do. Yes. I
always
want to be the winner. That’s what I do. I root for us to win. That’s what we all do.” She swept her arm around the set. “We root for Mica.” She jabbed her finger at the stage. “Who do you root for?”
Stargirl hesitated. She smiled, she threw out her arms. “I root for
everybody!
”
Kevin—to the rescue, thankfully—clapped his hands. “Hey—how about this? Maybe it should be official. Maybe one person in the whole district should be appointed to be on”—he waved his arm—“everybody’s side!”
Stargirl reached over and slapped Kevin’s knee. “She could wear every school’s letter on her sweater!”
Kevin laughed. “She’d have to be big as a house!”
Stargirl slapped her own knee. “Then no letter at all. That’s even better.” She looked into the camera, she swiped at the space before her. “Out with letters!”
“Cheerleader-at-large!”
“Everybody’s cheerleader!”
Kevin sat at attention, placed his hand over his heart. “With liberty and justice…and a cheerleader for all.”
Ebersole snarled into the jury mike: “And a nut roll for all.”
Kevin wagged his finger. “That’s a no-no,” he scolded. “No statements from the jury. Questions only.”
Renee Bozeman snatched the mike. “Okay, here’s a question. Why did you quit homeschooling?”
Stargirl’s face became serious. “I wanted to make friends.”
“Well, you sure have a funny way of showing it, making the whole school mad at you.”
I wished I had never given in to Hot-Seating Stargirl.
Stargirl just stared. Chico filled the screen with her face.
“Gimme—” It was Jennifer St. John, reaching for the mike. “And out of school, too. You meddle into everybody’s business. You stick your nose in, whether you’re invited or not. Why do you do that?”
Stargirl had no reply. Her usual impish expression was gone. She looked at Jennifer. She looked at the camera, as if trying to find an answer in the lens. Then she was looking away, looking at the control room. I took my eyes from the monitor and for a second I thought they met hers at the control room window.
I had been wondering when Hillari Kimble would speak up. Now she did. “I’m gonna tell you something, girl. You’re goofy. You’re crazy.” Hillari was standing, jabbing her finger at Stargirl, chewing on the mike. “You must’ve come from
Mars
or something…” Kevin raised a timid hand. “And don’t you tell me ‘no statements,’ Kevin. Where’d you come from, Mars or something? There, now it’s a question. Why don’t you go back to where you came from? There’s another question.”
Stargirl’s eyes filled the camera.
Don’t cry,
I prayed.
There was no stopping Hillari. “You want to cheer for other schools? Fine! Go there! Don’t come to
my
school. Get outta
my
school!”
Other hands were snatching at the mike.
“I know what your problem is. All this weird stuff you do? It’s just to get attention.”
“It’s to get a boyfriend!”
The jurors laughed. They were a mob. Hands grabbed at the mike. Kevin looked anxiously at me. I could do nothing. With all the buttons and switches at my command, I was helpless to change anything on the other side of the glass.
“I got a simple question for you. What’s the matter with you? Huh?
Huh?
”
“Why can’t you be normal?”
“Why do you wanna be so different?”
“Yeah—is something wrong with us, you gotta be so different?”
“Why don’t you wear makeup?”
They were all standing now, jabbing, jutting, shouting, whether they had the mike or not.
“You don’t like us, do you?
Do
you?”
Mr. Robineau flipped the master toggle on the console. “That’s it,” he said.
I flipped the studio sound switch. “That’s it. Show’s over.”
The jury went on shouting.
14
This was the start of a period that blurs as I try to recall it. Incidents seem to cascade and merge. Events become feelings, feelings become events. Head and
always
want to be the winner. That’s what I do. I root for us to win. That’s what we all do.” She swept her arm around the set. “We root for Mica.” She jabbed her finger at the stage. “Who do you root for?”
Stargirl hesitated. She smiled, she threw out her arms. “I root for
everybody!
”
Kevin—to the rescue, thankfully—clapped his hands. “Hey—how about this? Maybe it should be official. Maybe one person in the whole district should be appointed to be on”—he waved his arm—“everybody’s side!”
Stargirl reached over and slapped Kevin’s knee. “She could wear every school’s letter on her sweater!”
Kevin laughed. “She’d have to be big as a house!”
Stargirl slapped her own knee. “Then no letter at all. That’s even better.” She looked into the camera, she swiped at the space before her. “Out with letters!”
“Cheerleader-at-large!”
“Everybody’s cheerleader!”
Kevin sat at attention, placed his hand over his heart. “With liberty and justice…and a cheerleader for all.”
Ebersole snarled into the jury mike: “And a nut roll for all.”
Kevin wagged his finger. “That’s a no-no,” he scolded. “No statements from the jury. Questions only.”
Renee Bozeman snatched the mike. “Okay, here’s a question. Why did you quit homeschooling?”
Stargirl’s face became serious. “I wanted to make friends.”
“Well, you sure have a funny way of showing it, making the whole school mad at you.”
I wished I had never given in to Hot-Seating Stargirl.
Stargirl just stared. Chico filled the screen with her face.
“Gimme—” It was Jennifer St. John, reaching for the mike. “And out of school, too. You meddle into everybody’s business. You stick your nose in, whether you’re invited or not. Why do you do that?”
Stargirl had no reply. Her usual impish expression was gone. She looked at Jennifer. She looked at the camera, as if trying to find an answer in the lens. Then she was looking away, looking at the control room. I took my eyes from the monitor and for a second I thought they met hers at the control room window.
I had been wondering when Hillari Kimble would speak up. Now she did. “I’m gonna tell you something, girl. You’re goofy. You’re crazy.” Hillari was standing, jabbing her finger at Stargirl, chewing on the mike. “You must’ve come from
Mars
or something…” Kevin raised a timid hand. “And don’t you tell me ‘no statements,’ Kevin. Where’d you come from, Mars or something? There, now it’s a question. Why don’t you go back to where you came from? There’s another question.”
Stargirl’s eyes filled the camera.
Don’t cry,
I prayed.
There was no stopping Hillari. “You want to cheer for other schools? Fine! Go there! Don’t come to
my
school. Get outta
my
school!”
Other hands were snatching at the mike.
“I know what your problem is. All this weird stuff you do? It’s just to get attention.”
“It’s to get a boyfriend!”
The jurors laughed. They were a mob. Hands grabbed at the mike. Kevin looked anxiously at me. I could do nothing. With all the buttons and switches at my command, I was helpless to change anything on the other side of the glass.
“I got a simple question for you. What’s the matter with you? Huh?
Huh?
”
“Why can’t you be normal?”
“Why do you wanna be so different?”
“Yeah—is something wrong with us, you gotta be so different?”
“Why don’t you wear makeup?”
They were all standing now, jabbing, jutting, shouting, whether they had the mike or not.
“You don’t like us, do you?
Do
you?”
Mr. Robineau flipped the master toggle on the console. “That’s it,” he said.
I flipped the studio sound switch. “That’s it. Show’s over.”
The jury went on shouting.
14
This was the start of a period that blurs as I try to recall it. Incidents seem to cascade and merge. Events become feelings, feelings become events. Head and
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