Songbird by Jamie Campbell

turn around again. The entire time I could feel Forest’s eyes drilling into the back of me. He was probably so angry that I had blown him off for our drink without even an explanation. I hated the thought of anyone not liking me but that was going to be one cross I had to bear. It was for the greater good.
    The moment the sound check was done, I left the stage and headed for my dressing room. I was going to hide out in there for as long as possible. Nobody dared come into my room before a show. They knew it was the time I needed to prepare myself – both physically and mentally. It took a lot of nerve to get up on stage in front of thousands of people and entertain them for an hour and a half. Anything could happen with an audience, I needed to get in the zone.
    At least, that’s what people assumed. Really, I normally listened to music and played games on my phone. It was just a way to pass the time, not meditate on the meaning of life or anything.
    The best part of being backstage before a show was normally the food. I could literally request anything and they would make sure they stocked it for me. I had heard stories from my friends about all the crazy things they would order just to test whether they would get it. Everything from a bowl of only yellow M&M ’s to apples cut into exactly sixteen wedges. They each got what they requested.
    My list – or rider as was known in the business – consisted of nothing except some fruit, a sandwich, raspberry lollipops, tea, and chocolate. I wasn’t even specific about what kind I wanted. I would have been happy with anything they gave me. Except for the tea, it had to be peach and orange. I needed it for my throat so I could sing without straining my vocal chords.
    Sure enough, waiting in my dressing room was what I requested. There was more than enough for one person and definitely more than enough for someone with a recovering eating disorder.
    I called Demi in to help me. She would eat anything. I picked up half of the salad sandwich and starting nibbling away on it.
    We spoke about everything but the show while we ate and pretended to get into the zone. Talking about the concert was even more stressful than doing it so she knew to keep my mind occupied.
    With only an hour to go until the show, my hair and makeup team arrived at my door. They attended to dressing me in the floor-length gown I was to wear for the opening portion. It was a beautiful scarlet red and cascaded down to the floor in an ocean of waves. I loved it, it was definitely a keeper. Hopefully I wouldn’t be too rough with it on stage or in the quick change.
    When my make up was done, I was finished. I looked in the mirror. Besides being a little skinnier than I was for the last tour, I did still look like the Brierly Wilcox everyone knew. When I got up on that stage, nobody would be able to tell the difference. That was what I hoped, anyway.
    The ten minute buzzer sounded and I left the peaceful space of my dressing room to stand in the wings of the stage. The crowds in the stadium were screaming, they were so loud I wondered how they could hear anything out there.
    “Show circle!” Demi called, making all my dancers and band join me. It was supposed to be a tradition. All the performers would stand around in a circle and say a prayer or just a few words to pump each other up for the show. That was what it was supposed to be.
    However, I knew Demi’s secret. What she really did was a quick headcount to make sure everyone was there. She could quickly tell if anyone was missing. Plus, by putting us all in the one place, we would be able to get on stage in time. There would be no-one missing when it was time. She was a cunning woman, Demi, and I loved her for it.
    Everyone in the circle looked at me for direction. I hadn’t planned anything. I guessed I was going to have to think on my feet. “Thank you God for bringing us here tonight, please give us the strength and ability to entertain all those