Stay by Kelly Mooney

other.
    It had been four days since spotting them and four
days since I left my apartment. I’d convinced myself that they were
here on vacation and had gone back to Illinois. Max had come to be
with me every night since, and not once had he asked me any
questions. He just showed up, kissed me for a few minutes, and then
held me while we slept. Sex was still off the table with him. I
could tell he was holding back, afraid to take it another step
until I gave him the green light. Luckily for me, he was perfectly
fine with doing mostly everything but the actual deed.
    It was Thursday and I was expected back at work. I
needed the money. I’d have to dip into my Maggie’s baking school
funds if I didn’t make some cash for the rent due next week. Each
week I’d put in whatever I could manage to go to back to school. I
rolled over and out of Max’s grip, but his hands found me. “Where
are you going?”
    “It’s Thursday. You can stay and hang out until I
get back.” Every Thursday morning I volunteered at The Children’s
Hospital to hold sick babies. It was my way of giving back.
    “Do you want me to come?”
    “You can’t. You know you have to go through the
paperwork and stuff. But maybe someday.”
    I leaned down to peck his lips. “I’ll be here,” he
said.
    I’d never missed one no matter how tired I was. I
loved this place. Even though there was so much sadness here, it
was the only hour I got that made me feel like I was doing
something good. Something Jeremy and Luke would be proud of me for.
Something I had to do.
    I peeked into the room once I scrubbed in, letting
Mary know that I was here for my scheduled volunteer hour. A few
minutes later, she brought out a baby. He’d been here for two
weeks. I held him last week too. His mother was addicted to crack
and heroin and had infected her little innocent baby with HIV. She
was currently going through major withdrawal, but she’d be better
soon. At least that was what they told me. I held him close to my
chest, rocking him in the chair, singing the lullaby my mother used
to sing to me. He settled right down.
    I’d been coming to the Children’s Hospital ever
since I’d arrived in New York. It was the least I could do after
everything. And it made me feel better. After holding two babies,
my hour was up. I hated letting them go back to being alone with no
one to soothe them when they cried, or simply to feel the warmth of
a hand wrapped around their teeny, tiny fingers. It took almost
three months of Thursdays for me to stop crying when I walked away
to go home.
    Before making my way back to Max, I walked around a
little longer than I should have but stopped to grab two coffees,
knowing he’d probably stilled be passed out from working late. He
was working at Monroe’s tonight, so he’d leave way before me to get
to the dinner rush. Even though it was one of his nights off from
the club, he’d promised to swing by after to walk me home.
    As I slipped the key into the second lock, I heard
another click from inside and then the door swung open. Max still
wasn’t fully dressed, but he grabbed the coffees out of my hand,
placed them down, and then picked me up, kissing every inch of my
face. “Where’ve you been? I was worried.”
    “Sorry.” He set me down. “I did some window
shopping, then stopped for those,” I said, pointing to my
much-needed caffeine fix.
    He smacked me gently on the butt. “Thanks for always
thinking of me too.” He grabbed his coffee, lifting it to his lips,
but studied me while he sipped. “So, you good for tonight?”
    I walked around him so he couldn’t see the fear
that’d been sinking in over the last hour. I’d chipped off every
bit of nail polish applied the night before. “I’ll be fine. I’m
sure they’re gone.”
    “Yeah, you’re probably right.” He sounded defeated.
“They haven’t been back.”
    I opened my closet to grab tonight’s outfit but saw
his sullen face. “Hey, what’s wrong?” I