ancient compact carried her up the curving driveway where the morning sun bullied its way between towering trees lining the path to the main building. The three-story brick building at the end of the drive was her mother’s home. The home Sydney could never share with her.
“I’m so sorry, Mama,” Syd whispered.
She pulled into a parking space, stared straight ahead and focused her mind on the task ahead. Visits always drained her. As much as she loved her mother, time spent with her reminded Syd that her life, once again, had been torn from her clutching, desperate hands. When it came to her mother, all she wanted was to hang on when, in reality, she’d already been forced to let go.
She shook off the guilt and sorrow. No sense in wallowing in it. She’d made her choices and kept her secrets. Her mother’s awful story would never be public fodder.
Not if Syd could help it.
The woman had suffered enough.
Syd locked the car and walked the path to the front door while drawing deep, even breaths and concentrating on staying upbeat, positive. Not always an easy task. The prep work for her visit was almost as taxing as the visit itself. Still, she needed to be ready.
After checking in at the desk and dropping off a fresh batch of lemon drop cookies for Eve, the receptionist, Syd made her way to the second floor and was buzzed into the west wing. Stale air enfolded her and she stopped to center herself. How did the patients live without windows that could open?
Keep moving .
She marched to her mother’s room, knocked lightly and opened the door. A room with bare, concrete walls—glass from picture frames could be used as weapons—greeted her. The bed, as usual had been made and the lone vinyl recliner sat empty.
“She’s in the game room.”
Syd turned and saw Becky, one of her mother’s day nurses. “Thanks, Becky. How is she today?”
“She’s okay. A little off.”
That could mean a lot of things, but Syd didn’t need to question the nurse further. If there’d been a major problem, she would have been notified.
Becky pointed at the room next door. “Mr. Hawkins is giving us a run. We’ve got him stabilized.”
Mr. Hawkins had been her mother’s neighbor for the last five years. Given that he never received visitors, Syd liked to look in on him. At fifty-one years old, the poor man was living inside the mind of an unstable teenager. “Is he okay?”
“Yeah. Just stay away from his room today, will you?”
“Of course. Please tell him I asked after him. I don’t want him to think I forgot.”
“I’ll tell him. Go see your mom. She’s waiting for you.”
Syd entered the game room where two patients sat at a corner table playing cards. They must be new . Both men looked to be in their thirties, and Syd imagined she’d learn their story over the coming months. When someone entered this hellish place for treatment, they weren’t on the express train out. They were here to stay. Which gave Syd ample opportunity to figure out who was plagued by what illness.
As psychiatric hospitals went, this was the best. When Syd left here, she knew her mother was in good hands. Lord knew anything could happen when the mentally ill were locked in a building together, but the staff did amazing work keeping everyone safe.
“Hello, Syd,” the aide sitting by the door said.
“Hi, Brian. It’s quiet in here today.”
He nodded and shifted his gaze back to the men in the corner to resume his watch. None of the patients were allowed to be alone with another. The situation could become too volatile. Precisely why none of the windows had blind cords that could be used as weapons.
And her mother belonged here.
The deep, gutting ache that Syd constantly fought nagged at her. Was a little peace too much to ask for? Considering the lifestyle she’d chosen, what was the point of even hoping? She pushed the ache back into the hole it had crawled from.
Mom sat by the window, staring off at the gardens
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