Joker was inside the cabin and Lulah probably minutes away. Calliope watched as he drove off.
VINCE’S BACKPACK BIT into his shoulders and he gave them a slow roll. The weight was comforting, like a hug. Hot, hot hell, it was good to feel something. He locked the pickup and started up the track. On the trail, he could control the chaos. Nobody to harm, no expectations, no emotional investment with anybody else. Simply encounter, react, encounter, react. Burn off some stress and reduce the commotion in his head.
He’d let Lulah down and right now there wasn’t one thing he could do to make that better, because until he improved he had to be a selfish ass. He should stay away from her, tell her she needed to find someone else to help with her course work. If he could find another place to do his woodwork, and ask one of the others at the Sanctuary to watch Calliope for him, he’d be sweet. Sorted.
Lulah in lycra.
What a sight she was in her yoga gear. The pants that hugged her butt, that little top that curved around her pert breasts, small and perfectly formed, and memorable. With that white spiky hair she looked like an imp. A sexy, mischievous sprite. If this day had started differently and traveled another route he could have been there with her, at the yoga class. Sure, his mind didn’t steady much but it usually finished up a pleasant hour where he could set his thoughts aside and concentrate on his physical self.
A quiet practice of stillness… not for me tonight .
It was time to disembark from this train of thought. He picked up his pace to a slow jog to reach the ridge where he could pitch his tent before sunset. Once camp was made he would let his demons loose for a mid-evening workout. There were times when yoga didn’t cut it for the monsters. They were more inclined to enjoy a sparring session over sun salutations.
The demons hadn’t been contained for some time now. And the divorce papers lit a blaze up their butts.
Thank you, Taryn. Yeah, I know our marriage is fucked, but a phone call, a warning—would that be too much to ask? And what about Gable? What story are you spinning her about why Daddy doesn’t come home to see his girl these days?
It’s a big mess in here, Lulah. Best you stay away.
His marriage died before his last deployment. Taryn could scarcely hide her pleasure when he received his orders. But Gable? She wasn’t much over a year old when he’d left and when he returned they were strangers. She called him Daddy with an odd look on her face, as if someone had lied and she was still trying to figure out exactly who.
The episode was probably the driving force behind the divorce. Episode? What the fuck? That wasn’t an episode , it was a full-blown gaggle-fucking meltdown. But, hey, call it an episode and nobody has to ride in the van wearing the back-buckle jacket. The neighbors don’t enjoy their chance to talk. The wife doesn’t feel humiliated.
Perhaps that van ride might have done him some favors in the long run.
In the wilderness, he wore the night like a cloak. It should have set every trigger ready to fire, yet it made him feel safe and strong. When the fearful energy built inside him he could deal with it out here, try a couple of things and use what worked.
Yeah, Lulah, I’m a selfish prick, but God, I’m working so hard on making myself better. Thing is, I can’t be the person you want me to be until I’m whole again. And there’s no pain worse than the one that tackles you to the ground and rebuilds you. Some days I believe I’ll find my soul again. On other days it’s too dark to contemplate.
Chapter 7
L ULAH SAT IN the office with Adam and Marlo. Calliope and Joker were outside with their dog, Justice, playing a noisy game of canine wrestling.
“Mike will be here in fifteen,” Adam said, “and I want to talk about Vince before he arrives. That didn’t go too well yesterday, huh?”
“Understatement much?” Lulah thought about Vince’s note
VINCE’S BACKPACK BIT into his shoulders and he gave them a slow roll. The weight was comforting, like a hug. Hot, hot hell, it was good to feel something. He locked the pickup and started up the track. On the trail, he could control the chaos. Nobody to harm, no expectations, no emotional investment with anybody else. Simply encounter, react, encounter, react. Burn off some stress and reduce the commotion in his head.
He’d let Lulah down and right now there wasn’t one thing he could do to make that better, because until he improved he had to be a selfish ass. He should stay away from her, tell her she needed to find someone else to help with her course work. If he could find another place to do his woodwork, and ask one of the others at the Sanctuary to watch Calliope for him, he’d be sweet. Sorted.
Lulah in lycra.
What a sight she was in her yoga gear. The pants that hugged her butt, that little top that curved around her pert breasts, small and perfectly formed, and memorable. With that white spiky hair she looked like an imp. A sexy, mischievous sprite. If this day had started differently and traveled another route he could have been there with her, at the yoga class. Sure, his mind didn’t steady much but it usually finished up a pleasant hour where he could set his thoughts aside and concentrate on his physical self.
A quiet practice of stillness… not for me tonight .
It was time to disembark from this train of thought. He picked up his pace to a slow jog to reach the ridge where he could pitch his tent before sunset. Once camp was made he would let his demons loose for a mid-evening workout. There were times when yoga didn’t cut it for the monsters. They were more inclined to enjoy a sparring session over sun salutations.
The demons hadn’t been contained for some time now. And the divorce papers lit a blaze up their butts.
Thank you, Taryn. Yeah, I know our marriage is fucked, but a phone call, a warning—would that be too much to ask? And what about Gable? What story are you spinning her about why Daddy doesn’t come home to see his girl these days?
It’s a big mess in here, Lulah. Best you stay away.
His marriage died before his last deployment. Taryn could scarcely hide her pleasure when he received his orders. But Gable? She wasn’t much over a year old when he’d left and when he returned they were strangers. She called him Daddy with an odd look on her face, as if someone had lied and she was still trying to figure out exactly who.
The episode was probably the driving force behind the divorce. Episode? What the fuck? That wasn’t an episode , it was a full-blown gaggle-fucking meltdown. But, hey, call it an episode and nobody has to ride in the van wearing the back-buckle jacket. The neighbors don’t enjoy their chance to talk. The wife doesn’t feel humiliated.
Perhaps that van ride might have done him some favors in the long run.
In the wilderness, he wore the night like a cloak. It should have set every trigger ready to fire, yet it made him feel safe and strong. When the fearful energy built inside him he could deal with it out here, try a couple of things and use what worked.
Yeah, Lulah, I’m a selfish prick, but God, I’m working so hard on making myself better. Thing is, I can’t be the person you want me to be until I’m whole again. And there’s no pain worse than the one that tackles you to the ground and rebuilds you. Some days I believe I’ll find my soul again. On other days it’s too dark to contemplate.
Chapter 7
L ULAH SAT IN the office with Adam and Marlo. Calliope and Joker were outside with their dog, Justice, playing a noisy game of canine wrestling.
“Mike will be here in fifteen,” Adam said, “and I want to talk about Vince before he arrives. That didn’t go too well yesterday, huh?”
“Understatement much?” Lulah thought about Vince’s note
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