all spent up! I quite fancy Barbados, this year, splash out on a real bit of luxury. One of the doctors at work says it’s amazing. Our grown up world is something to really look forward to, how ever we spend our money and time. Even just lazy weekends reading the newspapers and pub lunches in the countryside seem attractive when there’s no underlying wish that it could be different. I must remember to pray for our new future at church on Sunday.
And that meal was fabulous. I could eat my prawn starter all over again and that chocolate fudge cake was to die for. I’m glad Tim’s driving so I can finish that bottle of wine before he drops me back at home. There is something to be said for peaceful child-free restaurants too. We’d probably have ended up in fast food outlets every weekend with children; fine dining would have become a distant memory.
I can’t believe it has taken me so long to realise what my priorities are in life. The world expects every married couple to produce offspring and when they don’t, they feel like a failure. We are not failures; we are fully satisfied human beings with a wonderful relationship and successful careers. Why should I care what the world wants when all I want is a quiet life, with my husband, enjoying the fruits of our labour? I had become so wrapped up in my baby tunnel that I couldn’t see this truth.
I will keep my promise to lose weight though. And I’m going to be serious about it this time. No more take aways, no more chocolate or crisps and I’m going to go to the gym with a better attitude. Victoria Beckham doesn’t look that good without a little hard work and sacrifice. Pretending I was eating well and being half hearted about exercise was just getting me down. This is where my downward spiral stops.
Right. Tim’s going to wonder what on Earth I’ve been doing in here for so long. I’m glad there was no-one else in here; they’d’ve thought I was bonkers too, putting my lippy on three times and admiring at myself in the mirror. Nothing wrong with a little but of daydreaming now and again. Anyway, Tim said he was going to ask for the bill. That’ll leave just enough time to finish the wine and then Tim’ll drop me back at home on his way to the airport.
ME
Oh how I enjoyed that! Once the disorientation has settled, rejoining the human race is actually quite sublime. In my timeless, weightless, shapeless state I had forgotten what it is to be alive. To be real again and to feel again, floods me with desire to be reborn.
To feel Vicky’s clothes against her skin reignited my sensations. The cool, silky material enveloped her body and every fibre seemed to tease her nerve endings as she moved throughout the evening.
My senses, once fully awake, became intoxicated when Sarah devoured her lunch. Sweet followed savoury, rough combined with smooth and sent me to forgotten heights of ecstasy. Never before had I appreciated a full culinary experience, from the first flavours detected by the taste buds on our tongues to the divine feeling of satisfaction at the pit of the stomach.
Now on a mission to experience these basic human functions, I tuned into the smells around me. Although Nell despised it, I absorbed the smell of that hospital with a thirst that could not be quenched. Disinfectant pervades, in its attempt to triumph over the others but a keen nose can detect all sorts of other odours in such a place. Bodily excretions are in abundance there: blood, vomit, sweat, urine, faeces. No-one wants to see them or smell them or even admit that they exist but we all know that without them, we could not function as human beings.
I even found great pleasure in listening to Shannon’s parents arguing. Of course, my great sadness lay with the innocent plight of the girl and her brother. However, to hear two people so passionate about their point of view that their voices battle for supremacy and invade the silence of all those around
And that meal was fabulous. I could eat my prawn starter all over again and that chocolate fudge cake was to die for. I’m glad Tim’s driving so I can finish that bottle of wine before he drops me back at home. There is something to be said for peaceful child-free restaurants too. We’d probably have ended up in fast food outlets every weekend with children; fine dining would have become a distant memory.
I can’t believe it has taken me so long to realise what my priorities are in life. The world expects every married couple to produce offspring and when they don’t, they feel like a failure. We are not failures; we are fully satisfied human beings with a wonderful relationship and successful careers. Why should I care what the world wants when all I want is a quiet life, with my husband, enjoying the fruits of our labour? I had become so wrapped up in my baby tunnel that I couldn’t see this truth.
I will keep my promise to lose weight though. And I’m going to be serious about it this time. No more take aways, no more chocolate or crisps and I’m going to go to the gym with a better attitude. Victoria Beckham doesn’t look that good without a little hard work and sacrifice. Pretending I was eating well and being half hearted about exercise was just getting me down. This is where my downward spiral stops.
Right. Tim’s going to wonder what on Earth I’ve been doing in here for so long. I’m glad there was no-one else in here; they’d’ve thought I was bonkers too, putting my lippy on three times and admiring at myself in the mirror. Nothing wrong with a little but of daydreaming now and again. Anyway, Tim said he was going to ask for the bill. That’ll leave just enough time to finish the wine and then Tim’ll drop me back at home on his way to the airport.
ME
Oh how I enjoyed that! Once the disorientation has settled, rejoining the human race is actually quite sublime. In my timeless, weightless, shapeless state I had forgotten what it is to be alive. To be real again and to feel again, floods me with desire to be reborn.
To feel Vicky’s clothes against her skin reignited my sensations. The cool, silky material enveloped her body and every fibre seemed to tease her nerve endings as she moved throughout the evening.
My senses, once fully awake, became intoxicated when Sarah devoured her lunch. Sweet followed savoury, rough combined with smooth and sent me to forgotten heights of ecstasy. Never before had I appreciated a full culinary experience, from the first flavours detected by the taste buds on our tongues to the divine feeling of satisfaction at the pit of the stomach.
Now on a mission to experience these basic human functions, I tuned into the smells around me. Although Nell despised it, I absorbed the smell of that hospital with a thirst that could not be quenched. Disinfectant pervades, in its attempt to triumph over the others but a keen nose can detect all sorts of other odours in such a place. Bodily excretions are in abundance there: blood, vomit, sweat, urine, faeces. No-one wants to see them or smell them or even admit that they exist but we all know that without them, we could not function as human beings.
I even found great pleasure in listening to Shannon’s parents arguing. Of course, my great sadness lay with the innocent plight of the girl and her brother. However, to hear two people so passionate about their point of view that their voices battle for supremacy and invade the silence of all those around
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