mind of our family was already ruined.
“Mina!”
I snap my neck up to find Seth staring down at me. “What?”
“I said, ‘Are you okay?’”
“Oh… I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m just… I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine,” Seth says. He sits down at the table in the seat across from me. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I say quickly.
“Mina, come on,” he says.
“I’m just tired,” I say.
He pauses for a moment, his eyes studying my face. “You barely said a word at dinner.”
“I didn’t have much to say.”
“Are you mad that we lied to them?” he asks.
“Kind of…” I say. “But it’s what needed to be done.”
He nods. “They don’t need to know about us yet.”
“Well…” I take a deep breath. “They kind of already do, don’t they?”
Seth sits back in his chair. “What do you mean?” he asks.
“Mom told me that she and your dad caught you…”
He stares at me and I can see the memory passing over his eyes. “Fuck,” he says.
“It feels a little weird being the last to know about this…”
“I am so sorry you found out through her,” Seth whispers.
“It’s fine,” I assure him with a smile. “I honestly don’t care about that.”
“Why did she even bring it up?”
“She kept asking questions about the break-up and if you had anything to do with it. When I asked why, she told me.” I lick my lips. “But then she said that she didn’t want anything to ruin this family…” I can feel tears boiling up in my eyes, but I hold it back the best I can.
“Nothing is ruining anything.” He leans forward and puts his hands over mine on the table.
“What the hell are we doing, Seth?” I ask. “We just jumped into this without even thinking it through.”
“I did think it through.”
“So you thought about what it would mean to our parents? How it would affect them?”
“Of course I did,” he says. “I knew they’d take it hard. Especially your mother.”
“Then why didn’t you stop?!” I ask. “
“Because this is my life. Not theirs. I love who I love.”
“So you just didn’t care?” I wipe away a tear as it races down my cheek.
“I care about you,” he says. “I don’t care if they think this is wrong. It’s right to me.”
“I wish I could feel the same way,” I say.
“What are you saying, Mina?”
“I’m saying…” I sit back and pull my hands out from under his. “That we should probably sleep in separate rooms tonight.”
I stand up from the table.
“Mina, come on—”
“No, Seth.” My eyes fall from his face. He looks so crushed. “I need to really think this through again.”
He sighs and lays his head in his hands. “Fine,” he says. “But for the record… I think they’d get over it.”
“We don’t know that.”
“And so what if they don’t?” Seth stands up. He towers above me, just like he always does. “You said it yourself, Mina. The world is a shitty place. But we can make it if we’re together.”
That night feels so long ago now. Has it really only been a few days?
“Maybe I was just being naive.”
“No, now you’re being naive,” he says. He steps closer to me and rests his hands on my cheeks. “You’re stronger than this. I know it.”
“It feels wrong to keep lying to them,” I argue.
“Then we tell them. You and me. Together.”
“Well, that doesn’t sound that good either,” I joke.
“Then we sleep on it,” he says with a smile. “In separate beds, if that’s what you want. But don’t make a decision tonight.”
“Okay,” I agree. “We’ll sleep on it.”
“Good girl,” he says. He leans down and kisses my forehead. “I love you, Mina. That’s how it’s always been and it’s never going to change.”
“Never?”
“Never.”
***
“Oh, fuck…” Seth whispers in the darkness. “Never stop riding me, Mina.”
I lean over his body with my arms holding me up against his chest and wonder how I ended up in his
“Mina!”
I snap my neck up to find Seth staring down at me. “What?”
“I said, ‘Are you okay?’”
“Oh… I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m just… I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine,” Seth says. He sits down at the table in the seat across from me. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I say quickly.
“Mina, come on,” he says.
“I’m just tired,” I say.
He pauses for a moment, his eyes studying my face. “You barely said a word at dinner.”
“I didn’t have much to say.”
“Are you mad that we lied to them?” he asks.
“Kind of…” I say. “But it’s what needed to be done.”
He nods. “They don’t need to know about us yet.”
“Well…” I take a deep breath. “They kind of already do, don’t they?”
Seth sits back in his chair. “What do you mean?” he asks.
“Mom told me that she and your dad caught you…”
He stares at me and I can see the memory passing over his eyes. “Fuck,” he says.
“It feels a little weird being the last to know about this…”
“I am so sorry you found out through her,” Seth whispers.
“It’s fine,” I assure him with a smile. “I honestly don’t care about that.”
“Why did she even bring it up?”
“She kept asking questions about the break-up and if you had anything to do with it. When I asked why, she told me.” I lick my lips. “But then she said that she didn’t want anything to ruin this family…” I can feel tears boiling up in my eyes, but I hold it back the best I can.
“Nothing is ruining anything.” He leans forward and puts his hands over mine on the table.
“What the hell are we doing, Seth?” I ask. “We just jumped into this without even thinking it through.”
“I did think it through.”
“So you thought about what it would mean to our parents? How it would affect them?”
“Of course I did,” he says. “I knew they’d take it hard. Especially your mother.”
“Then why didn’t you stop?!” I ask. “
“Because this is my life. Not theirs. I love who I love.”
“So you just didn’t care?” I wipe away a tear as it races down my cheek.
“I care about you,” he says. “I don’t care if they think this is wrong. It’s right to me.”
“I wish I could feel the same way,” I say.
“What are you saying, Mina?”
“I’m saying…” I sit back and pull my hands out from under his. “That we should probably sleep in separate rooms tonight.”
I stand up from the table.
“Mina, come on—”
“No, Seth.” My eyes fall from his face. He looks so crushed. “I need to really think this through again.”
He sighs and lays his head in his hands. “Fine,” he says. “But for the record… I think they’d get over it.”
“We don’t know that.”
“And so what if they don’t?” Seth stands up. He towers above me, just like he always does. “You said it yourself, Mina. The world is a shitty place. But we can make it if we’re together.”
That night feels so long ago now. Has it really only been a few days?
“Maybe I was just being naive.”
“No, now you’re being naive,” he says. He steps closer to me and rests his hands on my cheeks. “You’re stronger than this. I know it.”
“It feels wrong to keep lying to them,” I argue.
“Then we tell them. You and me. Together.”
“Well, that doesn’t sound that good either,” I joke.
“Then we sleep on it,” he says with a smile. “In separate beds, if that’s what you want. But don’t make a decision tonight.”
“Okay,” I agree. “We’ll sleep on it.”
“Good girl,” he says. He leans down and kisses my forehead. “I love you, Mina. That’s how it’s always been and it’s never going to change.”
“Never?”
“Never.”
***
“Oh, fuck…” Seth whispers in the darkness. “Never stop riding me, Mina.”
I lean over his body with my arms holding me up against his chest and wonder how I ended up in his
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