Something in My Eye: Stories by Michael Jeffrey Lee Page B

drove them in his car to Bessy’s house. She lived several miles outside of town in a cabin paid for by her brother, who was very rich. Pate and Larsen got out of the car and walked to the cabin. They stopped under the window, where the blinds were raised a crack. They could see part of the bed and part of the floor, and a leg that dangled off the bed but did not touch the floor.
    â€œMakes me sick,” said Pate. “Probably spooning.”
    â€œWhose leg is that?” said Larsen.
    â€œFuck does it matter?” said Pate. “Either it’s a leg belonging to a man that’s about to go a-whoring or it isn’t.”
    â€œHow do we get him out here?” said Larsen.
    Pate thought for a moment. “We talk to Bessy first.”
    â€œWhy?”
    â€œWe convince her that Sonny needs to go a-whoring to get it out of his system, then she goes inside and prods Sonny for us. We talk to Sonny first and he’ll refuse outright, on principle. Then we’ll have a real scene on our hands. Now what would make a lady come outside before a man?”
    â€œA baby crying?” said Larsen.
    â€œThat’s it,” said Pate. “Make that baby cry noise you do so well.”
    Larsen began to whimper, then lifted his voice into pealing cries. They watched the leg right itself on the floor. Then another leg came down to meet it, and the legs walked themselves to the door.
    â€œKeep it up,” said Pate.

    They heard the screen door open and close, and Bessy appeared before them under the window. She wore a thong and carried a bottle of milk. She was beautiful.
    â€œYou always greet crying babies with thongs?” said Pate.
    â€œHi, Pate,” said Bessy. “Hi, Larsen. I heard a baby crying out here, where is he or she?”
    â€œJust us babies,” said Pate. He and Larsen laughed. Larsen made the crying noise again.
    â€œI’ve heard Larsen’s impression before,” said Bessy. “This was different.” She poked around in the weeds and in the ditch, looking for the baby.
    â€œWe wanted to ask if Sonny could come out with us tonight?” said Larsen.
    â€œSonny’s no prisoner,” said Bessy. “Where are you going?”
    â€œA-whoring,” said Pate. “I believe in honesty first.”
    â€œYou boys use protection when you go a-whoring?” said Bessy.
    â€œOf course,” said Larsen.
    â€œAlways,” said Pate.
    â€œWell,” said Bessy. “Seeing as a-whoring is just about the only thing Sonny and I can’t do together, it’ll make it all that more special for him.”
    â€œCan you go inside and prod him?” said Pate.
    â€œSonny doesn’t like it when we prod him,” said Larsen.
    â€œI’ll prod him and send him along,” said Bessy. “You boys have fun tonight.”
    Pate and Larsen said goodbye to Bessy and walked to the car. Pate told Larsen to sit in the backseat. They sat in the car together with the heater on, waiting for Sonny.
    â€œBessy is really considerate,” said Larsen.
    â€œImmodest, though,” said Pate. He honked the horn.
    After a while, Sonny appeared in the headlights. He wore a fur coat, and was slightly better-looking than his friends. He sat down in the passenger seat.

    â€œHowdy, stranger,” said Pate. He started to drive to the whorehouse.
    â€œHello, Sonny,” said Larsen.
    â€œBessy tells me we’re going a-whoring,” said Sonny.
    â€œSure are,” said Pate. “You know what day it is, don’t you?”
    â€œBessy has me all turned around,” said Sonny.
    â€œIt’s Friday, for your information,” said Pate. “Friday and payday. What kind of shit coat is that?”
    â€œIt was a gift from Bessy,” said Sonny. “I like it.”
    â€œI guess it’s good to have you back,” said Pate.
    â€œIt’s good to be back,” said Sonny, yawning.
    â€œAre you too tired