through the
rooms. I grabbed a snack in the kitchen—leftover turkey and a few pinches of
leftover stuffing, with a forkful of green bean casserole—but the sound of some
of the housekeeper or someone else who worked in the mansion sent me running
away again. I wondered if everyone in the house knew about Jaxon and me by now;
whether they were laughing among themselves about it, or thought we were
disgusting.
I started to head back to my room, but I couldn’t
bear the idea of spending hours more by myself, doing nothing, staring at the
TV and watching stupid videos online. I headed down the hallway, remembering
the swimming pool I’d used the first morning I’d been there—that was as safe a
place as any, I thought. I wouldn’t swim, but I could
at least put my feet in the water and think about things for a while.
I didn’t bother looking in before I opened the door.
I was so sure that Jaxon was off somewhere, making himself scarce, that it
didn’t occur to me to even expect to see him in my lonely wanderings. But there
he was, sitting at the edge of the pool, wearing swim trunks and a tee shirt,
his feet in the water just as I’d planned to be. He looked up at the sound of
the door closing behind me with a thunk and by the
look on his face I could tell that he had expected it to be anyone but me—he
was still angry, sullen-looking, scowling up at whoever had interrupted him
until he realized who it was. “Mia,” he said, the angry look going away in a
flash. “Hey.”
“Yeah,” I said. He already knew I was there. I knew
I should go away, maybe try out the home theatre that Jaxon had showed me on
the stupid tour Bob talked him into giving me, but I couldn’t help myself. “I
should’ve figured I’d run into you here.” I smiled slightly. I hadn’t wanted to
run into Jaxon, but I couldn’t stop myself now.
“Well, don’t let me ruin your good time,” Jaxon said
with a faint smile. He gestured to the edge of the pool next to him. “Let’s be
miserable together.” I laughed in spite of myself. I walked around the pool,
taking my time; I shouldn’t go for it. I should just go back to my room. But in
spite of the fact that I’d told Mom to leave me alone, I was lonely. I wanted
someone to talk to .
“So last night was interesting,” I said, sinking
down onto the ground. I pulled the legs of my pajamas up to my knees and
plunged my feet into the water, kicking them slightly. I would have rather gone
for a swim, by myself—but I didn’t have my bathing suit on, and anyway I wasn’t
alone.
“Yeah.” Jaxon blushed slightly. “So now you know just what a great Dad I have.” I
shrugged. “And what a colossal fuckup I am.”
“Hell, it was bound to come out sooner or later,” I
said. “Besides, you’re not the same guy you used to be. If you were you
wouldn’t have just gone to Juvy .”
“That’s not really as comforting as you think.”
Jaxon looked at me and laughed. “Every time something like this happens—every
time he starts drinking and wants to impress someone, it goes the same way. He
tells everyone what an awful person I was, we yell at each other, and one of us
leaves.”
“Have you ever—I mean, I don’t want to give you
unwanted advice or anything—but I guess…have you tried talking to him about it
when you’re not fighting?”
“It’s impossible.” Jaxon shrugged. “We never really
talk about anything serious. Dad just mostly ignores me whenever we’re alone
together. He calls me when I’m at school a couple of times a week, but once
we’re actually together it’s like he can’t be bothered to deal with me.”
“Yeah, I can see that.” I sighed. “Mom…she’s good,
you know? She’s done what she can. We only had each other for a long time.” I
shrugged. “I don’t think anything is ever going to be the same between us
though. I mean she looks at me like I’ve ruined her
entire life. I guess kind of I have.”
“She seemed really
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