Slow Sex: The Path to Fulfilling and Sustainable Sexuality by Diana Richardson Page A
Book: Slow Sex: The Path to Fulfilling and Sustainable Sexuality by Diana Richardson
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Authors: Diana Richardson
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times, especially when there is an intention to keep the temperature cooler through reducing excitement, it is not unusual to have no erection. In the usual approach, having sex is not an option without an erection—when erection fails, sex fails. However, in slow sex union is always an option because putting the penis in while soft and relaxed has great value, is easy to do, and comes highly recommended. A soft start to sex can become a regular thing, and you may find yourself choosing it as the optimal way to proceed with slow sex. A slow soft approach takes the pressure out of the situation because you can unite at any time you choose. Union is not dependent on stimulation, excitement, or erection.
Figure 4.7 illustrates the easiest position for penetration when there is no erection. Man lies on his side while woman lies on her back, and their legs intertwine in scissors-like fashion. It is recommended that this position be explored from both sides, with man lying first on one side of his body and then on the other. One side is likely to feel more familiar, cozy, and comfortable for you. The other side may feel more challenging in the sense that more is demanded of you in terms of awareness.
Fig. 4.7. Scissors position for soft penetration
This side-scissors position is only a suggestion for an easy starting point. The position per sex is of no great significance, except that it is a very relaxing position in that both are lying down and no one is on top. It’s a curious thing that the person taking the position on top generally feels compelled to do something in order to justify being in that upper position. This is man’s basic sexual reality because he is more frequently on top, the missionary position being very popular. But if a woman is sitting on top of a man, she will notice a similar performance pressure, an escalated need to do something. When lying on their backs or sides, both women and men do not feel such a clear, strong drive to “do.” In the scissors position man is, in fact, lying on his side, which is similar to the sleeping position, and can easily remind him of sleep. When the side position is mantained for quite a while it’s not unusual for a man to drop off to sleep on occasion. Women on the other hand, who are lying directly on the back, will find it less easy to fall asleep in this scissors position. A short sleep can be regenerating, so this is not a matter for concern. If the sleeping becomes a habit, though, it’s good to do some exercise before getting into bed, and to change position more often.
The side position is one from which many other positions can gradually be reached, through delicately rotating around the genital connection as illustrated earlier in figures 4.5 and 4.6. Yes, it’s usually possible with a soft relaxed penis, and remember, should the penis slip out it is easy to slip it in again and continue. Other suitable positions for managing soft penetration are those suggested earlier in figure 4.3, where man kneels in the middle, and figure 4.4, where the couple is rolled over to one side.
Woman Inserts Man’s Penis in Scissors Position
Before you move into position, it is recommended that you gently lubricate your own genitals, as described earlier in this chapter, or lovingly lubricate each other’s. Do whatever feels right in the moment. As soon as you are oiled up, move into the side position as shown above and bring your pelvises close together, with the vagina opposite the penis. From here the woman can proceed by taking the penis in her two hands and gently rolling back the foreskin or any tissues around the head of the penis, pulling down toward the root of the penis. The idea of this is to expose the head’s magnetic surface as much as possible in order to bring increased awareness to the radiant, dynamic qualities inherent in the penis.
Then, as shown in figure 4.8 below, woman (who should have short, rounded fingernails so that she does not
Figure 4.7 illustrates the easiest position for penetration when there is no erection. Man lies on his side while woman lies on her back, and their legs intertwine in scissors-like fashion. It is recommended that this position be explored from both sides, with man lying first on one side of his body and then on the other. One side is likely to feel more familiar, cozy, and comfortable for you. The other side may feel more challenging in the sense that more is demanded of you in terms of awareness.
Fig. 4.7. Scissors position for soft penetration
This side-scissors position is only a suggestion for an easy starting point. The position per sex is of no great significance, except that it is a very relaxing position in that both are lying down and no one is on top. It’s a curious thing that the person taking the position on top generally feels compelled to do something in order to justify being in that upper position. This is man’s basic sexual reality because he is more frequently on top, the missionary position being very popular. But if a woman is sitting on top of a man, she will notice a similar performance pressure, an escalated need to do something. When lying on their backs or sides, both women and men do not feel such a clear, strong drive to “do.” In the scissors position man is, in fact, lying on his side, which is similar to the sleeping position, and can easily remind him of sleep. When the side position is mantained for quite a while it’s not unusual for a man to drop off to sleep on occasion. Women on the other hand, who are lying directly on the back, will find it less easy to fall asleep in this scissors position. A short sleep can be regenerating, so this is not a matter for concern. If the sleeping becomes a habit, though, it’s good to do some exercise before getting into bed, and to change position more often.
The side position is one from which many other positions can gradually be reached, through delicately rotating around the genital connection as illustrated earlier in figures 4.5 and 4.6. Yes, it’s usually possible with a soft relaxed penis, and remember, should the penis slip out it is easy to slip it in again and continue. Other suitable positions for managing soft penetration are those suggested earlier in figure 4.3, where man kneels in the middle, and figure 4.4, where the couple is rolled over to one side.
Woman Inserts Man’s Penis in Scissors Position
Before you move into position, it is recommended that you gently lubricate your own genitals, as described earlier in this chapter, or lovingly lubricate each other’s. Do whatever feels right in the moment. As soon as you are oiled up, move into the side position as shown above and bring your pelvises close together, with the vagina opposite the penis. From here the woman can proceed by taking the penis in her two hands and gently rolling back the foreskin or any tissues around the head of the penis, pulling down toward the root of the penis. The idea of this is to expose the head’s magnetic surface as much as possible in order to bring increased awareness to the radiant, dynamic qualities inherent in the penis.
Then, as shown in figure 4.8 below, woman (who should have short, rounded fingernails so that she does not