Somebody to Love: Sigh With Contentment, Scream With Frustration. At Time You Will Weep. by Sheryl Browne

well.
    ‘Sweetie!’ she cried, spotting Sadie hopping precariously up the hall. ‘You came to greet me. Aw, hon…’ Donna bent down to stroke her faithful friend and felt a lot better, until she remembered tonight was Pilates night.
    Oh, she really did not want to go. She’d much rather stay at home and examine her heart about her feelings for Mark; and her conscience about her treatment of him.
    Why had she turned him down? She was a grown woman. She didn’t have to give all of herself, heart, body, and soul, until she knew him, knew whether he was interested in anything long term. And surely she could have handled it if he didn’t turn out to be as perfect as she needed him to be. Perhaps she could have, in time. She wouldn’t have time though, not now she’d pushed him away.
    She sighed, a shuddery sigh. She’d have to go to Pilates. Her sister would be insistent, being the healthy body equals healthy mind s ort and determined to keep in shape. Not that Alicia ever looked out of shape, as Jeremy hadn’t been slow to point out. Unlike Donna, Alicia was tall, beautiful and slender, even after having a baby.
    Donna sighed again and tried not to mind. Alicia was as mad as a hatter, as eccentric as their mother, always there for her — and Donna loved her to bits. No, she couldn’t let her sister down.
    Like she had Mark.
    Awash with guilt, Donna headed for the kitchen to check whether Findus was home or under the table. The table invariably, dining out on a carrot.
    ‘Hey, little one, how are you doing, hmm?’ Donna crouched down to trail the pad of her finger the length of his velvet-soft nose.
    ‘All right, hon?’ She blinked lovingly at him. Findus stopped gnawing his carrot to fix her with one sideways bright eye.
    ‘You’re all fur, aren’t you, sweetie, hey?’ Donna continued to stroke him, gentle strokes over his head — careful to avoid his sensitive ears — and down his back, feeling the fragility of his little bones beneath her fingers. ‘A big furry fluff-ball, aren’t you?’
    She reached to gather him up, as Findus warmed to her touch, always a bit wary, being a one guy kind of rabbit. ‘A gorgeous, big, furry fluff-ball,’ she cooed.
    Findus observed her, unmoved, bar a twitch or two of his nose.
    Donna smiled and twitched, and then kissed him; she couldn’t resist. ‘Smitten, aren’t I, sweetie, hey?’ She laughed as Findus offered her another startled twitch back, then held him close to pop him back safe in his cage.
    ‘Between you and me, I think I might be smitten with another gorgeous guy, Findus,’ she confided, nuzzling his cheek as she carried him there. ‘And I’m not sure I want to be,’ she fluffed up his hay and encouraged Findus to find his way home, ‘because I’m not sure I can give all of me.
    ‘So what should I do?’ she asked herself more than Findus, as she closed the cage door. Not that there was anything much to do, now she’d more or less told Mark where to go. She sighed again, then smiled, as Findus demonstrated his thoughts on the subject and hopped merrily into bed.
    ‘Hmm? I suspect this is more the male point of view, Findus,’ she told him, making sure the door was closed tight, then checking Sadie was safe on her chair, before trailing upstairs in search of sports gear that wouldn’t make her look like the back end of a bus. Should she ring Mark back, she debated. She could always say she was calling about the damp jacket he’d left behind when he’d read his urgent text. He couldn’t be very authoritative in only half a police uniform, after all. She walked over to where she’d hung it on the wardrobe door to dry. Brushed a bit of fluff from it. Trailed her hand over it. Sniffed it.
    It smelled of him. She breathed deep the citrussy scent of his aftershave. Joop Homme . Yes, definitely, Joop . She’d identified it in her lunch hour at Boots. Orange blossom, cinnamon, jasmine accented with amber, cedar, vanilla — and pure essence of