally charming. Quinn told me that he was your lover but that you broke up a year or so ago.” She held up her hand. “Forget I asked. It’s none of my business. It’s just my nature to probe into everything around me. Give me an inch, and I’ll take a mile.”
“I don’t mind,” Jane said. “Not from you. Trevor is all of those things. He was my first love, and he made me dizzy from the moment I met him.”
“But you
“No, he’d only sidestep.” She shrugged. “Besides, I’m out of it.” She thrust the journal at Jane. “It’s your decision now.”
Jane’s eyes widened. “What?”
“You heard me. I’m a liability. I was deliberately brought in to find Eve. I can’t stay here. I’m going home to San Diego. I’m going back to my teaching job.”
“You’re giving up trying to find—”
“No, dammit.” She drew a deep breath. “But it’s got to look that way. I can’t be on the scene. It has to look as if I gave up on the search because I thought Eve was dead. I’ll still do what I can. I’ll try to figure out what’s going on with this journal, and you can send me anything that—” Her hands were clenched. “It’s not enough. I hate it. It’s going to drive me crazy. But this isn’t about me. We may have only a small window of surprise with Doane, and I can’t smash it because I want to be involved.” She added fiercely, “But if there’s something I can do that won’t hurt the chances of keeping Eve alive, you call me, tell me.”
Jane was recovering from the shock, and she felt a surge of sympathy for Kendra. “That goes without question.” She smiled sadly. “I know how it feels to be forced out of the action and not being able to help. Those days in the hospital were terrible.” She glanced down at the journal. “My decision, you said. Why are you giving it to me?”
“Because, other than Joe Quinn, you care the most for Eve. It’s intensely personal with you, and you’ll fight to the death to get her back. You don’t have to strike a balance like Venable. There is no other answer for you.”
“That’s right, there isn’t.” She touched the cover. “You’re not asking me to keep it from Venable.”
“Your decision. I’ve made a copy of my own. I’ve told you my opinion, but you’re going to be on the ground running, and I’m going to be in San Diego. I’m only asking you to think long and hard about it.”
“I’ve already thought about it. I’ll show it to Joe, and we’ll discuss it, but Venable isn’t going to get it until his motivations are a hell of a lot more clear.”
“That’s a relief. Look, Catherine Ling is here. If you need someone of CIA caliber, I think you can trust her to look out for Eve and nothing else.” She made a face. “There I go again, trying to run the show. You don’t know how hard it was for me to give up control.”
“I think I do,” she said quietly. “I’ve learned a lot about you since you came to search for Eve.” She paused. “And all I’ve learned is good, Kendra.”
“Naturally, at least, in my areas of expertise.”
“That wasn’t what I was talking about. You have a good heart. I trust you.”
“And that’s a true honor,” Kendra said. “I’ve noticed that your trust is pretty well limited to Quinn and Eve.”
Jane lifted her shoulders in a half shrug. “It comes from being a street kid. I was in a dozen foster homes before Eve took me into her life. Everything would seem to go well for a while, then suddenly I’d be sent back to DEFACS. Or maybe it wouldn’t go so well, and I’d purposely do something that would make them kick me out. Either way, it wasn’t a lifestyle to inspire trust.”
“Even with Mark Trevor?” Kendra asked. “I’ve only gotten to know him during the days he’s been here after Colorado, but I’d say that he’s worth taking a chance on.” She smiled. “Besides being fantastically good-looking and totally charming. Quinn told me that he was your lover but that you broke up a year or so ago.” She held up her hand. “Forget I asked. It’s none of my business. It’s just my nature to probe into everything around me. Give me an inch, and I’ll take a mile.”
“I don’t mind,” Jane said. “Not from you. Trevor is all of those things. He was my first love, and he made me dizzy from the moment I met him.”
“But you
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