Hinduism is the stability and the welfare of the world. The four stages of man, the student, the householder, the forest recluse and the wandering holy man, had been cut off for Taj, as he was a young man who had not completed the first two. He said some other words I did not understand; in fact I didn’t understand any of it and felt my legs go from under me as I fainted.
Mrs Menon took my arm and gently let me to the car and helped me into it. I was glad to get away from the funeral rites, as I felt afraid and uneasy. I also felt nauseous. She gave me a drink of water she had in the car and I told her I was fine and for her to go back to the River, where the ceremony was being held. I sat quietly in the car and thought that the dead live on in all of us. I remember my grandmother dying and yet I thought of her all the time because I loved her. Taj will live on in me, a conjoined love always present, I know that he will live within me, all the days of my life.
After the ceremony I asked Dr Menon if he would take me back to my cottage in the village. I felt I was an embarrassment to them and I wanted to be alone. I sneaked in to the door and curled myself up on the bed. I felt as if I had done something wrong. I remember the night of Mark’s party and the bleakness of the forever I shall have to face now, without my lover. I miss the smile upon his face; I miss the love and care he always showed to me, I miss the laughter and the committed love he gave to me. How will I live on in this world without him?
Chapter 10
Mark has been contacted and he is here knocking at my door. I crawl out of bed and he hugs me as he enters the room.
“My God Sarah what has happened to you, I’ve never seen you look so ill.” He says.
“I haven’t slept or eaten since Taj’s funeral and I feel so dreadful that I just want to die.” I sob.
Mark holds me close and pats my back gently, trying to console me. I think this is not right; I should not be putting my eighteen-year-old Mark through this.
I wipe my eyes and try to smile. “I bet you are hungry after the trek, I’ll make us a meal and a hot drink.”
He agrees and we get the paltry supplies together. There is a bit of smoked meat and with vegetables and herbs from the terrace we have the makings of some soup. Mark brews a pot of tea and I start peeling and preparing the vegetables for the soup.
“I couldn’t believe what I heard about the crash, I had no idea that Taj would be on the plane.” Mark said as he brewed the tea.
“I don’t know if you knew but Taj and I were very close. We loved each other.”
I tell Mark.
“I know, I could see how it was between both of you, when we were here before our trek.” He replies
He had left his friends to come to me because he didn’t want to spoil their holiday.
They had wanted to return with him but he felt that they would have been too much for me to cope with, at this bad time. He was right; I just needed someone of my own family.
The day after Mark’s arrival, Julian from V.S.O., contacted me to say that he was sending a replacement for my job and Joe would bring her the following day and that I was to have some leave with them in Kathmandu. I didn’t want to leave Pokhara. Mark and I had been a walk around the lake and had called in to see the Menons. They were coping by doing the ordinary things they always did, Dr Menon was back in his practice and Mrs Menon was consoling herself by talking of reincarnation, Samsara and Karma. When I left I felt so alone, as I could not enter this strange world of Hinduism.
Mark took my hand and said,” I will come with you to Kathmandu and stay with you until my friends reach there for our flight home.”
I was glad of Mark’s support and Julian and Sue’s quiet company. I fretted when I was alone and I
Mrs Menon took my arm and gently let me to the car and helped me into it. I was glad to get away from the funeral rites, as I felt afraid and uneasy. I also felt nauseous. She gave me a drink of water she had in the car and I told her I was fine and for her to go back to the River, where the ceremony was being held. I sat quietly in the car and thought that the dead live on in all of us. I remember my grandmother dying and yet I thought of her all the time because I loved her. Taj will live on in me, a conjoined love always present, I know that he will live within me, all the days of my life.
After the ceremony I asked Dr Menon if he would take me back to my cottage in the village. I felt I was an embarrassment to them and I wanted to be alone. I sneaked in to the door and curled myself up on the bed. I felt as if I had done something wrong. I remember the night of Mark’s party and the bleakness of the forever I shall have to face now, without my lover. I miss the smile upon his face; I miss the love and care he always showed to me, I miss the laughter and the committed love he gave to me. How will I live on in this world without him?
Chapter 10
Mark has been contacted and he is here knocking at my door. I crawl out of bed and he hugs me as he enters the room.
“My God Sarah what has happened to you, I’ve never seen you look so ill.” He says.
“I haven’t slept or eaten since Taj’s funeral and I feel so dreadful that I just want to die.” I sob.
Mark holds me close and pats my back gently, trying to console me. I think this is not right; I should not be putting my eighteen-year-old Mark through this.
I wipe my eyes and try to smile. “I bet you are hungry after the trek, I’ll make us a meal and a hot drink.”
He agrees and we get the paltry supplies together. There is a bit of smoked meat and with vegetables and herbs from the terrace we have the makings of some soup. Mark brews a pot of tea and I start peeling and preparing the vegetables for the soup.
“I couldn’t believe what I heard about the crash, I had no idea that Taj would be on the plane.” Mark said as he brewed the tea.
“I don’t know if you knew but Taj and I were very close. We loved each other.”
I tell Mark.
“I know, I could see how it was between both of you, when we were here before our trek.” He replies
He had left his friends to come to me because he didn’t want to spoil their holiday.
They had wanted to return with him but he felt that they would have been too much for me to cope with, at this bad time. He was right; I just needed someone of my own family.
The day after Mark’s arrival, Julian from V.S.O., contacted me to say that he was sending a replacement for my job and Joe would bring her the following day and that I was to have some leave with them in Kathmandu. I didn’t want to leave Pokhara. Mark and I had been a walk around the lake and had called in to see the Menons. They were coping by doing the ordinary things they always did, Dr Menon was back in his practice and Mrs Menon was consoling herself by talking of reincarnation, Samsara and Karma. When I left I felt so alone, as I could not enter this strange world of Hinduism.
Mark took my hand and said,” I will come with you to Kathmandu and stay with you until my friends reach there for our flight home.”
I was glad of Mark’s support and Julian and Sue’s quiet company. I fretted when I was alone and I
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