up.”
“Okay.”
MacAullif had an unmarked car. I didn’t know if the doors were locked, but if I wanted I could have hopped into the front seat, or reached up and strangled him, or put my hands over his eyes so he couldn’t see what he was doing. If that occurred to MacAullif he didn’t seem too concerned, just kept flying down the street.
“You mind telling me where we’re going? It’s not just an idle question. There are some places we probably shouldn’t go.”
“Like the Jersey Shore?”
A woman with a laundry cart leapt to safety, a look of sheer terror on her face.
“MacAullif!”
“I do you a favor. A favor I probably shouldn’t do. A favor that is out of my jurisdiction. I pull a fast one, impersonate an officer—and don’t say I am an officer, I mean a New Jersey officer. I pull it off and get you a name and address. And do you investigate the guy who lives at that address? No. You kill the guy who lives at that address.”
“I didn’t kill anyone.”
“He’s dead.”
“That’s not my fault.”
“Oh, no? You don’t investigate this guy, you think he’s lying on some slab in the morgue, or out playing the ponies?”
“It doesn’t have to be cause and effect.”
“No, it doesn’t have to be.”
“It’s probably not. Come on, MacAullif. The motel manager doesn’t know you. The motel manager doesn’t know you’re connected to me. The motel manager doesn’t know squat. The motel manager is just a guy giving you a name and address. Of someone we thought might be mixed up in the murder. Well, guess what? He is. This is good news. The death of the dipshit indicates we’re on the right path.”
“We’re not on the right path. We’re not on any path. We’re on no path whatsofuckingever, you and I. Is that clear?”
“What do you mean clear?”
MacAullif ran a red light and swerved around a bus, at the end of which he gave a perfunctory toot on the siren. “Don’t be dense. I am not involved in this case. There is no reason to involve me in this case. If you do involve me in this case, I consider it a bad move and a breach of friendship. Is that clear?”
“Absolutely.”
“So what are you gonna say when a cop asks you how you got this guy’s address?”
“I’ll tell him to go fuck himself.”
MacAullif slammed on the brakes, pulled in next to a fire plug. He turned in his seat to grab me by the lapels long before the car stopped. “Asshole! I’m serious. Have you given any thought as to what you’re going to say?”
“I want to call my lawyer.”
“Don’t pull that shit on me.”
“No, that’s what I’m gonna say. I’m gonna call my lawyer and I’m going to shut the fuck up. I’ve been arrested for murder and I’m out on bail.”
I could feel some of the tension go out of MacAullif’s body. “Well, that’s something.”
“Yeah, it’s wonderful,” I said. “It’s not great news for me , but some of the people in this car ought to be happy.”
“All right, let’s have it. How bad is it?”
“I don’t know. Why did you kick down Richard’s door and drag me out of there?”
“You know why.”
“Yeah, but the details matter. When you heard the guy was dead, how did you find out, and in what context? Was it brought to you personally, or was it just something you plucked out of the general pool of information?”
MacAullif exhaled noisily, shook his head. “If you were only half as good analyzing crime as you were at nitpicking my motivations. Okay, dipshit, you’re closeted with your lawyer, you’re not the least bit surprised to find the asshole’s dead. Assuming you didn’t kill him, what did you do?”
“Will you stay on that side of the seat?”
“Don’t be a schmuck.”
I gave MacAullif a rundown of the situation. I can’t say I improved his mood any.
“So, the cops haven’t picked you up yet,” he mused.
“I like to think of it as they haven’t picked me up.”
“Fat chance. Suspect out on bail when a
“Okay.”
MacAullif had an unmarked car. I didn’t know if the doors were locked, but if I wanted I could have hopped into the front seat, or reached up and strangled him, or put my hands over his eyes so he couldn’t see what he was doing. If that occurred to MacAullif he didn’t seem too concerned, just kept flying down the street.
“You mind telling me where we’re going? It’s not just an idle question. There are some places we probably shouldn’t go.”
“Like the Jersey Shore?”
A woman with a laundry cart leapt to safety, a look of sheer terror on her face.
“MacAullif!”
“I do you a favor. A favor I probably shouldn’t do. A favor that is out of my jurisdiction. I pull a fast one, impersonate an officer—and don’t say I am an officer, I mean a New Jersey officer. I pull it off and get you a name and address. And do you investigate the guy who lives at that address? No. You kill the guy who lives at that address.”
“I didn’t kill anyone.”
“He’s dead.”
“That’s not my fault.”
“Oh, no? You don’t investigate this guy, you think he’s lying on some slab in the morgue, or out playing the ponies?”
“It doesn’t have to be cause and effect.”
“No, it doesn’t have to be.”
“It’s probably not. Come on, MacAullif. The motel manager doesn’t know you. The motel manager doesn’t know you’re connected to me. The motel manager doesn’t know squat. The motel manager is just a guy giving you a name and address. Of someone we thought might be mixed up in the murder. Well, guess what? He is. This is good news. The death of the dipshit indicates we’re on the right path.”
“We’re not on the right path. We’re not on any path. We’re on no path whatsofuckingever, you and I. Is that clear?”
“What do you mean clear?”
MacAullif ran a red light and swerved around a bus, at the end of which he gave a perfunctory toot on the siren. “Don’t be dense. I am not involved in this case. There is no reason to involve me in this case. If you do involve me in this case, I consider it a bad move and a breach of friendship. Is that clear?”
“Absolutely.”
“So what are you gonna say when a cop asks you how you got this guy’s address?”
“I’ll tell him to go fuck himself.”
MacAullif slammed on the brakes, pulled in next to a fire plug. He turned in his seat to grab me by the lapels long before the car stopped. “Asshole! I’m serious. Have you given any thought as to what you’re going to say?”
“I want to call my lawyer.”
“Don’t pull that shit on me.”
“No, that’s what I’m gonna say. I’m gonna call my lawyer and I’m going to shut the fuck up. I’ve been arrested for murder and I’m out on bail.”
I could feel some of the tension go out of MacAullif’s body. “Well, that’s something.”
“Yeah, it’s wonderful,” I said. “It’s not great news for me , but some of the people in this car ought to be happy.”
“All right, let’s have it. How bad is it?”
“I don’t know. Why did you kick down Richard’s door and drag me out of there?”
“You know why.”
“Yeah, but the details matter. When you heard the guy was dead, how did you find out, and in what context? Was it brought to you personally, or was it just something you plucked out of the general pool of information?”
MacAullif exhaled noisily, shook his head. “If you were only half as good analyzing crime as you were at nitpicking my motivations. Okay, dipshit, you’re closeted with your lawyer, you’re not the least bit surprised to find the asshole’s dead. Assuming you didn’t kill him, what did you do?”
“Will you stay on that side of the seat?”
“Don’t be a schmuck.”
I gave MacAullif a rundown of the situation. I can’t say I improved his mood any.
“So, the cops haven’t picked you up yet,” he mused.
“I like to think of it as they haven’t picked me up.”
“Fat chance. Suspect out on bail when a
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