Soulful Strut by Lynn Emery

Their
self-esteem was so fragile.
    “You can see this when I’m through,” Monette
said in a casual tone.
    “Yeah, sure.” Tyeisha craned her neck and
read across Monette’s shoulder.
    The screen door slammed and Monette looked
up. Yarva and Lenore came down the back steps. Yarva wore
sunglasses, and a cigarette hung from her mouth. She exuded a lot
of street attitude as she approached.
    “So she’s a college girl, too. My, my.” Yarva
strolled by Monette. She sat with Tyeisha and Candi at the picnic
table.
    “Monette got too much brains to do what
everybody else does,” Candi replied.
    Yarva sat on the end of the table. “Guess we
can’t all have it so sweet.”
    Monette exhaled. She might as well deal with
Yarva again. She turned in her chair and looked at her. “You could
go to school, too.”
    “Yeah, right. Spend time around a lot of
uppity folks lookin’ down their noses at me. I’m keepin’ it real.”
Yarva looked at Tyeisha as though her words were meant for her
alone.
    ‘They might not even let me in that school.
Don’t they ask you about having been in prison on those college
applications?” Tyeisha bit her bottom lip like a kid worried about
the principal.
    “Yes, but schools want to help people make a
new start in life.” Monette gave Tyeisha a crooked smile of
encouragement. “If they let me take courses, they’ll let anybody
in.”
    “Hell, since you put it like that, I might
even crack a book. Got to get my high school certificate first,
though.” Candi let out a gruff laugh as she climbed down off the
table. She walked over to stand behind Monette and look over her
shoulder.
    Lenore had been watering a small plot of
flowers along the wooden fence. She put down the garden hose and
crossed the grass. “Maybe I could take some business classes. You
know, for when I start my own beauty shop.”
    “Good idea. Most small-business people need
to learn bookkeeping and stuff like that. Baton Rouge Community
College has a little something for everybody.” Monette pushed the
catalog away from her so they all could see it better.
    Yarva puffed in silence for a long while as
the other women gathered at the patio table, chattering away. She
finally crushed the smoldering butt in the large metal ashtray on
the picnic table. “Y’all just lettin’ her put a lot of crap in your
heads.”
    “Don’t hate, appreciate,” Candi retorted
without looking at her.
    “Okay. Let me ask a few questions. How you
gonna pay for school? They ain’t lettin’ you in free I don’t care
how tenderhearted they are.” Yarva wore a look of satisfaction when
the women stopped talking.
    “There are grants and student loans,” Monette
replied. She recognized the bitter expression Yarva wore. She’d met
a lot of people like her over the years. More than a few had
succeeded in convincing Monette her dreams were silly. Her mother
and older sisters had been the first.
    “They’re gonna give that money to sweet
little innocent kids outta high school who don’t have arrest
records. Dope-usin’ ex-cons are at the bottom of the list, ladies.”
Yarva’s husky laugh dripped scorn.
    “Yeah, they ask about convictions on those
applications, too.” Tyeisha slumped back in her chair.
    “That’s what I’m sayin’ Yarva pressed on now
that she had their attention. “ ’Scuse me, Monette. You got money
comin’ in from a big-time book deal. People beatin’ on the door to
pay you speaking fees. Not us.”
    Lenore pushed a thick section of her black
hair behind one ear. “I probably won’t get the money to start a
business anyway.”
    “Banks don’t just beg people to come in so
they can give out loans either,” Yarva said.
    ‘There are plenty of options. There are even
foundations that encourage women who have had troubles like us to
apply,” Monette said with fervor. Yarva’s bad vibe had killed the
air of optimism that had barely taken root “At least I’m making
some money at the discount store,”