There was no necktie on his door
knob; he wasn’t with anyone.
For a long moment I was just standing there, the
music pounding around me, the sound of a couple hundred people partying below.
The one drink hadn’t been enough to get me drunk, but it had left my brain
fuzzy, and I didn’t quite know if I was ready. What if Zack didn’t want to talk
to me? I pressed my lips together. My hands felt like they were weighted down
with lead. I swallowed against the tightness I felt in my throat. I just had to
get through it, I told myself. If he didn’t want to hear me out, I’d at least
know that it was done with us permanently. I lifted my hand to knock on the
door; it fell to my side once more as I continued to stand there. If he sent me
away without hearing me out—if he didn’t answer or if he did and then just told
me not to bother, I’d have to be ready to walk through the frat house without
looking like I was going to cry. I took a deep breath and lifted my hand again.
I knocked on the door quick and hard, my knuckles stinging from it—I wanted to
make sure that Zack could hear me over the music.
“ Yo ! I’m not feeling it!”
he called out from inside. My heart fluttered in my chest and I knocked again.
“I said I’m not feeling it, bro!” I knocked a third time.
Instead of calling out again, after a moment, the
door opened abruptly, showing Zack standing there, changed out of his toga—if
he’d ever been in a toga in the first place. He was standing there with an
irritated look on his face, in a pair of worn jeans and a tee shirt. The
irritable look dissolved in a moment, as soon as he saw that it was me . I blushed as Zack’s gaze traveled up and down along my
whole body, taking me in slowly, a mixture of surprise and consternation on his
face. The red Solo cup was still in my hand and I fidgeted with it, smiling
nervously.
“ Evie ,” He said; I could
barely hear him over the music.
“Yeah, it’s me,” I said, my throat tight. “Can I
talk to you for a minute?”
Zack’s eyes widened and he opened the door wider. “Yeah—yeah, absolutely.”
I stepped into Zack’s room and my knees went weak.
It was cleaner than I would have expected; there was a pile of dirty laundry
next to the closet, but there was no trash hanging around, only a few empty
reusable water bottles. It smelled like him, and I closed my eyes for a moment,
breathing it in. I turned in time to see Zack closing the door and I wondered
if he had put a necktie on the knob—to signal that we needed privacy. I wasn’t
sure whether or not I wanted everyone to think that Zack was having sex.
“I…” I licked my lips, leaning against his bed,
unsure of how to actually start saying what I was there to tell him.
“It’s so good to see you. What did I do, Evie ?”
I shook my head. “You didn’t do anything, it’s not
your fault, it’s my fault.” Words were tumbling out of
my lips in an unsteady rush. “There’s…I’ve been an idiot. Just…okay. I’m sorry; I just don’t really know how to explain it.”
“ Evie , calm down,” Zack
said, smiling faintly. He moved closer to me and kissed me lightly on the
cheek. “Just say what you came to say. I swear I’ll listen to you—I won’t
interrupt.”
I swallowed again, wishing I hadn’t had the drink
that the brother at the door had handed to me.
“Okay.” I took a deep breath and tried to collect my
thoughts. “So the other day, after…I guess after practice…there was a guy
hanging out at my dorm room door.” Zack raised an eyebrow, but he didn’t say
anything to interrupt me. “I recognized him; he was someone from your team.
Anyway, he told me he would consider it a personal favor if I would stop
hanging out with you, if I would just leave you alone. He didn’t really give me
any reasons. At first, I just sort of brushed it off. I told him if he didn’t
get the hell away from my room I’d call the RAs.” I smiled slightly.
“That sounds
knob; he wasn’t with anyone.
For a long moment I was just standing there, the
music pounding around me, the sound of a couple hundred people partying below.
The one drink hadn’t been enough to get me drunk, but it had left my brain
fuzzy, and I didn’t quite know if I was ready. What if Zack didn’t want to talk
to me? I pressed my lips together. My hands felt like they were weighted down
with lead. I swallowed against the tightness I felt in my throat. I just had to
get through it, I told myself. If he didn’t want to hear me out, I’d at least
know that it was done with us permanently. I lifted my hand to knock on the
door; it fell to my side once more as I continued to stand there. If he sent me
away without hearing me out—if he didn’t answer or if he did and then just told
me not to bother, I’d have to be ready to walk through the frat house without
looking like I was going to cry. I took a deep breath and lifted my hand again.
I knocked on the door quick and hard, my knuckles stinging from it—I wanted to
make sure that Zack could hear me over the music.
“ Yo ! I’m not feeling it!”
he called out from inside. My heart fluttered in my chest and I knocked again.
“I said I’m not feeling it, bro!” I knocked a third time.
Instead of calling out again, after a moment, the
door opened abruptly, showing Zack standing there, changed out of his toga—if
he’d ever been in a toga in the first place. He was standing there with an
irritated look on his face, in a pair of worn jeans and a tee shirt. The
irritable look dissolved in a moment, as soon as he saw that it was me . I blushed as Zack’s gaze traveled up and down along my
whole body, taking me in slowly, a mixture of surprise and consternation on his
face. The red Solo cup was still in my hand and I fidgeted with it, smiling
nervously.
“ Evie ,” He said; I could
barely hear him over the music.
“Yeah, it’s me,” I said, my throat tight. “Can I
talk to you for a minute?”
Zack’s eyes widened and he opened the door wider. “Yeah—yeah, absolutely.”
I stepped into Zack’s room and my knees went weak.
It was cleaner than I would have expected; there was a pile of dirty laundry
next to the closet, but there was no trash hanging around, only a few empty
reusable water bottles. It smelled like him, and I closed my eyes for a moment,
breathing it in. I turned in time to see Zack closing the door and I wondered
if he had put a necktie on the knob—to signal that we needed privacy. I wasn’t
sure whether or not I wanted everyone to think that Zack was having sex.
“I…” I licked my lips, leaning against his bed,
unsure of how to actually start saying what I was there to tell him.
“It’s so good to see you. What did I do, Evie ?”
I shook my head. “You didn’t do anything, it’s not
your fault, it’s my fault.” Words were tumbling out of
my lips in an unsteady rush. “There’s…I’ve been an idiot. Just…okay. I’m sorry; I just don’t really know how to explain it.”
“ Evie , calm down,” Zack
said, smiling faintly. He moved closer to me and kissed me lightly on the
cheek. “Just say what you came to say. I swear I’ll listen to you—I won’t
interrupt.”
I swallowed again, wishing I hadn’t had the drink
that the brother at the door had handed to me.
“Okay.” I took a deep breath and tried to collect my
thoughts. “So the other day, after…I guess after practice…there was a guy
hanging out at my dorm room door.” Zack raised an eyebrow, but he didn’t say
anything to interrupt me. “I recognized him; he was someone from your team.
Anyway, he told me he would consider it a personal favor if I would stop
hanging out with you, if I would just leave you alone. He didn’t really give me
any reasons. At first, I just sort of brushed it off. I told him if he didn’t
get the hell away from my room I’d call the RAs.” I smiled slightly.
“That sounds
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