expense of my heart, and I seem to be missing some crucial element to who he is because I saw an angel and Becca saw a jerk.
Becca watches me think, her bright, sparkling eyes catching the emotions boiling under my surface. My senses hop into overdrive and I feel warm and golden and bruised and purple and so damned uncomfortable I don’t know what to do. “It just sucks being me. That’s all.”
Becca clenches her eyebrows together and I see genuine sympathy on her face. “I know. I’m sorry. I try to help but sometimes I think I make it harder on you.” There’s blatant honesty in her voice and she looks away, trying to hide the flash of guilt that I catch anyway but don’t understand. She holds out her arms, inviting me to curl up in her lap, to find that soft spot I’ve been in need of.
The invitation dries up my tears and I catch her eyes and smile as I snuggle in. She runs her hand through my hair and I swear I’d purr if I could. Maybe I’ve just spent too much time alone. Maybe things will be better after she’s been home for a few days and things get back to normal. Maybe all I needed was basic human interaction.
After a while, Becca shifts and I sit up, smiling my thanks. “So anyway,” she says, running her hands up into her hair and giving it a little shake, “I was thinking about what you said, about wanting help dealing with people.” There’s something super-secret and awesome glittering in her eyes, a smile creeping into her eyebrows, lifting them and making her look all playful and totally adorable. Why can’t I manage to look like that? I think if I tried, I’d end up looking like I smelled something rotten. After making sure I’m paying attention, Becca continues. “Well, I was thinking we go down to Flannigan’s …” I flinch at the suggestion but she doesn’t notice. “I ran into an old friend back home. Turns out he doesn’t live too far from here.”
“Who?” If there’s a bit of confrontation in my voice it totally belongs there. I’ve been friends with Becca since forever and I’m pretty sure I know the entire list of people she’s ever met. I don’t know of anyone else from back home who headed out this way.
She gets all dodgy and waves her hand as if flicking my question out of the way. “I doubt you remember him.” And while her tone says the topic is closed for discussion, I’m not sure I agree with her. “Anyway, he’s got this friend who you might really be interested in…”
I can’t go to Flannigan’s ‘cause that’s where Noah tends to find me and I refuse to believe that Becca has an old friend who meant enough to her that she’s willing to hang out with him and worse, set me up with a friend of said friend. Something’s fishy.
“Come on, Zo. I can see fear and worry written all over your face. You asked me for help, I found help. You still have to be the one to overcome whatever it is you have to overcome.” Her eyes are more guarded than I’m used to seeing and instead of sparkling in that impossibly adorable way of hers, they glitter with something cold and calculating. Or maybe I’m imagining that. Who knows?
“I don’t want to go to Flannigan’s. Noah might be there.” And I don’t know how I’ll handle seeing him and wanting him and not being near him because he might be bad for me and I might be too broken to know.
“You’re still hung up on that guy?”
He monopolizes nearly every waking thought, but saying that will only set her off. I just nod my agreement and leave it at that.
“Of all the guys you could fall for, you find the one who’s only interested in ruining you.”
I almost blurt out my instant reaction, something indignant and defensive but I manage to swallow it back down before it even manages to flicker across my face.
Becca doesn’t notice. “That’s all the more reason we need to go to Flannigan’s and meet these guys, my friend. If Sir Jerk is there, then he’ll get to see that you didn’t
Becca watches me think, her bright, sparkling eyes catching the emotions boiling under my surface. My senses hop into overdrive and I feel warm and golden and bruised and purple and so damned uncomfortable I don’t know what to do. “It just sucks being me. That’s all.”
Becca clenches her eyebrows together and I see genuine sympathy on her face. “I know. I’m sorry. I try to help but sometimes I think I make it harder on you.” There’s blatant honesty in her voice and she looks away, trying to hide the flash of guilt that I catch anyway but don’t understand. She holds out her arms, inviting me to curl up in her lap, to find that soft spot I’ve been in need of.
The invitation dries up my tears and I catch her eyes and smile as I snuggle in. She runs her hand through my hair and I swear I’d purr if I could. Maybe I’ve just spent too much time alone. Maybe things will be better after she’s been home for a few days and things get back to normal. Maybe all I needed was basic human interaction.
After a while, Becca shifts and I sit up, smiling my thanks. “So anyway,” she says, running her hands up into her hair and giving it a little shake, “I was thinking about what you said, about wanting help dealing with people.” There’s something super-secret and awesome glittering in her eyes, a smile creeping into her eyebrows, lifting them and making her look all playful and totally adorable. Why can’t I manage to look like that? I think if I tried, I’d end up looking like I smelled something rotten. After making sure I’m paying attention, Becca continues. “Well, I was thinking we go down to Flannigan’s …” I flinch at the suggestion but she doesn’t notice. “I ran into an old friend back home. Turns out he doesn’t live too far from here.”
“Who?” If there’s a bit of confrontation in my voice it totally belongs there. I’ve been friends with Becca since forever and I’m pretty sure I know the entire list of people she’s ever met. I don’t know of anyone else from back home who headed out this way.
She gets all dodgy and waves her hand as if flicking my question out of the way. “I doubt you remember him.” And while her tone says the topic is closed for discussion, I’m not sure I agree with her. “Anyway, he’s got this friend who you might really be interested in…”
I can’t go to Flannigan’s ‘cause that’s where Noah tends to find me and I refuse to believe that Becca has an old friend who meant enough to her that she’s willing to hang out with him and worse, set me up with a friend of said friend. Something’s fishy.
“Come on, Zo. I can see fear and worry written all over your face. You asked me for help, I found help. You still have to be the one to overcome whatever it is you have to overcome.” Her eyes are more guarded than I’m used to seeing and instead of sparkling in that impossibly adorable way of hers, they glitter with something cold and calculating. Or maybe I’m imagining that. Who knows?
“I don’t want to go to Flannigan’s. Noah might be there.” And I don’t know how I’ll handle seeing him and wanting him and not being near him because he might be bad for me and I might be too broken to know.
“You’re still hung up on that guy?”
He monopolizes nearly every waking thought, but saying that will only set her off. I just nod my agreement and leave it at that.
“Of all the guys you could fall for, you find the one who’s only interested in ruining you.”
I almost blurt out my instant reaction, something indignant and defensive but I manage to swallow it back down before it even manages to flicker across my face.
Becca doesn’t notice. “That’s all the more reason we need to go to Flannigan’s and meet these guys, my friend. If Sir Jerk is there, then he’ll get to see that you didn’t
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