remember sleeping with two of those girls.."
"Perhaps he should make an effort to stay sober during his one-night stands," I suggest.
"So what, you've just decided to make sex tapes to protect yourself from lawsuits?" Morgan asks, disgusted.
Biff raises his eyebrows. "I didn't say that. I said that I didn't make a sex tape of us, and if you have one, I don't know where it came from."
"If you ever release that tape, I promise you'll be sorry," Morgan growls at him. She stands there for a minute, hands clenched, as if she has something else to say or do, then she finally storms out the door.
I shoot Biff a glare. "She means that," I say, hoping I sound as threatening as a bad horror-movie killer.
Biff actually snorts as I walk out the door. "I'm really afraid."
Chapter Eight
"So what are you going to do now?" I ask Morgan. We're sitting around the table at The Tiki Hut, a restaurant as small and cheap as its name suggests. I am recording this conversation; at first, Tiffany was against it, but we all wanted to eat lunch early (breakfast got kind of lost in the shuffle of things) so we needed to record any spending we did. We could choose not to release this video – if we don't stream it live, it gets stored on our channel and we can release it later or delete it. But since Morgan wanted to ask Tiffany's advice, I pointed out that everyone would probably have heard at least a rumor of the sex tape anyway. Tiffany spreads gossip the way a star quarterback spreads an STD.
"What do poor people do when they get into this situation?" Morgan asks. “I mean, since we're on a tight budget here.”
" Well, if you can't afford to pay off blackmailers you have a few options," Richard says. "One, you could try to avoid situations where someone might be able to blackmail you with something-"
"Bo-oring," Tiffany intones.
“ Reusing and recycling might not help with this particular situation,” I admit.
"There are bigger problems," Matt says. "Sometimes you can't see those situations coming. Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything. But, you know, I might have a friend who spent years paying someone off to keep a sex tape off the internet."
"Or someone could frame you or leave you holding the bag for something you had nothing to do with," I say. "Not that I've ever done that . "
"Of course." Richard rolls the salt shaker between his hands. "You're all innocent of everything here."
"Really, even if you have the money, paying off a blackmailer isn't a good idea." I ignore his sarcasm. "They're just going to keep coming back for more, like what happened to Matt...'s friend."
"So what do you do?" Morgan asks.
"What most poor people do is let the tape get released and sue someone, either the person who made it or the site that released it or both," Tiffany says, and for once she's actually making sense. Hey, they say even a stopped clock is right twice a day - although I've never known what they mean by that, since stopped clocks usually just go dark and don't show any time at all.
"You think I should just let him get away with this?" Morgan hisses at her.
"No, no, not at all," Tiffany says, staring down at her lap. I get the impression she's adding up the cost of what she wants to order on her fingers. I told you this place was cheap. "He doesn't get away with anything when you sue him for...what do you call it?"
"Video voyeurism?" I suggest. "I don't remember what the law is exactly, but I'm pretty sure recording someone without their knowledge or consent is at least a tort."
"A what?" Charlie looks up from his menu.
"A tort means something you can get sued for," I say. "A crime is something you can get hauled off to jail for, like the guy with the Ponzi schemes. That's about all I remember from media law." I have the memory of an elephant, by the way; I just didn't study much for that class because it bored the crap out of me.
"So you sue Biff's ass off, and you make a bunch of money," Tiffany says, waving
"Perhaps he should make an effort to stay sober during his one-night stands," I suggest.
"So what, you've just decided to make sex tapes to protect yourself from lawsuits?" Morgan asks, disgusted.
Biff raises his eyebrows. "I didn't say that. I said that I didn't make a sex tape of us, and if you have one, I don't know where it came from."
"If you ever release that tape, I promise you'll be sorry," Morgan growls at him. She stands there for a minute, hands clenched, as if she has something else to say or do, then she finally storms out the door.
I shoot Biff a glare. "She means that," I say, hoping I sound as threatening as a bad horror-movie killer.
Biff actually snorts as I walk out the door. "I'm really afraid."
Chapter Eight
"So what are you going to do now?" I ask Morgan. We're sitting around the table at The Tiki Hut, a restaurant as small and cheap as its name suggests. I am recording this conversation; at first, Tiffany was against it, but we all wanted to eat lunch early (breakfast got kind of lost in the shuffle of things) so we needed to record any spending we did. We could choose not to release this video – if we don't stream it live, it gets stored on our channel and we can release it later or delete it. But since Morgan wanted to ask Tiffany's advice, I pointed out that everyone would probably have heard at least a rumor of the sex tape anyway. Tiffany spreads gossip the way a star quarterback spreads an STD.
"What do poor people do when they get into this situation?" Morgan asks. “I mean, since we're on a tight budget here.”
" Well, if you can't afford to pay off blackmailers you have a few options," Richard says. "One, you could try to avoid situations where someone might be able to blackmail you with something-"
"Bo-oring," Tiffany intones.
“ Reusing and recycling might not help with this particular situation,” I admit.
"There are bigger problems," Matt says. "Sometimes you can't see those situations coming. Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything. But, you know, I might have a friend who spent years paying someone off to keep a sex tape off the internet."
"Or someone could frame you or leave you holding the bag for something you had nothing to do with," I say. "Not that I've ever done that . "
"Of course." Richard rolls the salt shaker between his hands. "You're all innocent of everything here."
"Really, even if you have the money, paying off a blackmailer isn't a good idea." I ignore his sarcasm. "They're just going to keep coming back for more, like what happened to Matt...'s friend."
"So what do you do?" Morgan asks.
"What most poor people do is let the tape get released and sue someone, either the person who made it or the site that released it or both," Tiffany says, and for once she's actually making sense. Hey, they say even a stopped clock is right twice a day - although I've never known what they mean by that, since stopped clocks usually just go dark and don't show any time at all.
"You think I should just let him get away with this?" Morgan hisses at her.
"No, no, not at all," Tiffany says, staring down at her lap. I get the impression she's adding up the cost of what she wants to order on her fingers. I told you this place was cheap. "He doesn't get away with anything when you sue him for...what do you call it?"
"Video voyeurism?" I suggest. "I don't remember what the law is exactly, but I'm pretty sure recording someone without their knowledge or consent is at least a tort."
"A what?" Charlie looks up from his menu.
"A tort means something you can get sued for," I say. "A crime is something you can get hauled off to jail for, like the guy with the Ponzi schemes. That's about all I remember from media law." I have the memory of an elephant, by the way; I just didn't study much for that class because it bored the crap out of me.
"So you sue Biff's ass off, and you make a bunch of money," Tiffany says, waving
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